my g/f and i have been dating for about 4 and a half yrs, she's 29, im 22 and a half. About 2 weeks ago she informed me that she was preg and will be keeping the baby. she was on the pill the whole time we were dating (allegedly) so i never used a condom or any other type of birth control. i have a few reasons why i think she got preg on purpose the main one being that i ran into a friend of hers yesterday who congratulated me and said she was happy for us b/c "she knew how much my g/f wanted a baby" which was news to me! i just graduated from college and have a good job now and my g/f has been out of college for 7 yrs so financially this isnt a problem, i just am in no way ready to be a dad b/c of the huge change that bringing a child into the world will have on someone's life. just a few month ago she and i were talking about how neither one of us is ready for marriage yet so that isnt an option. on top of this, my mom is gonna kill me! any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanx.
2007-01-26 03:56:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you poor bastard - i don't know what to say , except you poor bastard
2007-01-26 04:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, it's bad that you have mistrust for your gf, and that you question her motives. If she never talked about wanting a baby with you, and then did purposely get pregnant, then she's not the kind of person I want to be with, I want someone upfront and honest, and you just need to ask her, did she want a baby, did she plan this without telling you, and why. See what her answer is, and depending on her reasons, maybe you can overlook her dishonesty. It's not fair to you or to the baby if she did do all this scheming and planning, and who's to say she won't do that type fo thing in the future, just to get what she wants, to heck with how anyone else feels? ALL that said, the only real obligation you have is to the child. It is your (might want to get that paternity test done) responsibility to be a good father, role model, spend time with and support financially. That's what happens when you don't take birth control into your own hands. However, I do not think you should feel obligated to marrry her unless/until you resolve the trust issues. When you approach your mom, tell her, it was irresponsible on your part, you admit a bit foolish, but that whatever happens, you plan to be a man, and be in this child's life and raise it with love, care, and respect, just like she raised you to be. Good Luck!
2007-01-26 12:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should have thought about this before....there's always a chance of getting pregnant if you're having sex! Your mother won't kill you. Babies are a blessing no matter what. This is not a bad thing. You can make it a good thing. It's a baby , not an awful disease. or a problem A little , precious baby. Congratulations and be a man and be responsible whether she did this on purpose, or not.
2007-01-26 12:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by vh1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much as you would like to just blame your girlfriend, she did not get pregnant alone. Before you involve yourself in sexual activity with anyone you have to be well informed of what pro-cautions to take to best prevent pregnancy. Birth control pills are not 100 per cent effective in preventing pregnancy. You would have been wise to use a condom. You need to first confirm if she is indeed pregnant, if so, then you will have to stand up and face the issues at hand. First of all, you must tell you parents, they deserve to know and may be a source of help to you as to what decisions to make regarding options and resources to take.Expect your parents to be upset, as they most likely had high hopes for your future and this of course is a dissappointment. I hope all will turn out well for you all.
2007-01-26 12:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are grown up so your mother has aboslutely nothing to say about it! If your GF did "trick" you into pregnancy, then you have two choices. Stick with her and have the child or leave her and be a deadbeat dad.
Men try to put the full blame for pregnancies on the women. Well sweets, let me tell you that it is just as much your responsibility to protect against it as it is hers.
You are going to have to get this out in the open. Sit her down and talk to her. Then you and ONLY YOU are going to have to make up your mind and make a decision.
Best of luck to you.
2007-01-26 12:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
come straight out and ask her point blank, the only reason for asking would be for honesty issues, baby on the way... I suggest you don't marry her right now but after blood test are done on child and the baby is yours, take care of this child like all good fathers would. As a mother of four grown son's and if you want/take my advice don't get married this young. Good Luck !
2007-01-26 12:18:19 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just because she was on BC doesn't necessarily meen that she couldn't get pregnant, it does happen. Sit down with her and have a heart to heart. Her girl friends may have just been stating that she did want to have a baby, like many woman do, so this is not a terrible thing.
2007-01-26 12:04:52 · answer #7 · answered by veronica c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's wrong of ur gf to do this w/o talking 2 u bout it, but, if u really love her n there r no problems otherwise, brace urself up for being a dad, n get married to her..first, ask her if she did it on purpose..pills arent 100% preventive..there's always a little chance of conceiving..in that case, u should bear the responsibility of the baby, if the case is on purpose..think carefully wat all do u feel are important in ur life..
2007-01-26 12:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by helloall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter if she wanted to have it or not the baby is yours so you need to take resopsibility for it. Plus it is a good thing to have a baby. Brings you joy most the time.
2007-01-26 12:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by Apple Bottomz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, at this point, it doesnt really matter whether she did it on purpose or not. You're still going to be a father. I would just forget about everything else and concentrate on your upcoming arrival.
2007-01-26 12:03:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter, if you had unprotected sex, you're still responsible. It's weird that you're talking about your mommy now. Why didn't you think of this before you put your naked thing in your girlfriend? Most pregnancies aren't planned. I didn't plan on being a father of 3, but I loved being a dad...still do. Come on, Man up, dude.
2007-01-26 12:00:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋