I have been with him for 3 years and am working on our second child. He wants sparks in bed and I'd rather not. I would rather show lving affection by cuddling and watching movies. He acpects me to get butterflys after a "normal" day together. I tell him a woman has to be built up to get that.
2007-01-25 20:23:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Congratulations, you've encountered the Mars/Venus dichotomy. He's behaving exactly the way men are wired to behave and you're behaving exactly the way that women are wired to behave. No blame on either side here, it's just normal.
2007-01-25 20:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Katy,
Maybe I'm just kind of "old school", but let me respectfully run something by you, ok?
You have some distorted views on what is love, and what is sex. There is a big difference between the two, even though the common consensus nowadays is that there is no difference.
You see, love GIVES. It is something that both persons do for one another. They GIVE it away because they are in love. And when that love becomes physical, the pleasure of it is so much more than "sex" could ever be.
Sex TAKES. It's lustful, full of self, taking from other person. It's not thinking of how that other person feels. It's not giving anything to another person. It's just personal satisfaction through a bit of romping. Then after that is over, it seems people want to evaluate one anothers performance as if they just ran the 50 yard dash or something. You see? It's impersonal.
You cannot associate sex and love. It's a dirt and water mixture which just makes mud. If you desire love, then make your physical time exactly that. Anything less is just selfish sex, and you're settling for less than the very best.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-25 21:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by C J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexy, racy love making can still be romantic and sensual if it's made to be. The cuddling and affection are sweet and the sparks and fireworks are hot! Why can't you both satisfy the other at the same time? Women need foreplay to start the hormones flowing and guys need the spice to perform. Work together on this one. It doesn't need to be all his way, it doesn't need to be all your way. Together, find a common ground that sends you both through the roof. Maybe pick nights that are yours and nights that are his. It takes both people to make a couple. Enjoy!
2007-01-25 20:37:42 · answer #3 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is quite different from the extra details...but first its not abnormal to desire screwing bse i know somedays you just wanna jump into bed and bump n grind right away.but it becomes a problem when that becomes the only way you want your sex.
Making love i know takes a lot on the ladies side since your mind has to be primed for it so Continue showing him the ways you can set your mind for it.is it cuddling, soft petting,slow kisses, sharing your day's experiences..etc that works for you? tell him better yet show him.bse unless he is psychic,you'll forever be frustrated
Good luck!
2007-01-25 20:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by Fresh and Funky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u say butterfly's if u mean aroused then its like not every women is the same . some women and even some men want to have sex 2 times a week while others want to have sex 3 times a week it just depends on Ur sex drive and if Ur depressed or not . some women get very aroused with out any physical contact while others need to be touched or some thing. just till him how Ur sex drive is different then his and not every one wants to do it as often as he does. it don't take days or a day to be built up to very aroused Ur sex drive just isn't as high as his cause after normal day with him Ur not in the mood to have sex but he is but now when it comes to about you
have sex some women need to have oral sex in older to get
aroused enough so that they have an orgasm during intercourse cause some don't get enough clit
stimulation during intercourse but some women do and don't feel like they need oral sex. next time when Ur aroused ask for oral but only ask when Ur arousal is high cause it wont feel pleasurable if ur at a low arousal state,so no its not abnormal.
2007-01-25 20:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been with my boyfriend for a shorter time, we're not sexually active and I get butterflies everytime he calls me. When I see the phone light up, just thinking about him or he call me a pet name, everything he says gives me butterflies. So I don't know how you feel.
2007-01-25 20:30:14 · answer #6 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are absolutely right the correct kind of love making can last all day... with right foreplay whne you then do it it can blow both peoples mind... ur right to demand this as this is only natural... and its a known fact women need hell a lot of foreplay then men before they has the almighty orgasms
2007-01-25 20:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad or abnormal. My bf is kind of like this. It takes a man about .2 secounds if that to get arroused but women have to ....get warmed up if you will.
2007-01-25 20:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important to have sparks on bed. Otherwise he'll think that he's not doing a good job... and u might risk losing him...
2007-01-25 20:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by Aranel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if by love making you mean slow and soft and by screwing you mean hard and fast. every female i have ever been with likes to be screwed every now and again. in fact more often then being made love to. so in my experience it is completely normal
2007-01-25 20:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by chronus79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋