I'm so fed up with life..I'm in my mid twenties, and ever since I've turned 20 life has been an uphill battle.. I graduated from college, hated my career, got in serious credit card debt, father passed away unexpectantly, and now living with my Mom while working on another degree.. I have very few friends, and the ones I do are an hour away or more.. I feel like I missed the boat, while everyone is having a house a family, and career. I'm just stuck. Ihave no one to talk to. My mom breaks down and cries everytime I say I'm sad... she's like why I don't have a good life either. I went thru the depression bit, was on meds for two years and then gained 60 ibs.. i feel i don't have a good support network, and I'm afraid it won't get better.. i feel like i'm destined to be unhappy the rest of my life.. what if I don't like the next career, I just want to be happy..it's like I can't get off this merry go round
2007-01-25 22:54:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
when i lost my dad 3 years ago, it scrambled me up right good. you are at a time where you need direction and advise from some one you trust... we all go to parents when we need advice, and maybe you are missing your dad's influence and presence in that area.
maybe some grief counselling and career counseling would help you.
your mom isnt able to empathize with you at this point because of her grieving process... find friends that have gone through it and rely on them.
as much as you are in pain right now, the grieving process does get better and your life does settle and make sense again. time is all it takes.
i'll give you access to my email if you would like it ... let me know.
take care
2007-01-25 23:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by maggiemae821 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot on your plate and it seems that you are totally overwhelmed with your circumstances that you don't know where to start, plus the grief from your father dying must make everything seem so much worse. Take a deep breath and step back from the problems and then take one issue at a time and deal with that individually.
1. Call your credit card company and work out a repayment plan that you can afford, they will accept even a small amount, such as £20 a month.
2. Get your degree out of the way and start looking for work you WILL enjoy, only apply for jobs that you think you will like.
3. Get a new active hobby, you will meet new people in your local area and also lose weight as well, and your social life will blossom as you meet new local people.
4. Get some grief counselling for you and your mum, you can go together for this and support each other.
You won't be unhappy if you tackle one problem at a time, each small victory takes you closer to the big victory of gaining control of your life.
2007-01-25 23:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES you can get off. You are still so young. You are in your mid twenties. I am sorry about the lose of your father. Your career. Well first off pick something you like. Don't pick a career because of the pay. Money is NOT everything. I will use myself as an example. I was in my forties before I ever even owned my home. Until then I rented an apartment. I didn't get into a serious relationship until my mid to late thirties and got married in my very early forties. So until I met my wife I was dating and going to bed with whoever happened to be my date. So slow down pick a career you want to work in and take it from there. Every will come to pass, and look at a male as a friend and don't worry so much about the boyfriend end. IT WILL come believe me. Good Luck. You sound like a very nice young lady.
2007-01-25 23:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all part of this thing we call life. I am 31 and feel and the same way at times. It is just something you have to work through yourself. You should take up a hobby of doing something you really like to do. It will take some time off your hands and keep your mind off your mind. I do boxing and martial arts. Its a very good stress reliever. I also find it great to write my thoughts down on paper whenever I get upset about and feel like im going to go over the edge. Afterwards it feels like the stress has left a bit and is easier to deal with.Life will get better I promise. Just hang in there.
2007-01-25 23:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by bribri75 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have alot to be happy about. You graduated college. That's more than I've done because I can't afford it, and you are in college again. Stop beating yourself up. If you don't like your career, who cares. As long as you have the degree, you will get hired by another place. That's no big deal. Try and be thankful for what you have. In your whole life, you will only find less than 5 true friends anyways. Enjoy living with your mom. Sounds like she could use your support as much as you can use hers. Things will get better. You are only in your twenties. You have your whole life ahead of you. Good luck, and keep smiling, it helps.
2007-01-25 23:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by bostonchick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is live your life and try to look at the positives in it,everyone has the same feelings as you at one time or another so dont feel like your the only one just wake up in the morning take a deep breath and try to do things that make you happy throughout the day. There arent any easy answers to life :) Good Luck
2007-01-25 23:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by JOHN D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'll be direct. Some might call me rude.
You got your youth. you got your life. Millions of others are dying, today. oops there went a few thousand.
You graduated from college. Now you are set to make at LEAST 25K anywhere.
Your mom is alive, and you are able to live with her.
You got a job. In today's economy, there it is.
You feel like you don't have a good support network, all your friends are hours away. Make new friends.
Stop whining about how tough you got it.
Your father is gone, you are not daddy's little girl anymore, he's not able to take care of you.
People in New Orleans lost a city, lots of people crime is rampant, and they are hiring teachers there, 32K to start, Plus looking for homes for these teachers to live in.
Wake up. People are dying on foreign sands so that you can walk around free to live your life, to choose your fate, to make things happen, and all you want to do is whine about how tough you have things.
You want to be happy? Decide to be happy. There is no happy card in the deck of life, dealt at random. You are happy when you decide to live on happy street, in happy city, in a happy house because that's what you want to do.
Don't ask "Why me?"
Ask "What's good in my life?" "What are three things I am proud to have accomplished?"
Go to church. No, go to a graveyard, and realize all those people No Longer Have The Power of Decision in their (former) life.
2007-01-25 23:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
understand all that. that is important but not enough to comment on. you see, other than gaining 60 pounds and taking antidepressants (?) something else is harming your self image. i cannot imagine what that might be. you are leaving something out of the equation. maybe you don't even know yourself. well, you should find out and if you cannot do it alone you will need a really good counselor and/or therapist. i feel bad too but i know why. i had to fight the denial and deal with reality. hope you can overcome your denial in an accurate, rational way. isolating is certainly not the way. you need honest feedback to help yourself get past the denial and move forward with reality. that is how you will get rid of the depression to a reasonable degree and live in the real world. you are presently a functional sick person in denial. don't trust the first thing that pops into your mind.
2007-01-25 23:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is what you make it my friend.
You want to make it better you are going to have to step back and doing some serious reflection on it.
E-mail me sometime and we can talk, if you need a "big" brother on that. I'm like twice ur age but mabye can give u some ideas.
Friends are not hard to make but you have to start with what you like. The trick is to hang around with people with like interests.
Were your meds perscribed? If not you should most definately see a doctor to make sure your depression is not medical.
Chow.
As for your mom crying? Pretty normal for her to love you.
(As for weight loss? Eesh. Well obvious food is you "friend" but you can try the G.I. Diet which is healthy. Also consider weight watchers as a place to find friends. Please stay away from unhealthy diets like Atkins. The G.I. is recommended by several heart surgeons)
2007-01-25 23:10:57 · answer #9 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about a new hobby? I started getting into riding atv"s on the and dunes in Oregon and have changed my life forever because of it. I meet new people , go on groups rides with total strangers and be best Friends by the time we were done. I'm not saying that this hobby would be the best for you but just a new thing to get your mind off all the negative thoughts that are plaguing your mind.
2007-01-25 23:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by STK FLKR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋