What is the funniest joke in the world ever?

Answer 1

Some years ago this was voted the best joke ever by a bunch of comedians:-

A guy meets a naked girl coming the other way on a narrow cliff path. He didn't know whether to block her passage or toss himself off.

Personally I prefer the Swedish Chemist Shop Joke:-

Man: I would like to buy a deodourant
Assistant: Ball or aerosol?
Man: No, I want it for my armpits

Answer 2

A father and son are strolling interior the park and the boy says daddy what are those 2 canine doing over there, the daddy reported they're making relatives canine, later that evening the boy walks into the father and mom bedroom and says daddy what are you doing to mommy, properly son we are making you a brother, the boy says turn her over i go with relatives canine.

Answer 3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Answer 4

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Answer 5

A man got knocked down by a mobile libary,laid on the road moaning and groaning, the driver got out and said SHUSH!!! wicked or what .

Answer 6

a gorrilla walks in a pub,he says barman give me a pint of your finest lager,the barman does so and and asks for £5,on his way to the till he decides he can't leave this and turns to the gorrilla and says, excuse me but this is wierd, i've never had a talking gorrila in my pub before. the gorrilla turns to him and says i'm not f*****g surprised at £5 a pint!

Answer 7

A man goes into a brothal pays 50 quid,he is confronted by three doors,Blond,Brunette or Dark hair,he thinks ah Blond so he goes through the blond door Another 3 doors, big tit s little tit s,medium tit s,he thinks big tit s so he goes through the big tit s door.Another 3 doors,big hips little hips medium hips,ah he thinks big hips so he goes through the big hips door.Another 3 doors big cun t,little cun t,medium cun t,ah he thinks big cun t,so he goes through the big cun t door and ends up out on the street

Answer 8

man goes into pet shop and asks for a wasp
"we don't sell wasps" says assistant
man says "you've got one in the window"

Answer 9

the queen of england,president of the u.s.a , president of cuba and the primeminister of jamaica were travelling in a plane but the whole place was covered in fog so in order for they to reach their country they will have to put their hand outside and feel something in their country, first was the queen she put her hand outside and said this is england they said how do you know she replied, it's freezing next was the president of the u.s.a same routine and said this is america how do you know i feel sky scrapers next was prez of cuba he said i feel sugar cane and last was the prime minister of jamaica he put is hand out and said this is jamaica they said how you know he said my watch is gone.

Answer 10

what did the snail say when he took a ride on a tortoise?
wheeeeeeee!


my apologies.