Whats wrong with me?

Question

Here is my deal. I have been diagnosed with BiPolar, agrophobia, panic attacks and ADD. It has gotten to the point to where I maybe get out of the house 2 times a week and that is only if I am with my husband. I am to the point where I don't even get dressed during the day, my body is so off wack that my body can't tell day from night as far as sleeping. It has never been this bad and I don't know what to do. It is like I have nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing I want to do, nowhere I want to go. It has gotten to where I don't cook anymore and just clean the house enough to where it is livable.

I am stuck in this rut and truly don't know how to get out of it. I am on Social Security Disability, I medically retired early. I have been going to therapy for years now and am on medication to treat the BiPolar. I am scared to death to go out in public without anyone for fear I will have a panic attack. Any suggestions?

It is to the point where when I wake up I stay in bed and watch TV then I will move into the living room and watch TV. I will make sure my husband has his coffee ready by the time he gets home but that is about it. I am even afraid to answer the door if someone knocks on it. I will truly not answer it, I don't answer the phone and am starting to feel like this is not going to get better.

Does anyone else experience this? I use to be so outgoing, the life of the party, and in so many clubs. I even volunteered with the American Red Cross, was the Chairman for the Family Readiness Group, as we are Army and was always in to so many things. No I just have no desire to do anything.

I want to thank all of you who have answered my question. You all have some wonderful answers and believe me, I am truly trying to change things in my life.

Leitha, I love the way you put your answer and I do love myself, I am truly thankful for the kindness you and everyone else have shown in the answers you have given. I hope that I can dig down into myself and get myself out of the slump. I am not looking for a pity party, only suggestions from people that have been here or know someone that has.

I like the idea of taking some classes. I have done this at the local College but right now I am terrified of getting out and going. I know that this is all inside of me and something that only I can change. It is just good to talk with people that understand and hear ways of pulling out of this.

Thank you all !!!!!

Answer 1

i will tell you what you need to do
1. forget everything you have been told you have wrong with you and start accepting yourself RIGHT NOW!
2. go and buy some books on self love and learn how to love yourself
3 use your time you have now to seriously work on loving and accepting yourself for all your faults differences etc etc and dont use any excuses not to do this because there are none...i dont care how bad it seems you need love right now...and you are the one that needs to give it to you
4 take action and make it your number one priority in your life and by taking action i mean to start learning to love yourself
5 watch what the bleep do we know the movie...buy louise hays book heal your life
6 put ur arms around yourself and hug your beautiful self so very tight and know its all going to be alright because you are of beautiful nature and deserve to be treating yourself better and know you will do this
7 feel this love i am sending you now!
and email me if you need to talk

Answer 2

You are depressed. Don't be troubled for many people have these kind of problems. Seek some medical help or try herbs which ever one but talk to someone about your medication to be sure it is working well for you. I just now found some medicine that works for me when others did not. it will be what i take now or herbs or- me i may go out once a month. Find a hobby you like and try to focus on it. The not sleeping part is difficult but i managed sometimes not sleeping for three days and i kept on working for years even though my work was hard until i got too sick-with other problems as well. Now i do the best i can and i plan on getting some melatonin-it is found naturally in milk. You go to bed for the night after taking it-check with an herbalist or talk to someone at the pharmacy.

Answer 3

Being a mental health worker who has bi-polar disorder, I have a unique outlook on this subject. First, by your story I know you have been through the m.h, system and feel it hasn't worked for you. Clearly, something in your regimen is not working so you have to figure out what it is. If you don't fix this soon, things may get much worse. I know you've heard this before, but you have to examine each facet of your treatment. Set down with your Psychiatrist and explain to him in detail exactly what's going on. Complete honesty is key here as if you don't tell us what is really going on, we can't help you. After talking with your Dr., he should have a good idea what needs to be done. Sometimes, especially with bi-polar, things can be fine for a long while and all of a sudden, boom! And you have to start over. I had to do it several times before I got it right. Knock on wood! It's been over three years since I've had any episodes that required professional attention. If it can happen for me it can for you, too. Don't give up, keep fighting for your life. It is soooooooo worth it when it levels out. I am living proof of that. Also, FYI, there are support groups for our disorder, find one and go see what those people are doing to stay happy. Good luck and God bless. Peace.

Answer 4

It's clear some changes need to be made before things get even worse for you. Firstly I think you need to get in the mindset of wanting to make these changes, then identifying how you might go about them, like setting some realistic goals for yourself. Have you had a good assessment by a qualified mental health professional? You perhaps need to get a second opinion on your management and diagnosis. There must be a good therapist that can help you near by? Ring all the numbers in your local phone book until you get the help you need. Have you thought of online therapy? helpmyhead.com are good.

Answer 5

I had the same problem it’s really more about your mindset to tell you the truth. I know how sad and depressing life seems. But if you truly want to really live you got to stop treating yourself like a baby. Your not crazy and your not special your just a normal human being that can be happy. You just need to get up and throw yourself into situations. That's the only way I was able to get out of it. Take up alot of hobbies think about all the amazing things around you. Sure all of are life’s have no meaning but it is us who gives them meaning. The only way to beat it is to stop having excuses. You are not crazy or delusional you are person with a short life and wasting it worrying is stupid. Please stop looking for sympathy and get off your butt and do something worth while with your life. I am not trying to be mean. But I was in the same slump you were in and the only way I got out of it. Was to face reality and sadly we all have to. Depression is not a disease it is a state of mind. Pills only numb it you are the one that has to change it.

Answer 6

One thing that could be good for you is night classes. You should try doing classes in something where you make something - perhaps a course of painting in watercolours would be good. This sort of course is available most places.

This will get you out of the house, but in a controlled way, with the same people each week, so it shouldn't be too much strain on you. And you will get something out of it which you can say you made yourself, which will give you a sense of achievement and also an attainable target for your next week.

Answer 7

hang in there babe.
recognise that your dealing with a lot and find something that you enjoy and do it as much as you can.
im not sure how to overcome the panic attacks, they can be so scary but the more u get out the less they occur.
Try hard to work out what your passionate about in life.
for me it was my animals.
get as much help and support as you can.
speak to proffesionals and please please please consider natural therapys. ( they saved my life)
god bless you and your hubby.
hope this helps a bit.
please dont give up. you are well loved.
ask your angels for help also ( try books by doreen virtue about how to do this)

Answer 8

Visit panic portal, http://panicaway.deals-guide.com , You will never have to experience another panic attack again with their revolutionary new technique. Good luck my friend

Answer 9

k girl im bipoler manic deppresive my husband 2 and my sos have problems 2
it runs in the family its ok