PLEASE!!! SOMEONE ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!! How Do I get Her To Open Up To me?

Question

The other night my best friends little sister who is 23 and I 27, were watch a movie at my place together. My house is very big and creepy at night. Long story short I got a dim-witted idea to pull a prank on her (like we always do!), by scaring her once she got back from my bathroom. So when she was walking down the darkened hall I jump out and scared the crap out of her! She punched me in the chest and stormed off. I laughed, thinking it was funny at the time…until I followed her into the living room and realized she was crying really badly. I was extremely shocked because she NEVER cries! Well not when anyone is watching. Well I posted a previous question relating to this one yesterday…I got a lot of good answer. However everybody told me to talk to her and find out why she was really crying but to be honest I don’t know how to go about it. Every time I ask her why, she tells me without making eye contact “I don’t know.” And tries to change the subject…we both know that there was another reason for her crying but she won’t say. I really do care about her… I could pressure her into telling me but I don’t want to make her cry once more. She seems to be unusually vulnerable from the other night.

How do I get her to open up to me, and tell me the truth, without making things worse?

I would just leave it alone however I really think it's something that's bothering her very much. It was just the way she cried hysterically for an hour with a really frightened look in her eyes.

I know it doesn’t make up for the stupid thing I did but... I did hold her in my lap and stroked her back and hair until she stopped.

She says she's not angry with me.

I have apologized a million times

Answer 1

You really do sound like you care about her and you seem to own your actions. That's a start. Questioning her for her to honestly reveal how she feels, and she doesn't. . .mmm. I think you might really have to figure out what kind of relationship you really have with her. I know that might sound a bit questionable, but that will be the starting base to your conversations with her while truly understanding who she is. You need to speak from your heart and she needs to hear it along with sincerity in your voice and choice of words. Maybe you need to open up to her first so she can open up to you. Never forget the word TRUST and RESPECT. I know that's vague, but you will know what I mean as your relationship unfolds. Good luck! =)

Answer 2

i think you have 2 options -
1. you just really scared the living cr ap out of her, and it really upset her to the point that it looked like there was something wrong other than that. in that case, all you can do is forget about it, or find a way to make it up to her.
2. there actually is something wrong, and the scare was the trigger for letting her get some of it off her chest. if it is a big deal to her, i dont think you can avoid any more tears. but if you care about her and want to help her, tell her you are there for her, and she can talk to you (i'm sure you already have). be a little persistent with her. if she trusts you, she will eventually tell you about it. but if she doesnt want to talk, then leave it. but be patient.

Answer 3

Maybe she was some how abused in the dark, when she was younger. This doesn't mean sexualy abused, there are many ways to do it, e.g., she might have been punished and locked up in a dark room. Any way, she will not tell you about. You have 2 options:
1.- Never touch the matter, and begin slowly to build a relation with her, day by day, gaining her trust. Maybe one day you may abord the subject again.
2.- You may tell her you are worried, saying you think she might have a problem with dark, and telling your own interpretation, maybe the one I posted.

I think option 1 is better, and you may also do both, wating a lot after going on option 2.

Answer 4

You can force anyone to open up and tell you whats wrong, in fact you will do more damage than good that way. All you can do is tell her that you care and that you are here if she ever wants to talk and no matter what you wont judge her, but help her and support her to the best you are able. Then leave it at that put the ball in her court, may not do a lot on the outside but inside it will mean a lot to her.

Answer 5

Look dont apologise for something that do did like that its not your problem she is a fruit loop , its a prank just dont make a big deal out of it say look its a prank dont take it too serious .

Ask her how she felt , i personaly think she felt threatend and actually thought it was a real threat it might of brought up memories from the past etc .

Just leave it dont drag the issue out i mean she also beat you up :) , so i guess your even .

Answer 6

Why don't you write her a nice card or note. Tell her you hope she is really not mad at you, but that you suspect she has had a bad experience and you would like to help her with it. It may work, or she may really JUST have been freaked out. Us gals tend to get emotional about dumb stuff sometimes, which you guys just don't get.

I also have a suspicion that this girl may have a thing for you, and you hurt her feelings by "hurting" her like that. If you have deeper feelings for this girl, I suggest you come clean with her. You may be in for a surprise! Good luck with this tho, and STOP doing stunts like that - we gals are usually not impressed !

Answer 7

she's probably hurt because being so close to you and being very comfortable in your company she expected to feel safe in your house so when you scared her it unsettled her enough to ruin a well established feeling of security. plus the fact that she probably fancies you and is embarrassed as hell about getting scared in front of you - i hate it if someone manages to frighten me as a joke, especially if I look up to them. if there is something more sinister at bay, for example you may have triggered off old memories of a bad experience, then you need to be supportive and give her time to open up - you can't force someone to open up to you especially when you have just recently made them feel vulnerable. why don't you take her to one side - offer a really sincere apology, and then leave it at that. if you're good friends like you say then she'll open up soon. if you continue to worry about her you could talk to her brother and discretely suggest that she's not her usual self. let us know what is up coz i'm curious now!

Answer 8

I think you need to give her some time. I know if someone pushed me for answers i just put up a brick wall. Make sure she knows that you are sorry for what you did and tell her that if she ever needs to talk to let you know as you want to be there for her. Other that that there is not much you can do. Be patient, she will tell you in her own time.

Answer 9

why dont you ask her to call over to your house tonight or over the weekend - when she gets there apologise about the fright you gave her - put your arm around her and explain that you feel that there was more to it than just that - tell her you hate seeing her upset that way and that you would hate to think that theres nothing she couldnt tell you - that you wont think any less of her - but you've been upset thinking that there is something wrong - if she chooses not to open up after that then theres really not a lot more you can do. xx

Answer 10

well i think that you should take it upon your self to find out if she has had something bad happen to her in the past involving the dark and then take it from there may be apologize and ask if there is some thing going on that may have caused her to react the way that she did if that don't work then i guess you should try to let her simmer down then in about a week ask her again