i just got an email from my dad this morning and a few lines made me think he really never wanted kids.
"you guys are my kids, a part of my life but not my life, i don't life for my kids, i live for me"
"it's your choice to be in my life now and if you ***** me over i can cut you out without missing a beat"
that's not how a father should think is it?
2007-01-25 23:48:37 · 11 answers · asked by Back*To*Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i'm 20 now, i left the house the first time at 17, then came back this past october for a month and he hadn't changes so i moved out again.
2007-01-26 00:03:39 · update #1
my father and i don't get along at all and i was trying to mend it and that's what i got. i told him i miss when i was a kid and his world and that's what he responded with.
2007-01-26 00:04:41 · update #2
the thing is i always think there's a chance for him to be different cuz he'll call me and say he's matured alot since i first left and then i come back to mend the relationship and he had lied and hadn't changed. he's had dfs (department of family services) on him a few times and none of which were by me. once was by a bf of mine when i left because he choked me for being home late after prom and the other was from a teacher that saw that i had a black eye and didn't beleive i got in a fight... i'm not that type of girl but i tried to hide it. i know he can't be perfect but one day i want him to walk me down the aisle and be proud of me and who i am and what i've become.
2007-01-26 00:34:44 · update #3
Tell him the feeling is mutual...don't ever *****. you over. Tell him he taught you well, you were watching when he thought you weren't looking.
2007-01-26 00:19:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I told you yesterday when I read your email that he might still be hurting from before. At least he responded. Maybe he needs to vent a little, take it slow. You need to quit worrying about what "a father should think" or who's right and wrong, and either accept him the way he is or move on. You know what he's like, he's not going to change, so you either take what you can get, or stop trying. You aren't going to change him, you aren't going to tell him he's wrong and then him say, "oh honey, you are right." not if all this history has gone on between the two of you. If you are looking for him to aplogize and come begging for your love, I think perhaps he is beyond that, he's basically telling you, don't expect that from me. YOU NEED TO LET IT GO.....accept him the way he is. If you want a life, you need to learn how to put the past behind you and forge ahead. Ask yourself this question, do you want to be right, or do you want some type of relationship with your Dad?
2007-01-26 00:25:36 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a very unhappy and angry man. This has nothing to do with you or your siblings. He is upset with himself.
He is selfish but can't help it.
He has been disappointed with life as it has been handed to him.
The thing is , he can change it if he wanted to, but i don't think he has the tools to do it or the faith in himself.
He is to be pitied, for he is missing the true life a father can have. He is not ready to do this and unfortunately he might never be.
He makes it really hard to love him, cause he won't let your near him.
He has chosen to just put up with his life instead of being part of it.
You and you siblings are so worth it, don't ever think you aren't.
He is incapable of loving you the way you should be.
You have to forgive him and accept the fact it is impossible for him to do at this point in his life.
Fortunately he has ruined your spirit and you still ound strong and that you ae still fighting.
This is really important for you to continue on...
Be the best you can be, and don't worry about his for now, worry about yourself.
You choose to live life and be happy.
2007-01-26 00:55:25 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you have done, that he is hurting/upset over? it did not warrant what he typed.... you should ask forgiveness... and it should end there... a parent should be the first to show what "love is" kind, patient, bears all things.... endures, hopes... is never resentful... never boastful.... not irritable....
I am not saying that anyone (child, parent, or friend) has a right to walk all over another with the "excuse" of "but love is not....." but he is wrong....
if it were anyone other than a father, I would say this person is not kind and is not deserving of you attempting to mend the rift? but... we each only get one father... and mother.... and we should always keep trying because that is love.....
hope this helps.... and good luck
2007-01-26 00:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a child of his has "rubbed" him the wrong way ..and perhaps he's feeling a bit used.....
He's drawing a line stating that he loves you ... but his whole world will not be controlled by his kids...... Your part of his life ....
See who Pis--d in his Wheaties and beat that sibling !
Good Luck !
2007-01-26 00:01:54 · answer #5 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a bitter old f*ck. Cut the cord with him, and let him die alone. He's a loser. I would never say something like that to my kids. Sorry you have a father like that. That's just not cool.
2007-01-26 00:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an a**hole...you know that already...put some space between you...lots of it! No one says you have to have your relatives in your life. That is your choice. If you stuck your hand in fire and got burned, would you stick it in again and again to see if you got different results?
2007-01-26 00:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by dreamgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well normally a person doesn't just wake up one morning and decide to send one of his kids an email like that so i feel like we are not getting the whole story here. did you do something to cause him to feel this way??????
2007-01-26 00:06:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he had a rough day at work. Make dinner for him or run some bath water for him.
2007-01-26 00:02:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes sure but maybe he has a problem that makes him says that and may be he doesn't mean it but surly he loves you.
2007-01-26 01:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by Nada K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋