My 5 year old daughter is becoming extremely naughty. I have tried every method of discipline ie. confiscating items, rewarding good behaviour, but nothing else seems to work. I have given great thought, and have decided to introduce smacking. I am concerned as I do not know how this would work. If so, then how should this be administerd without causing any upset for the long term? please help!!
2007-01-25 20:41:30 · 22 answers · asked by amber79 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If you tried everything, and your going to give a spanking, you need to do it right. Have her sit in her room for a few minutes to think about what she did. then have a talk about why she is getting a spanking. Then pull down her pants and undies just past her tush (don't strip her or anything just to humiliate) lay her across your lap, and spank her bottom red. Afterwords, allow her to calm down alone on the bed, then go in and have a long talk about her behavior, and how your won't put up with it any longer.
My bottom line on spanking, if your going to do them, make them count. If you use this method, you'll find you don't have to give very many spankings.
email me if you need to vent. I've been there, lol.
Good Luck
2007-01-25 21:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Smacking cannot have come from a great deal of thought. It's simply wrong to use violence for you as an adult to get your child to do what you want her to do.
I've never smacked my daughter and she's now a wonderful, respectful and funny 13 year old. She's also an A grade student.
Consistency is the key, and sticking to your guns. If you make a threat be prepared to do it...children will call your bluff. My daughter knows that what I say goes. There are no misunderstanding of the rules and I've always treated her with respect. Also make sure that the people who help you look after her follow those rules too.
Please don't smack, it is not the answer. My mum smacked me....and I don't have with her the kind of relationship I enjoy with my daughter! If you value your child..not just as YOUR child but as a fellow human being than things will be easy!
2007-01-28 21:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by Stef 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about smacking. If she is naughty,warn her that she will be given ONE chance to stay good and if she cant do that take her to her room and tell her she can stay there until she's got a smile ! If she screams or cries try to take no notice(obviously if she were in danger of hurting herself you would have to intervene) I think you will find that after a few times of having "quiet time" in her room she will get the picture.Good luck, and remember you are re in forcing bad behaviour to her by smacking her, so that's not really an option is it?
2007-01-27 03:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by bevalou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lets distinguish between "smacking" a child and violent child abuse, shall we?
A gentle tap on the backside when a child is being very naughty does no harm. We're not talking about shamelessly beating your child to within an inch of her life!! I was smacked as a child and I am certainly not violent or psychopathic or anything like that!
Another thing my Mum did was make me go to my room for a few minutes (it was less than 5 minutes, but when you're 5 years old it seems like an age!!) and this worked well - I hated being excluded so it really put me off being naughty!!!
Try counting to five before smacking your daughter. If she knows that if she doesn't stop her naughty behaviour by the time you reach five (slowly) then she will get a smack, she will soon learn. You may have to reach five and give her a gentle tap a few times, but as soon as she learns, I bet you wont get past 3!!
Good luck, and don't feel bad about introducing this method that has been used for years! If more parents used this method and instilled discipline into their offspring would we have so many ASBOs?
2007-01-25 21:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by Rae 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
DO NOT 'smack' your daughter unless she has done something EXTREMELY BAD ... if you haven't hit her before, hitting her when she's 5 will cause more 'damage' than it is worth, both to her and to your relationship with her. Get a small stool, place it in a corner, and when she's 'bad' put her on the stool with her face in the corner and tell her that she must stay there for X amount of time ... only one minute the first time, but two minutes the second, and add a minute each and every time she's bad ... it will take awhile, but eventually she'll stop being so naughty because NOBODY LIKES LOOKING AT NOTHING for very long. DO NOT LET HER EVER LEAVE UNTIL HER TIME IS "UP" and tell her that if she starts to 'cry' because she has to sit in the corner she may cry ... but that her 'time out' will not start until she's done crying and is 'being quiet' ...
2007-01-25 21:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kris L 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Smacking is not a popular choice for parents as a discipline method but if you choose to go down that route-as is your right-then you have to obey the golden rule of NEVER smacking in anger as it is totally counter-productive to what you're trying to achieve.
In all honesty at 5yrs old your discipline methods should have been well in place-established at 12months old and employed from that point onwards.
Whatever you choose now will require diligence and dedication as bad habits in children DO NOT change in a hurry and they sense weakness in the same way as a Great White shark smells blood.
If you in your heart of hearts think that you may fall into the category of 'tends to give in for a quiet life'-even if only occasionally then don't start smacking start strict!
Good luck either way, no one ever said it was easy-and there really is no one good way-one size does NOT fit all!
2007-01-25 21:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't ever get into an arguement stage with a child, grownups ought to know better. Explain to her why she shouldn't do whatever it is she has done. Then say you will have to deny her sweets or whatever, if she does that particular thing again.
Never in any circumstances smack, it must terrify a child. Let's face it, if you were new at a job and the manager smacked you for doing something wrong, it wouldn't be nice eh? Children are still learning all the time and five years on this earth isn't long enough to know much. Love is the best thing and reward for good behaviour.. Ignore petty stuff and she'll get the message that she doesn't get you attention when naughty.
2007-01-25 20:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by Angelfish 6 · 3⤊ 4⤋
get in touch with a child psychologist for parenting advice. smacking does not work and you should never resort to violence no matter what the reason. It only teaches them that when they get frustrated then hitting out is the way forward.My dad used to hit me and i despise him now! Smacking is illegal in the U.K and for a very good reason-it's cruel and seriously damaging to mental health. Parent of a very well behaved 16 yr old that was never smacked.
2007-01-28 05:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by munki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to keep to one method of discipline. All this chopping and changing is not doing either you or your daughter any good, and you both end up being stressed and angry. Young kids need consistency, and if you keep to just one method, she realises the consequences of her actions, and will think before she acts up. By changing all the time, you will make her insecure, and this will result in more naughty behaviour, and now you are asking if you should smack her? This will not work. In fact its bullying. You are resorting to this because you think nothing else works. Believe me, stopping sweets/toys/TV at this age is enough. (And keep on rewarding the good behaviour - the message will get through!!)
2007-01-25 21:06:23 · answer #9 · answered by claire b 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I don't believe in smacking, since whilst it may work the first time, you would have to do more and more to reach the same level of impact- perhaps it's just a phase and she's doing it for the attention.
Stay strong and firm :)
2007-01-26 02:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go on line and look up a discipline ladder. Your child is five and is trying to control what is going on around her. I have twin five year olds, and I feel for you. I would look into the discipline ladder. It is good for a few reasons. One it makes the child accountable for their actions. They are a part of the process of discipline. Also, it gives you and her a guideline to follow. She is old enough to do this. If she can't read do it with pictures.
Good luck.
2007-01-26 02:17:29 · answer #11 · answered by puzzleraspie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋