Its me again, Thanks for you answers, but it seems that you don't see?

Question

I did want another baby, but 5 years have gone by, which is one of the reasons we split, he came back to me remember, and promised that he had realised where he was meant to me and what he wanted from life, that was April, since then, he seems like he puts things off. I said if he wants a baby then fine, I do/did. But after what I went though 13 years ago and he knows how hard it has been, then I want some security. B4 we split I suggested counselling and it was either counselling or leave and he left! I left him to it but he kept visiting and had a key to our house, as he had rights (he had seen a solicitor and so had I b4 anyone says he couldnt). I just think being married is more stablising and he can't just up and leave when he wants to run away. If he wants a child (that is a commitment for me) then I want to be married (thats a commitment he needs to make). Lets just wait and see!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Answer 1

i think that you are completely right good luck with all that

Answer 2

It's good that you want security but if you've been paying attention marriage is no longer security. Having him marry you doesn't mean that he won't leave you. It will be just as easy for him to walk away, so if you want security from him I suggest you seek it in other ways even if you marry him.
I do however agree with you for not wanting to have a second child by him until you're married but again marrying him doesn't mean he won't be able or willing to walk away if he so choose. Marry him and then take it slow, if you wait a couple of months and see that things are going great then by all means have another baby or even multiples. Don't do it as a way of holding on to him though because that doesn't work either.
Well best of luck to you both.

Answer 3

Being married doesn't mean he can't just up and leave. He's just not supposed to. Have you never heard those stories of people going out to buy cigarettes and never coming home? It seems that if he won't get married then he doesn't want to commit to you, at least not in the long term.I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but from the story you've told that's the way it seems to an outsider looking in. If you have to come here looking for advice then I think you might already know the answer yourself. I hope things work out for you, I really do. Good luck with it anyway.

Answer 4

I think that is fair, you both make a serious commitment to prove how much you both really want each other, right? well I understand what you are saying even if I cant get my point across properly lol

good luck and I hope you are happy in everything you do x

Answer 5

I really think you need to insist that if he cannot commit to you, how could he expect to commit to raising a child WITH you?! And unless you're willing to pick up the slack if he leaves, why would you want to take that risk? He's being really selfish and unrealistic to think that he could handle parenthood if he has such a phobia of commitment. If he thinks a wife would tie him down, he needs to spend some time with a newborn!

Answer 6

Why are you waiting so long for a guy that obviously doesn't want to be married? You already wasted 5 years of your life... and your young son's life... You are teaching your son that it's ok to emotionaly and physically take advantage of any woman who is willing to give it- unfortunately this guy is treating you like an unpaid whore. Why don't you value what you have to offer a wonderful MAN more? You are a strong woman- why do you want this guy who doesn't want you?

5 years is PLEANTY of time to determine if he wants you for life or not, and for you as well... I left you a comment on your first question- please read that one as well. I am answering this as if you were my sister... please listen

Answer 7

Kids need a stable environment while they are growing up, and their parents being married is a good stable environment that all kids like. You are absolutely right. Do not let him change your mind.