2007-01-26 02:27:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My brother did this to me. He doesn't think there is a problem, and now I am second guessing myself.. I mean, the price is that I lose him if I set bounderies...
2007-01-26 02:28:55 · update #1
Okay, Angel, I’ve seen you post about this situation with your brother several times, so I know the other details...at least the ones that you've shared, although obviously I don't know his side of the story, but assuming that everything you've said is accurate and is the entire story...
Young men (and sometimes even older ones) are sometimes immature. And sometimes they’re immature for a LONG time before they finally grow up. If the situation is bad enough, there does come a point where you have to put your foot down. Apparently you reached that point, BUT only after you attempted to resolve the matter.
You made a decision. Stick to it. Don’t waver. And don’t feel guilty about it.
Every time you start to feel bad, remind yourself that things have reached this point because of the choices that your brother made (not you).
Now stop obsessing over it :)
Brother may come around eventually, or he may never come around (so prepare yourself for that fact), but if you give in, NOTHING will change.
2007-01-26 02:45:02 · answer #1 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a common tactic of persons with mental illnesses to manipulate like that. You MUST set boundaries. If you do not, then you are only enabling your brother to continue his unacceptable behavior and giving a message that it is okay to abuse you.
My sister was the same way. I knew if I set boundaries, I would lose her, and I was right. It got so bad and manipulative and I got so stressed and not sure what was reality, that I HAD to set boundaries. We have not spoken for a year, and I miss her, but I am better and healthier for it, and I feel good knowing I am not enabling inappropriate behavior and making matters worse.
Good luck to you, I feel for you BIG TIME!
2007-01-26 10:34:38 · answer #2 · answered by artnerd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea. I moved away from my abusive brother to make him stop. You could always get a baseball bat and hit him with it when he starts on you. Then maybe he will get the hint that you feel threatened. Thank you and good luck. By the way, get a video camera and record him being a jerk. This might help later with the police report. (just kidding)
2007-01-26 10:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bullying is mean and intolerable BUT the big picture is that the bully is actually suffering from low self esteem. The person bullies because by picking on your "low" points....they get a temporary feeling that they are better than you. Brother or not, lose him...hopefully he'll grow up one day and realize how cruel he was.
2007-01-26 10:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by andreahud 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your brother is doing this to you ? He's some brother.. If you are being bullied then you are being bullied, Its not something you are saying without foundation. Dont ever think that you are wrong because thats what he wants, hes trying to belittle you by saying this. its part of his dominance over you. never show him a weakness, dont cry in front of him and dont take any S**t from him. Be strong and show him no weakness because thats what he's looking for..
2007-01-26 10:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have a right to set boundaries as to how you are treated. If you're going to "lose him" simply because you're requesting decent treatment, then I'd say he's well aware that he's bullying you. If he'd rather cut you off as his sister than treat you with some kindness and respect, then it's no loss to you.
2007-01-26 10:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by Jess H 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is a tactic that bullies use. He knows perfectly well that he is bullying you. Now he wants you to think that what he's doing is OK. Don't let him get away with it. Stand up to him.
2007-01-26 10:32:03 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe it will be good if you both become friends or better friends, just understand each other. Don't argue because you are destined to be brother-sister for life.
2007-01-26 10:36:46 · answer #8 · answered by mjluvfitness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your feelings are valid. You need to believe in yourself.. not what he or others tellyou to feel about yourself. If you feel bullied.. he can lay off.. that is called respect
2007-01-26 11:13:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard maybe tell him hey bro i am a girl
try to be a little softer i have feelings try this dont be agressive
2007-01-26 10:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by john t 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋