I haven't seen my parents, brother or sister for over 2 years. I have seen my mother once. My mom and I communicate through email sometimes - when important family things happen. My parents play games and they show a lot of favoritism. I couldn't take the hurt and pain of how they treat me and my family any more. It hurt more having them in my life than it does by not having them in my life. I'm married and have 2 grown sons and 1 son who's 13. I also have 1 grandson. But I still feel like a manipulated child when I'm around them and that is how they treat me. I feel sad about walking away and wish I could be involved and included. I've tried everything and nothing has worked.
2007-01-26 01:15:29 · 13 answers · asked by minnie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i feel the same as you. i found walking away great. you must do what makes you happy. if your not getting any respect from them maybe one day they will realise that they miss you and that they should have treated you better. its a really hard thing to do but in your own words they are toxic. you get your love and respect from your own family.they had there chance
2007-01-26 01:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by ms sensible 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say YES!
I haven't ever heard of "Love" being "The Right" to Abuse 1 child over another "Sibling."
It is better to walk away, than to suffer and be "a punching-bag" for them!
Remember this; You didn't ask to be their child; nor did you ask to be a "door-mat, punching-bag, and HATED!"
You are not "The Looser" for walking away and saving yourself from anymore ABUSE; They ARE!
They are "The Loosers" who are "Missing-Out" on you and your family(Husband & Kids).
The day will come when they will have to depend on someone like you; but you will not be there for them because THEY "Burned-Down" all of "The Bridges" that you tried to "Build" so you could be with them! Then they will realize that they had "A Good Thing," that they let slip through their fingers; And it is gone for good!
Don't "Fret or Regret!"
You have your FAMILY!
Your Husband, Kids, and Grandchild, "Love and Value" you as "The Best Thing" they could have!!!
Be "Proud" of that and Love Them with all of your Heart!
In "The Past" when we "Married" we were supposed to "Foresake All" and "Cling" to our Spouse, so that NOTHING would Destroy our "Bond"(Marriage) and Future Family(Kids)!
Isn't that still our Family? Daddy(Husband), Kids, and now Grandkids?
You are "Blessed" to have so many in your life that Love you- Granny!!!
Cherrish Them, and Good Luck; It'll all "work-out' in the long run!
2007-01-26 01:43:15 · answer #2 · answered by 1moe4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've tried everything, and guess what, then you are right to walk away. It's not you, it's them, and if you feel worse around them, and it's better for you and your kids to NOT be around your parents, then make that decision and stick to it. I know you feel sad, I would too, but you should also feel proud that you were strong enough to do what was right for your kids, so that one day they don't want to walk away from you! (just because you feel sad doesn't mean you need to change anything, it just means that you feel SAD, and it shows that you are a caring and loving person, nothing more, nothing less)
2007-01-26 01:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hold onto your hat! I don't think you're the only one who has this kind of problem. Just don't be interested in their manipulation, don't leave yourself as a prey for them in their dysfunctional state.
Instead just do small things that are good. Do the things that when love returns it will find you there waiting. God is over their heads, and God is under their feet. And eventually, God will straighten out the ground, remove the clouds from their minds, and love will dawn on them. And they will be new people. Let's wait patiently for that day and try not to feel too badly, that some of the people we love can't be with us now. Because one day there will be nothing that will seperate us from love and from one another. Because nothing can seperate us from the God who loves us. He has a zealous love, a kind and compassionate love, and has your name written on the tablet of his heart. "Take my hand, precious Lord, take my hand."
2007-01-26 01:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by QueryJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation and I just go around my family on special occasions and try to keep my mouth shut. You can try talking to them but I'm sure you probably already have. If you feel like it is best to stay away from them then you should go with your feelings rather than getting into a big fight or being downgraded when you are with them.
2007-01-26 01:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by DL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you already have walked away. Don't try anything.
You have to remember one thing. Don't be like them. They are a very good example of a bad example. Unfortunately, they are your parents, there will always be ties, but you don't have to deal with them or get involved in their drama. Once a month send a email or letter and update them on your family----don't tell them your problems, and that is it.
Sounds like you have your life together with your family, just keep parents and husband and children seperate.
2007-01-26 01:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by holeeycow 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This may sound weird, but I saw this twilight zone episode once where the guy faked his own death, just to see the turnout, then he nailed them with a surprize entrance. as weird as it may sound, it just might work. sadly though a lot of family's are this way, mine for one, all except for my mom. to me the best way to get at them is through GUILT it's a very strong emotion, try as many ways as possible to make them feel shitty about the way they treat you, make the best of your life, and don't repeat any thing the've done and everything will be just fine, just LOVE your family!
2007-01-26 02:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by WURSTNGHTMARE61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? You are old enough to know what is poison in your life, if it is family then walk away. You have your own little family who you can shower love on and get it back, no strings attached. You owe it to yourself to enjoy your life. Don't feel guilty, you didn't cause this, they did. Good luck and go hug your grandchild....
2007-01-26 01:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that.
Like you, the only way I found out of the problem was to get on with my life and leave them behind. I've never regretted it.
2007-01-26 01:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
properly I even have had an truly undesirable uti as quickly as I went pee i became pissing blood....then I went to the well being care expert and found out it led to an truly undesirable kidney an infection.....do you have cranberry juice drink it...will help until you will get to the well being care expert....it must be poisonous marvel too yet I ain't particular.
2016-11-27 19:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by merriweather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋