I feel sad. Like he died or something. He won't stop, he laughs at me when i ask for respect. I now am going to follow through by missing family get togethers. I feel sad. Did I do the right thing? He makes fun of me and picks on me in front of other family, in front of my kids, and alone. He won't stop wrestling with my kids when they say 'stop' or 'ouch'.. and when I tell him to stop, he doesn't. When stand up for myself or my kids, he lashes out at me and calls me names like stubborn, sensitve, serious, etc. He argues with me over my decisions in life as if I owe him an explaination. I have wrote him a letter because he wont' listen to me in person. He wrote a sarasctic email back, basically saying that I am wrong (again.. sigh). So I told him that we won't be attending family functions until he can respect bounderies... Did I do the right thing. He won't give in, I am sure.. .and if he does, he will never like me again.. we were kinda close when I played by his rules..
2007-01-26 01:50:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are soo right/ if you dont stick up for your kids and yourself nobody will.and if your brother can not abide by your rules than cut him lose. you can do without him
2007-01-26 02:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother needs help. Any situation, caused by anyone that distresses you or your children needs to be addressed. Keep to your decision, as it is a good one, and to back down would make matters even worse. I find it especially bothersome that he "wrestles" with your children and doesn't stop when they cry out - that is not normal. When there is to be a family function, don't sit at home and dwell on it, take the kids to the park or a movie and replace that time with something fun and up building for you all. After a period of time, the family will see that you mean business, and odds are he will turn his abusive ways to another easy victim within the family. He won't be able to keep all that ugliness inside for long. Let someone else taste is nastiness. I would also take an aggressive move, and if possible block him from being able to email you and also from your phone. Since he will not respect proper boundaries, I would put them up for him.
2007-01-26 10:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by buggsnme2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. you don't need to be abused this way when you clearly told him to stop - and this happens in front of your kids. This will have a very negetive effect on them if you don't put your foot down. By doing that you are teaching your kids to defend themselves and not become victims when they are adults.
Also, your brother does not seem to care about what you say or how you feel - it is unforunate that you and your kids will miss the entire family gatherings because of one person. Is it possible to go there anyway and totally ignore him - or perhaps pick and choose the events you want to attend.
what do other family members say? Do you have their support? If so maybe all of you can allieante him and see if that will put some brains in his head.
2007-01-26 09:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by Centered 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's unfortunate but the only way to get rid of a bully is to stand up to him. I think you have done the right thing and you will probably be better off without him even though you will miss him. There is a good chance that someday he will see the error of his ways and come back to being your friend/brother when he realizes what he has lost. Good luck.
2007-01-26 10:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by Poohcat1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You so did the right thing. I know it hurts like hell to because its like you are your kids are being punished. But if he cant respect you and your children than he doesnt deserve to be given the chance to be around your family. Remember its a privlege for him to be a part of your familys life. Keep your head up and shame on your parents or other adults for not backing you up on how he treats you and your family.
2007-01-26 10:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mom0f6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done the right thing. Make sure you explain this to your children. His job as your brother is to protect you and help you. He has done a great disservice to both you and your entire family.
2007-01-26 10:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing for you and your kids. I want to know where is the rest of the family? Don't they defend or help you?
2007-01-26 10:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you did good, girl. if someone put you in a position of 'let me treat you how I see fit.... or else I will think you are a witch'.... that person shouldn't be in your life
2007-01-26 11:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋