Mom living in nasty conditions?

Question

She owns a roughly 40-y/o mobile home on a 13-acre lot that has been falling apart for years. Many appliances and fixtures don't work, and it's cluttered from deceased family members' possessions. I have respected her wishes to let her process all the stuff alone, but now she's having health issues; besides, I'm weary of seeing her being dragged down by the condition of the place, whether or not she'll admit to it! I will have to address it sooner or later anyway, as her next of kin. Neither of us has the money to stick a new house on the lot, what with all the attendant expenses of doing so. Does anyone have an idea how I can step in and make her surroundings an actual home, without riding roughshod over her and with no financial backup? Thanks...

Answer 1

I don't think there is a soulution that fits exactly for you because If she won't do it her self your going to have to do it for her. But there are a few ways. Go room by room make three piles keep sell and trash. You might have her watch that show called Mission organization on hgtv.

Answer 2

Okay. Go and read your question out loud to yourself. Think of it as what you might be reading, from someone else. Hear any theme? Now, make a list of all the positive things about this place.... Frisians. How about negatives? Crawly house. Nasty sounding even without the bugs. No consideration from the employer about you sleeping in your car. I suspect the health department wouldn't like knowing that people are being kept in an infested house. Working a very long day without better supervision and training than the other girl. Working with dangerous horses. Working with dangerous horses without a trainer to supervise, direct, and assist you or the horses. Who fed you dinner, by the way. If this was my situation, I'd leave. If you were my daughter, I'd help you leave. This is not a professional situation. This is not even palatable. If you put this on your resume, what are you going to say? You can't say you learned about training, handling, breeding, etc., since there isn't a qualified trainer to mentor you. It's a pointless waste of time. If the employer said it wasn't going to work out, he probably saw in your eyes and demeanor that you aren't a person who will tolerate the conditions at his place. He was right. And fortunately you are outta there. It's not NOT N--O--T anything to regret. The fact that he "let you go," might sting a little. It's nothing you did wrong. You said you don't like sleeping with bugs. Well, duh. Who the heck does? I'll bet he doesn't have those critters in his bedroom! You are going to find another situation. Check on the Fresian website (or any other breed website), and check the breeders or classifieds. Send emails and network the heck out of this... say what you are looking for, and ask if they are seeking such a person, or if they can possibly refer you to someone they might know. The horse world is a small one, and the internet makes it even smaller. You are correct in not repeating the name of the farm you had the problem with. Keep yourself professional, and find something else. Never never never settle for something that isn't appropriate. You know what is, and you need to always follow your heart and "gut instincts." Don't sell yourself short. Ever. You have done the right thing, in moving on. Now, keep going, and find that perfect place! I know you can!

Answer 3

Usually people don't really want to live like that but feel so overwhelmed by the whole mess that they fill they will never get out of it. The first this is to get the place cleaned. How? Get her out of there. Do you have any other family that could take her in for a few days, even just a day would make a big difference. Next, grab your trash bags, cleaners and whatever else you'll need and dig in. I've had to do this for people who weren't even my family, throwing things away in addition to the clean up. I just cleaned a 97 year old woman's house who was going blind. Her place was so bug infested and her tea cup looked like it had a crusting of black on it. She always refused help being independent but finally I just told her, I'm doing it, you need help and I'm going to give it, you'll be much happier when it's done. I had a friend take her our for the afternoon and I went to work. Not only did she feel better about the situation when she returned, so did I.

Answer 4

Is your mom mentally sound? If she is elderly and not 100% capable of making good decisions, you may have to make decisions for her- but not "ride roughshod over her". If you feel her surroundings are dragging her down, then you have every right, as her concerned next of kin to ensure that she has healthy surroundings, and obviously involving her in some way is the best option. Social services may help you get an attendant for her, and once you get the place cleaned up you'll be better able to access how to fix it up.

Answer 5

That's a tough question. Some people want there home just the way it is. My grandmother is the same way. Every is so cluttered you have to watch where you step. If i were to try and help sort things out she says everything is just where it should be. You could ask her to help clean up but if she refuses i found out it's best to not make waves and piss her off and yes, we have had a couple heated discussions about it but she has high blood pressure so it's best to just let it be.

Answer 6

She sounds like a packrat who despises boring, menial household chores, i.e. quite normal, like me! I also imagine she does not trust anyone to come in and clean her place for her. I would try to convince her to do the latter, but only when she is also present to "supervise." No matter which state you are in, there are plenty of illegals who would do it cheap.

Answer 7

look into the local seniors and aged programs that are available..or ur town or city mite have programs..gl