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Before anyone goes on at me about being unfair to people with blonde hair. I have blonde hair and find the jokes rather amusing and people should lighten up

2007-01-26 02:09:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

21 answers

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blondcowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff ...

I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her.
So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt ...
So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants ... So I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ...
So I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town, cowboy..."

"And here I am."

Son of a Gun, Blonde men do exist.


No 2
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude".
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed..."YES!
YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."


MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men

2007-01-26 02:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by Bex 3 · 0 0

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.

That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."

He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"

She quickly replied, "M!"

or . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Two blondes were planning to rob a bank. The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second.

They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank.

The first blonde says to the second blonde, "Are you SURE you understand the plan?"

"Yes!" replied the second blonde.

So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank.

Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned. The first blonde gets very nervous.

Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down.

"No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!"

Or

What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
Locking the car door

2007-01-26 02:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jay A 3 · 2 0

A blonde chick went to the white house for intelligence studies because the president wanted a pretty blonde girl on his commity instead of an ugly brunett for a change. Well, the blonde girl got really excited to the point she almost pees on herself. She asked on of the gaurds where the bathroom is. The gaurd took her into the round room and told her it was the first part of her testing and she had to find a corner and pee. She asked why she had to pee in the corner and the gaurd said that there are censors in the carpet that will tell the president whyether she was smart or not. Well, she accepted his answer and closed the door. The gaurd remained outside waiting for her to come back out. About twenty minutes later she came out. The gaurd asked her why it took so long for her urinate and she said shefound the corner when she got in there she just wanted to make sure the president knew she was really smart.

2007-01-26 02:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by Christina B 1 · 0 1

I found this one yesterday:

**Not so dumb blond?**
One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.
He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa."

She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.

The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?"

At that number, the blonde agrees.

The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.

"Got it," she replies.

He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5.

Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?"

The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends.

No one knows the answer. So he gives her $500.00.

Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"

She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.

2007-01-26 02:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Okay, hmmm. Blonde jokes. Here goes.

There were three women marooned on a desert island with no hope of rescue. There was a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. One day, they were on the beach when a bottle was washed ashore. Upon opening the bottle, a genie appeared and told them that each of them would have one wish granted.

The brunette said " I miss my husband and our children and that big house we had in the country. I want to go home." The wish was granted. She was gone

The redhead told the genie "Oh, I miss my boyfriend, my parents and that snazzy little apartment we had in the city. I reallly want to go home" The wish was granted. She had disappeared as well.

The genie looks over at the blonde who was now crying. "And what wish can make you happy?" he asks.

" I miss my friends!" she wails "And I want them back!" And with that, the two other women reappeared on the island.

2007-01-26 02:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

OK, a blonde and a redhead were sitting in a diner watching the 10 o'clock news. On the news was a man who was about to jump off a building. The redhead said to the blonde,"I bet you 20 dollars that, that man will jump off the building." The blonde agreed to the bet as they continued to watch. The man jumped of the building and died. The redhead then said as the blonde pulled out her wallet, "Keep your money, I watched the same story earlier this morning and knew he was going to jump." The blonde said, "So did I but I didn't think he was going to jump off again."



what a blonde says when she opens a box of cheerios....."LOOK! doughnut seeds!"


how to keep a blonde entertained:

scroll down
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scroll up

2007-01-26 13:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by cheerio_93 2 · 0 0

there was a blonde that went into a hairdressers. she sat down to get her hair cut. just as the hair dresser was about to cut her hair she realized that the blonde had headphones in her ears. when she asked her to take them out she refused but in the end she had to. about 3 minutes later the blonde fell over. while people were helping her the hairdresser had a listen to what was on the blondes MP3. and it was the weirdest thing

you know what it said

"breath in......and out.......breath in.......and out......"

how was that??

2007-01-26 02:27:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! I am blonde also but still like the jokes

2007-01-26 02:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says:

> "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
and I
> can't figure out how to get it started."
>
> Boyfriend asks:
>
> "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
>
> Blonde says:
>
> "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
>
> Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in
> and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
>
> He studies the pieces for a moment, looks at the box, then turns to
her
> and
> says:
>
> "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
> assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
>
> Then he takes her hand and says:
>
> "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea,
>
> and then........" he sighs
......
......

......

......


> let's put all these Frosties back in the box."

2007-01-26 02:19:11 · answer #9 · answered by Rachael H 5 · 7 0

Why did the blonde change her baby's diaper once a week?

The box said "Up to 20 pounds"

2007-01-26 02:16:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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