My upstairs neighbors and my friends (a young couple) have an elderly father/father-in-law who is on disability, and his son is officially his care-giver. Gets money from the state for it. So how is it giving care to Papa when they stay out all night and do not call to tell Papa where they are and how to reach them? It's 8:30 in the morning and they are not home. Papa is frantically calling the hospitals and the jails, the phone numbers he has of their friends. But what if they really do not come home? Or more, what should I say to them when they finally get home?
2007-01-26 03:27:38 · 21 answers · asked by auntb93again 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
4:45 p.m. and they are STILL not home, although they called this morning and said they were on their way. Anyone want to amend an answer? I'm at my wit's end, and I think Papa has gone into crisis mode.
2007-01-26 11:46:36 · update #1
They should be reported to the state agency that is issuing the money to the caregiver. They will send somone to investigate and a warning will be issued. That wake up call ( no more money) might be all it would take. The bigger issue is the lack of respect and care for this elderly person. Is he being fed... bathed. How about meds... are they being dispensed. Perhaps he would be better off in an assistant living facility. If these are your friends, it might be worth mentioning. As for the others on this post who say it is not your business, there is not a thing wrong being a whistleblower and showing concern for your fellow man.
2007-01-26 03:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone simply doesn't come home,you might want to call social services because this possibly a case of neglect towards the elderly.Staying out all night without telling Papa where they're going and how to reach them shows a disregard so blatant that it would be considered cruelty.If they really don't come home,chances are that they're dead somewhere.You should tell them that they can be arrested for mistreatment of an elderly person if they continue to do what they're doing.
2007-01-26 03:40:36 · answer #2 · answered by jsimpkinsv2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to grandpa and ask him if he would like to get new caregivers? Is there anyone who is responsible in the family that can look after him, perhaps it is time for a nursing home. Maybe discuss it with him. He must have some sort of support staff nurse or social worker that he sees at least once a month.
He has to make the move to get help .If his life is in danger, or he is not being provided with life essentials , then you can get involved, until then your hands are tied
He should make a call to the company that pays for it and report the abuse.
If he asks you to do it for him act as an intermediary then you can contact the company and have the situation assessed.
2007-01-26 03:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't say anything and report to where they send money for the son to take care of his father. and report because that abused the agreement with this and It called I.H.S.S. and they paid good and I have to meet their hrs and make sure they are met and keep track how many time they never come home all week and so that way the son will be oweing money back big time... for what he doing really really stupid... I wouldn't never do that kind to my family even from the state money. If he can't do the job he need to quit and find someone to do the best or better job than he is.
2007-01-26 04:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very interesting situation, you obviously care and you will have to use you best judgment.
1. If they do not show up -
a) offer to help get in touch with another family member
b) call family/children services...this is a start and they may be able to give you contacts
c) sit with him if you can to ensure he is OK
2. If they do show up-
a) try to see if there is good reason, something may have happened to them (start with the benefit of the doubt)
b) voice your concern and distress...let them know that their actions affect those around them
c) ask for copies of numbers and contacts and ask them to call Papa and/or you if something comes up.>make sure that they understand that it is not to restrict them but for the safety of Papa and so that you are not put in the position.
d) encourage them to hire a sitter for when they will be gone for any length so that he is safe while they are gone.
I truly hope this helps in any way...I truly believe that we all have a social responsibility to others and you are an awesome person for being concerned. Try to be diplomatic in your initial approach but if it becomes a pattern you may need to get family services involved so they can watch out for Papas well being. Good luck and my prayers are with you ~D
2007-01-26 03:40:45 · answer #5 · answered by gizmo357 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe call social services or something, what does papa say about this, maybe the money the state is paying the son could go to a nursing home for papa
2007-01-26 03:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by nanny2jada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage the son to leave a contact number (even with you if are willing) and to call him if the plans change.
I am sure the son is finding it hard to adjust having to check in to "dad" again. So he is probably acting out a bit and maybe he doesn't realize it.
Would you be willing to be a back up plan if the son isn't around? So the son can check in with you instead of dad?
2007-01-26 03:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by DEE 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Compliment first by saying they are doing a wonderful thing by taking care of him. Then ask them if they could do you a big favor. You need for them to leave you or preferably him some kind of contact number when they are out. You don't want to restrict their lives. You just need to make sure he feels comfortable knowing he can reach you somehow. It is a trying time for him and if they would do that, it would make everyone feel so much better.
2007-01-26 03:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
U need to tell them that they need to leave a number where they can be reached at all times by the elderly man, or better yet they need to have a more resposible caregiver for this man...i feel for him good luck
2007-01-26 03:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by LUCKYGIRL 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Contact a Family Social Services Agency and report them... that is totally un-called for...
2007-01-26 03:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋