My man (of 3 months @ the time) said he brought me all these lovely things for xmas...i brought him something and gave it to him...2 weeks later i still hadnt got my pres, so i got a bit agitated..he then todl me it was all a test to see if iwas a golddigger, and that i had passed!!!! i was so angry he thought i wanted him for his money...
After all that he aplogised, and said he would take me shopping. i refused and said "lets just not do gifts in the future"...anyway, it came to the day he woulda took me shopping and he said he wanted 2 go into town..
low and behold he brought me some expensive perfume (nearly a month after xmas!"
so my question to you is... (mostly men or woman who have been with men who play these games)
- why do men play tricks like this..and isit common?
- if a woman doesnt react what does that say, and vice versa
- and in my story why did he end up buying me something, isit because i didnt show care for it
- what other tricks do u guys do?xx
2007-01-26 01:14:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i had a feeling it was lack of money too, but he would stil ltake me out to bars and clubs and pay for taxis..so i doubt it
2007-01-26 01:26:46 · update #1
haha these answers r really good, some of them i'm laughing out loud! thanks...
hmm interesting! he does have a big family and kids from a previous relationship. i could understand if he was broke but he just didnt SEEM broke..if he was i would totally understand...
2007-01-26 01:44:40 · update #2
In my experience, no good ever comes out a relationship like this; it is not common, but it is not extremely rare either.
Men like this usually have control issues and love the drama. They want to see how far they can push you and the more you put up with, the more they will try to push you even farther.
He ended up buying something to keep you coming back for more...showing you that if he pulls some lame-brained stunt that you just need to be patient with him and he will make it up to you afterward.
The games range from being rude and inconsiderate, like saying he has a present when he didn't and then saying it was a "test", to going online in to porno chat rooms from your computer and when you catch him and contront him about is, he will say he was just trying to get tips on how to please you, to picking up girls in clubs when he goes out with the guys and then ask them to call him at your home just to get a rise out of you and tell you he only wanted to make you jealous so you would see how valuable he really is.
2007-01-26 01:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life's too short to play games* Perhaps he was in a previous relationship and is alot more cautious this time around. He put you through a test .......is it "tests" you want in your relationship? I wouldn't. He seems to have "trust' issues*
Saying gifts in the future is now a No No for you both was a good start....buying you the perfume a month later was a nice gesture..but not sure what this guy's all about.....Sit down and talk with him...say you're not like the other women he dated and you don't like those kinds of games* GoodLuck*
2007-01-26 01:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys sometimes do. It is hard sometimes to see whether a girl/woman is actually genuine. It's sometimes like with girls trying to test out boys (although issues are not on the same level).
I have seen girls who are actual gold diggers and they are really hard to see through. Girls aren't transparent and we are not psychic.
It does hurt.
He bought you that present because he wasn't looking around during Christmas or November (probably because it's cheaper in January). If you were a gold digger, he would have broke off with you days into the New Year and what he bought for you beforehand would have been pointless.
If he took over a month to give it to you, then he must have been looking.
To answer your questions:
men play tricks like this because of the reasons outlined above. It is as common as many rich insecure guys (in other words, it depends)
If a woman reacts, it means she is genuine. If not, then we would wonder.
He ended up buying something for you because of what was mentined above (it isn't as complex as you not showing care for it, although I don't see how that fits in with what you are saying).
We have many tricks up our sleeves, although not as many as when girls testing out boys (although debatable whether any of them are effective or not). The only way to see whether he will pull anymore tricks is dependant on whether you show a bit of evidence that you are genuine from time to time. Don't show him too much security hough; you wouldn't want to kill the atmosphere.
2007-01-26 01:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He either forgot or was waiting until he had the money. Get over it, The worst thing you can do is make him feel bad because of his financial situation. Some men would rather have you think it is a game than admit he did not have the money at the time.
However, it does not sound like either of you are ready to commit to a serious exclusive relationship.
2007-01-26 01:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some how I don't think you could pull off the bottle of water. I am a good judge of "Toilet Humor" but I fail to see the outcome as being funny I'm sorry. I just think you'll get your butt kicked. If you did it to a friend it could be funny total stranger no not funny.
2016-05-24 01:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by Winifred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definately had no money.
If he still took you out to bars its becuase it DIRECTLY benefitted him!
He was getting something out of it, whereas a gift for you would be seen as a waste and he wouldnt be able to go out.
If he thought you were a gold digger and all he bought you was perfume then he really doesnt have any Gold to dig hun!
2007-01-26 01:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gold-digger indeed-and you fell for that? Really?Oh please!!!
He told you he was buying loads of stuff to guarantee himself a pressie. And a good one at that.
He was taking you out because he wanted to go out himself and so that was a 'constructive' use of his money.
Buying a present for you was not a 'constructive' use of his money because it didn't directly benefit him.
When you threw one, however, his buying you a present DID directly benefit him-in as much as he doesn't want to be dumped anyway-so it then became a 'constructive' use of his money so he bought you something.
See?
Moral of story...don't date selfish men-and this guy would appear to be just that.
2007-01-26 01:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he didnt have the money and used it as an excuse thats why it took him a month to get it
2007-01-26 01:21:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you serious? That was an awful stunt to pull! Any man that pulled something like that with me would have been given his P45 asap. Like he should have had those presents for you - he could have given them to you AFTER you gave him his - and if he didnt have the money - he should have kept his mouth shut.
xx
2007-01-26 01:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could have been your guys way to find out if u wanted to be with him or someoneone with money
it dose matter to some people including me
i want someone to like me for me not how much money i have in the bank lol. but i think he should have bought you a present
think of you feelings and not just his own. lol jp
2007-01-26 01:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by johnc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋