I have a boyfriend who comes to spend at my place and doesnt have a job? wht shld i do about it?

Question

I am a mother of one kid aged 3yrs, and separated to his dad. I even moved out and living on my own now and my kid is with the grannies(my ma & pa). I met ths guy who we are so in love and he doesnt have a job or a hse. He lives with the brother and since we met we have been staying together and yet not married...am so confused and dont know wht to do about it...whn he is not with me i feel lonely but i wish we could be visiting each other....anytym am alone i get moody and the nxt tym he comes to visit me i dont feel like talking to him.....wht should i do about it? am so worried and i want to be the best for him as we have plans of getting married someday

Answer 1

Job first, unless you plan on supporting your son and a husband.
Be careful not to fall into the trap that you can't be alone, it's better to be alone than be miserable with company.

Answer 2

It sounds like he needs to get a job and save some money before you seriously talk marriage. He is definitely not responsible enough to have a wife and baby yet. Try to get him motivated to find work and a place of his own, Then once he is established, you can think about a life together. I hope that if you got married you would take your child with you. This is another thing to think about. How is he around your child? This is a very important question to ask yourself right now. Will he be a good father figure and supporter for you and your child? Get these things resolved first.

Answer 3

WoW!!! Well I thought MY husband was a mommas boy! You have married yourself to a very immature mommas boy. The bible even says a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife. You can't live as a married couple and make a family if he only wants to be up under his momma forever. Is he still breastfeeding? Maybe thats why he is there all the time LOL. Sorry but for real, you will spend the rest of your marriage in competition with his mother if you don't put a stop to it now. I'm dealing with that now and its a no win situation. I definitely think you need to consider other options and look for a man who is more on your level.

Answer 4

If you are seperated from your husband, then you should be working on ways to get back together with him - or else get a divorce. Spend some time figuring yourself out, doing some things you have always wanted to do but couldn't while you had a husband and child to care for, and go out on a few dates with your husband to remember what you saw in him in the first place, before there was a child to complicate things.

If, however, you are sure that your marriage is over and you have moved on, you must not drag it on and on. Get a divorce before you move on to someone else.

This new guy of yours sounds more like a fling than anything else. He is a welcome distraction from the confusing time you're going through, and may be a vehicle for determining where you are with your husband. But your wavering feelings about your boyfriend indicate that you aren't sure he's right for you either.

Finally, if this were someone who really loved you and wanted to provide for you, he would be working on getting his life in order so he could do exactly that. He would find a job and move out of his brother's home, and most especially not be using a very confused woman to get out of taking care of himself. Move on!

Answer 5

Tell him you would prefer he go out and find a job. Then help him search for one. Don't let him sponge off of you because you are enabling him, as well as his brother, to sit around and not be very responsible in a job search or anything else productive. You don't need an extra mouth to feed, especially with a 3 yr old child.

Answer 6

Learn to be happy even without him,u only find happiness within u,u moody becuz u cant b happy without him,damn gal,
Tell him to move out of yo house,say yo kid is coming over & ask him to get a job,learn to b happy with or without him.

Answer 7

Ask him,comminication is the key, he is also trying to work things out!You need to be secure with your own son in your own home do you have a job?Can you support him ,try training fior a new job,/night school.Give yourself more choices in life.He sounds a nice person.Discuss possible future plans with him.

Answer 8

Does he want the best for you ? no job free loading from you get your life together and get your child back worry about him first , you shouldn't have to support BF, but you should be supporting your child , why is he with your mother and father ? if you can support a Free loader surely you could take your child and support him instead !!!

Answer 9

Tell him to get a job. Give him a reasonable length of time to do so and if he doesn't, kick him out.
You need to get your own life together and don't need a freeloading boyfriend added to the list of problems you have.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like this guy needs a support system. His brother is getting tired of him, so he's going to mooch off of you. Wake up unless you want to pickup after this guy the rest of your life.