Last week, in a moment of vulnerability and maybe desporation, I cheated on my bf. I said no more than once, yet I let the guy continue (there was no sex). It took me a day to gain the courage to tell him, but I told him everything. He was away on business when it happened, and he left a day after I told him. I told him Monday, he left Wed and he wont be back till Tues. He seemed somewhat okay on Tues and yesterday, but this morning was bad. He can't get the images of me and this other a**hole out of his head. Unfortunately, I work with this guy and I would be more than willing to quit if that's what my bf needed. I will do anything to win him back. We had a stronger relationship than most married couples. I dont understand really why it happened, but I just need to fix it. I love him more than anything. We were going to get engaged soon too. Right now, I just need some help for him. I just want to help him get through this. I could care less about myself. Thank you for your help
2007-01-26 02:04:30 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You cant fix it! He doesn't trust you anymore and with good reason. If you couldn't control yourself then, why should he think you will the next time? There will be a next time!
2007-01-26 02:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by Adrienne C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your relationship is doomed to be an emotional roller coaster from the time you decided to cheat. You must not respect ur b/f, oh u may THINK that u do, but u don't. Do NOT get engaged to him u WILL cheat again. U will have umtine "reasons/excuses" of why/how/blagh blagh blagh. This does NOT make u a SLUT. This makes u messed up in ur thinking. Get therapy for URSELF, fix YOU first. Your b/f may leave you, you will over come that in time. HE will NEVER b able to forget the image u gave him. YOU gave HIM. U were very selfish for doing what u did & even more so by telling him about it. You just wanted to get the guilt off ur shoulders so u can say "BUT i told him". Let the guy go, u WILL cheat again. Find a man u respect & love. A man whom u find so appealing, generous, caring, loving, etc that u would NEVER even let urself be put in a place where u MIGHT cheat. Cause, honey, u f*cked this relationship up! It's not about what u or he deserves either. It's about will power. To do what u know is right b/c u have made a commitment & ur IN love with that person. It might take u several years of cheating on every one ur with b4 u realize that "confession" of ur sin to "him" is NOT ok. U can profess ur appologies til he dies but it will NEVER take that image out of his head. I have the image my man gave to me 8 months ago & I can NOT get it OUT...it is ultimately the END when u do something like that...just don't know when the END is yet. You'll do it again & again til u get therapy & learn why u do it & how to stop it.
2007-01-26 02:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by luv2bake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being honest is a good thing, but somethings are better left unsaid. I am not undermining your cheating, but we all have make horrible mistakes in our lives, and if we really are remorseful and can come to terms of not repeating that mistake, then revealing the truth to the other person has no benefits but to just create pain. The guilt got to you so what you did was to try to make YOURSELF feel better by telling him about you cheating. Now he is going around with this unnecessary pain. You put your relationship in jeopardy by cheating, and you do have some soul searching to do as to where your loyalties are before you even become engaged. Marriage is a serious commitment between two people, and it requires much sacrifice and maturity to make it work. He may not ever forgive you. Hopefully you give him the respect and time to work this out within himself. I am so sorry this is happening to you both.Best of wishes to you.
2007-01-26 02:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't too happy or else you wouldn't have went somewhere else. You can say whatever you want, but something that you were not getting from your boyfriend made you run to the other man. If your man can't get the image of you and another guy out of his head, you can kiss that relationship good-bye. There is no fixing it now. I hope this will be a learning experience for you for the next man you choose to give your heart to. If you are truely happy, you don't go outside of the relationship. Thank you and good luck.
2007-01-26 02:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not much you can do. Just avoid him and avoid seeing her, don't look at the picture anymore don't look him up facebook or wherever else then soon the image will fade. Sorry for the pain. It must hurt a lot. but the pain will go in time especially if you avoid him and her and pictures of them. Avoidance is the key.
2016-05-24 01:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes complete honesty is not the best thing. I don't understand why you told him; not so much as a trust thing, but you know what you did was wrong whether is was just sex, or no sex or however you want to look at this thing. You should've thought more about him from the get-go. The thing about it is it wasn't about you no-way; if he leaves you then that will teach you a good lesson because you were thinking about yourself, you were feeling bad and wanted to relieve your mind only to mess his up.
2007-01-26 02:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by nikkole_77 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i understand how you feel inside i have cheated once on an ex of mine. and i kept saying how much i loved him and all theese things. but really if you love him so much then you would of never done it. even tho you said no. doesnt matter you eventually gave in. you lucky your man still talks to you. i begged the guy i cheated on for like 2 weeks straight and he eventually took me back and we continued to date for 2 years.. but the thing is is that there was no trust. he didnt trust me for obvoious reasons and i didnt trust him b/c i was scared he was going to get me back. i think that you and your man should really sit down and talk about what you need to do. in some cases ppl actually get back together and get married but from here on out things will never be the same btwn you too. karma is a ***** and it will come back around.
2007-01-26 02:15:10 · answer #7 · answered by robyngold1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look you SILLY B*tch, There is nothing you can do to get that image out of his head .You sound like a dam* fool to say you even love him. Stop playing with his mind and let him find someone who can be faithful to him. If you want to be a ho, be a ho. But dont get other people feelings involed in your sh*t. You wrong. People get killed over STUPID B*TCHES like you. Thats real talk, from a real NI**A.
2007-01-26 02:19:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! i have been cheated on before and i still dont understand why you would do that! if you loved him you wouldnt have dont it! how would you feel if he was unfaithful to you!? but as for now just give him space and let him be. If he still wants you back in the end, he will come back but you got to prove to him you love him.
2007-01-26 02:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by kevin r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13, so by all means, if you think this response is stupid, well, that's fine by me. Haha. Anyhow.
You slipped up. It happens to the best of us. It sounds like you really love him. So, make him realize that. You shouldn't even have to quit your job. If he wants you enough, he'll simply trust you. He might be hurt, but over time he'll get over it.
2007-01-26 02:31:34 · answer #10 · answered by Vshak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once those images are in your mind, it's like their branded there. The only thing you can do is pray for Him. His mind and your mind needs to be renewed in the Bible. Ask God to take away those images in both yours and His mind. This is not an overnight process, it may take time. So be patient with him. You broke his and it takes time for trust be regained, and it may take time for his heart to heal.
2007-01-26 02:30:25 · answer #11 · answered by unknown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋