My Boyfriend's ex had been calling him since last yr, & this yr paid him a visit. I didnt find out until she came, & spent the night at his place where some intimacy occured . He confessed 2me the following day when she left & promised it wouldnt happen again but he had 3keep housing her until he got her bearing in this town(she plans to relocate). This week He told me she was coming 2day, he wanted us to be friends etc, & I said I'd try to be nice. Yesterday he didnt show up and when I called him his phone was ded. I called this morning & in the course of the conversation i find out that she came in yesterday, they even went to my house to visit my brother's family with her and didnt come to see me at my office which is 3 minutes away from my house! He says they'll come together to visit me at home after work (9pm), like I'm a nobody!! I feel he should have told me she came earlier, I dont like being taken off guard. What do I do when I see them? I dont even want to see them!
2007-01-26 03:05:23 · 13 answers · asked by blueheartz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She was his first love mind you, & she left him cuz she felt he was 2good for her! Now she wants him back & I think he's rather flattered by that. She sends him text ALWAYS and calls him, even when we are 2getha. I lost my phone last month so we cant talk on phone, so he must use all that time to talk to her! His family are very comfortable with the kids having friends over but I think they dont know she was his ex. This is his second relationship, she was the 1st and that was like 4 yrs ago. I want to let him know that I feel very bad and wont take this anymore, but without sounding possessive, cuz I know he would defend her (he says she's very nice). I met her when she 1st came (they came to my office) & she strikes me as one who would stick to her plans of getting him back. I don't trust her, & I think my b/f isnt strong enuf to withstand her. I know he loves me, but he didnt seem to get enuf closure from their breakup and might want that, thats why I'm scared.
2007-01-26 03:15:31 · update #1
We are Both 25 YEARS OLD, and he talks about us getting married soon, so this is not some teen-relationship, I'd like mature answers please.
2007-01-26 03:30:32 · update #2
Life is already too complicated to bring in more complications!!!!
Common sense tells me that you probably will be better off without him...it seems as he doesn't appreciate you nor respect your position?
I am really surprised about your patience. It is an act of honesty that he confessed what he did, and that was fine, but ask yourself, do you really want to continue with this situation? Do you want to be treated like this? It is also OK to have open relationships, but only when all of the parts involved agree... You should continue being the sweetheart you seem to be and just tell him very nicely that you do not feel comfortable with the whole "ex" situation (the sooner the better) and if you really don't want to see them, then refuse politely as you are not in the obligation to do so.
Look at the bright side:
Maybe this is an opportunity to meet someone new, a fresh start? Maybe he is confused, and when he realizes that you are not there then he might reconsider and do whatever is necessary to get you back...Just play fair, and ask for a fair game as well, and I guess you will be allright.
I really wish that you solve your problem and that you all end up happy with the outcome.
2007-01-26 03:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by Nelly B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U see, dere's such a thing called love and d best definition 2 "being able 2 give ur vitals 2 d person and be willing 2 die in place of d person" also includes being ready 2 accpt and 4give any and evryting done to and by da person u're in love wit.
Dat said, it does not give him an xcuse 4 his shabby treatment of U, I believe u r 2 gud 2 have even persevered thus far, but still dere is someting u have 2 kno, no matter how gud and advice is, nobody will be able 2 tell u wat u will do dat will be best 4 u, cos u started ur relationship without we all and all dat'z bin going on in d relationship, we've not bin privy to it, search ur feelingz and kno dat wat ever u decide, no matter of commiseration from people will allay u, so all i will say is, do u still love him? If yes, fight 4 him, cos if u give up, wat'z 2 say dat d next guy u'll get, u still won't give up on him again. Go 4 it, cos U can do it, if nothing else, improve ur self-esteem with dis episode.
Chin up, I am rooting 4 U, and if all else fails, U CAN ALWAYZ GO OUT WITH ME (hahahahahaha).
But seriously, sweetie, I GOT UR BACK, SOLIDLY nd COMPLETELY.
Cheer Up!
2007-01-26 13:11:54 · answer #2 · answered by krayzieclinton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump his ***. I really don't know why people in relationships always think that its not a big deal when your partner cheats. I had a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her (and he was younger then her, and she was hott!! what a dummy) and when she found out she didn't even brake up with him. Well after a while she found out that he was still cheating on her and she finally broke it off. When a guy cheats on you it means you are not enough, and why would you ever want to be with a guy that didn't think you were enough??? You are WAY better then your giving yourself credit for. You need to cut him loose because he doesn't care enough about you to A. stop hanging out with his ex that OBVIOUSLY still has feelings for him and B.not CHEAT on you. It seems like your just waiting for him to brake it off with you which seems (from what you have said) is heading that way. Don't take the abuse girl, your better then that.
2007-01-26 13:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by dazesmitten04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not your bf, it's yalls bf. Seems he has more respect, time consideration for her and sooner than u know they will b 2gether and you will out of the picture, it is odd for a man to ask his girl 2 get along with his ex, if its his ex why should it matter how she feels and she should no longer be in the picture anyway.
then he is disrespecting you for her, who cares what you sound like you need to let him know how you feel and possibly move on. to be honest if a woman could get back with her 1st love she will do it and i am sure NO WOMAN WANTS TO FEEL 2ND OR IN COMPETITION WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. Its your call and you need to step to the plate and handle your business, know where you stand with him 1st and make sure he tell her you are #1, then again some women could care less being #2 trying to get to #1.
ASK QUESTIONS AND HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS GIRL
2007-01-26 11:44:43 · answer #4 · answered by ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Dump him now! He is not acting anything like your boyfriend. He cheated and apparently feels no remorse, as he continues to see her. I would not take his calls or answer my door when he came over. Move on and find a decent man.
2007-01-26 11:13:38 · answer #5 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem my friend...he is still emotionally tied to this woman and you are a saint in my opinion. I would tell him this is not Utah, he is not a Mormon, and NO he cannot have multiple wives or girlfriends...this is going to really rock your world I am afraid. He needs to leave her alone and focus on you, his supposed Beloved!
2007-01-26 11:12:27 · answer #6 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a new life. Your former boyfriend is busy helping his newly re-found lover with her needs.
2007-01-26 11:11:59 · answer #7 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him. tell him how you really feel.
i think it's up to him to think of how he can assure you that nothing's going on between them (and mean it). if you don't feel like he's being true to what he said, just leave him and move on.
you deserve a far better, loyal man.
2007-01-26 13:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you even need to ask?. Dump him. pronto.
Teen relationship or not,its not right..Dump him or give him an ultimatum to get rid of her for good.
2007-01-26 11:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by Kieran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. I'd dump him.
2007-01-26 11:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋