I'm in a long distant relationship, I feel I'm doing all the calling....?

Question

I'm doing all the calling, but he answers all of my calls, and even calls me back straightaway to save my phone bill without me having to ask. There is a special flight offer for me to go see him, it ends in a couple of days, shall I just call him again to tell him about it or shall I just wait till he calls me? help!

How can I turn the tables? He's always in control, and stubborn, I don't want to lose him!

He told me that he really enojyed my last visit, and whilst I was there, he said when you get back, we'll book the next flight straight away! he's so weird

Answer 1

call him and tell him about the offer... if he wants you to do it then do it. after that, wait a little longer between calls and see if he will call you... i did that, when he'd finally call he'd say, "i was waiting for you to call", so i explained a few times that i didn't want this to be one sided and that i wasn't going to wait around for him to call (tactfully and gently) and he shaped right up

Answer 2

Hmmm. tough one.

How long has the realationship been happening? Has he visited you, or you visited him? How do you know each other? Have you talked about the future - who would move to be with the other, etc? I might be reading too much into you posting, but I think you are unsure about the relationship and where it is headed. I'm assuming you are (both) an adult and not <20.

One side of me says, don't spend your money on the trip. If he wants to see you then he should pay for it (whether it's you going there or him to you). Invite him to come see you, and make firm plans. If it happens, then go from there. If there are excuses, then you are in a one-sided relationship, and you need to end it.

The other side says, if the sale is super cheap, then go and surprise him. Be prepared for the worst, and have a return ticket ready. If the weekend turns out ok, then you have your answer.

Long distance is hard, but not impossible. It needs a healthy dose of flexibility, understanding, sacrifice, and very open communication. If you have all of these, trust is never an issue. A good long distance carrier helps. If you don't have the above in equal effort (both of you), then the relationship will not last. Most don't last.

Answer 3

Unfortunately if you're doing all the calling, then it seems like it's a one-sided relationship. He may not be as interested in this relationship as you are. OR he could just be very busy and not have time to call, but makes the time when you call. Tough to say without talking to him. That’s what you need to do – talk with him about the situation and if he wants to pursue the relationship more.

Controlling and stubborn men usually don’t change. Would be a waste of time to try and change him. The mere fact that you realize he’s controlling means that his personality may not jive with yours. I found that out the hard way.

If he enjoyed your last visit, truly enjoyed it, then call him as tell him about the flight offer. If he’s excited, then go for it. You be the judge on that.

Answer 4

Well, you're going to wait on the chance that he might call and it ends in a couple of days? Ummm, think about it...

Also, long distance relationships are not a good idea. Trust me. They are too stressful. It's the stupid stuff like this that makes it so stressful. Don't waste your time in a relationship like I did.

I was in an online, long distance (VERY long distance) relationship for 2 years. The guy was a jerk! He cheated on me with his ex. He never would make an effort to come see me. HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME CALL HIM! HE WAS ASHAMED OF ME. HE DIDN'T WANT HIS MOM KNOWING ABOUT ME!

This was one of the worst mistakes of my life. I went to see him once and I was "in love" with him. Pfffft, I was an idiot! I didn't know what love was! The guy was pathetic. He was a huge mama's boy. The whole time my parents are telling me to find someone local, but I was too stupid and wouldn't listen to them.

Finally, the relationship ended and I moved on. I found someone local and it's the happiest I've been. We see each other all the time, we can kiss and hug and cuddle up together. We can meet each other for lunch sometimes. He lives 15-20 minutes away!

Trust me, long distance relationships are not healthy! Get someone local that you can spend time with!

Edit: Also, don't go see him alone! You probably barely even know him and you're gonna get on an airplane and go see him. He could be a pedophile or something! If you do want to go to see if it works, then at least bring your parents along. That's what I did.

Edit 2: Haha, I think it's funny someone gave my answer a thumbs down. Apparently someone can't handle honesty. :P

Answer 5

Couldn't agree with Tones more. Stick to what he said. Let him call for a change, never mind whether that special flight offer ends in a couple of days or not. He has to be worth it for you to go see him so let him prove it by calling at least once & showing that he's thinking about you. He'll call if he does.

Answer 6

Hey Jessica,

Wait til he calls you before you make any arrangements. I mean you're doing everything here, he needs to chip in a little more so that the effort in this relationship you two share is fair.

Answer 7

I think since you're the one that does all the calling maybe you should call him since the offer does end in a couple of days, and chances are he won't call you.

Answer 8

Long distance love never works what happens when either of u wanrs to get physical? think about that. I truly don't think it can work especially if ur doing all the calling. That alone should tell u something.

Answer 9

Get on the flight and surprise him and go see him* Call him from the airport to let him know you're on your way and can he pick you up*

GoodLuck*

Answer 10

How long have you been dating?