Was I wrong?

Question

My boyfriend let me down big time . He told me he needed some time alone for several days cause he felt ashamed he let me down so much.

I thought he would contact me after a few days but he didn't. So I tried to contact him but got no reply.( I still love him and thought I should give him another chance) We were out of touch for about two weeks. I got very worried about him so I contacted one of his friends, and asked if she could contact him and see if he was ok. She did and told me he was fine and that he said he didn't like his friend being disturbed like that.

My boyfriend actually contacted me before his friend called him. I told him about me contacting his friend and stuff , and he said nothing, expect that they were out of touch for a while too.

Why didn't he let me know he was unhappy about me bothering his friend, but instead, told his friend he didn't like that? It made me think he didn't tell me everything & he cared about his friends more than me.

Was I wrong to ask his friend a favor like that ? I was just worried.

Answer 1

sounds like you need to stay away from him he doesnt want you to bother him and he is being ignorant about it****

Answer 2

I have a few questions to better analyze and understand your situation: Age? Long time dating? And why did he let you down? All those factors will help me give you the what in my opinion I would consider right answer. However the fact that you contacted his friend was because indeed you care about him. But you have to learn to respect someone elses request to be left alone until he/she is ready. If your confident about your relationship then there was no need to worry. In the end what is yours will be yours. And if you let it go and it comes back to you is because again it was meant for you. Good luck!

Answer 3

If I think you give him some time away from you. That was good, you did what he asked. But two weeks is a long time. So you were worried about him. I don't think you did any thing wrong in asking his friend to contact him. As you are both in a relationship together then if he wants more time or not together then he should tell you. Its your right to known and its not fair for you.

Answer 4

I don't think so. If you just asked his friends to check up on him (and not some spy-work to see what he's up to), then I'd say you didn't have any ulterior motive to ask them. But from his perspective, he might have been angry that you dragged his friends into a matter which he deemed private (ie. just btw you two); in which case he doesn't care about his friends more than you.

But my final advice is that you should probably not continue to pursue a relationship w/ this guy. In sum, he "let you down big time" and then didn't contact you for two weeks and then got pissy when you asked his friends to find out how he is faring? He doesn't sound worth your time.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend should have had the consideration to let you that he was alright. If he still needed time alone, he should have said that as well. In a relationship, you have to consider that the people who love you are worried about you when you don't make contact in over two weeks.

Answer 6

I don't think so. I think you were illustrating some general concern.

As long as it was not done all stalker-like, and per your story here after two weeks, I would hope someone would send a search party out for me.

Give him some space. Sounds like he's just in a "mood" right now. Sometimes people don't appreciate what you have to offer until you're out of sight for a while.

I can't quite tell if he is "over" this from your description. My advice to you would be to apologize if he felt that you betrayed in level of trust, its just that his nonresponsiveness made you resort to ensuring he was okay through the friend of his.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

No u were not wrong.. Actually he should have at least called u in those 2 weeks just to see if u r fine at least..its normal to get worried... i did the same and asked my bf's friends but he was actually happy that i got worried about him and asked.. hmm i think u should talk open with him and ask him straight if it really bothered him.. maybe it didnt actually botehred him but he tried to apologise to his friend that u "interrupted" her(or him) just ask him.. dont worry too much about it.. and just talk about your relationship.. if he says he wants to be with you then everything else doesnt really matter..

wish u the best girl :P

Answer 8

im sorry, your boyfriend isnt being fair, even if he wants space he needs to realize that you are a person and you also have feelings, and above all he is still your boyfriend, and im sorry, not even talking to you once in 2 weeks, that isnt cool. Especially when he knew you were concerned, oh and he's bothered about you talking to his friend? well it sounds like his friend didnt mind, and if he was being a man and a good boyfriend to you, he would not have left you wondering for 2 weeks, i would seriously look at the way he is treating you. . . . good luck sweetie

Answer 9

It sounds like your boyfriend was just looking for an excuse to break up. If he cared about you he would know you were just worried. I think you just need to let him go. Move on.

Answer 10

you didn't do nothing wrong he was wrong for not contacting you. I mean God forbid something bad happened to him how are you suppose to know if he doesn't contact you and your not allowed to contact his friends. nest time he should just call you. Don't feel bad things like this happen to alot of people all the time.

Answer 11

Have a serious discussion with him about this and if you two do not come to a resolution then perhaps you two would do better apart or as just friends.