this girl is accusing me of making her pregnant. we had sx few times in the past and it was casual. we had no plans of being commited, but now she wants me to marry her.
i cannot marry her, and i am not sure the baby is mine because i have seen her fall about other men. i am scared she will tell my family.i liv in india and i come from an orthodox background, and it will become a big issue here, my parents may not be able to bear it. how do i get out of the situation?
(i have no idea how to get a dna test done & secondly if i try to get to any hosital the topic may come in the open)
p.s. in my custom we marry only the person chosen by out elders and they looking for a suitable girl as of now.
i have posted this question before but it was deleted, (i have no idea why), i dint get a chance to see the answers.
2007-01-25 19:28:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you have a doctor where you are, you can try to ask them about how you would go about getting a DNA test done. Anything you discuss with medical personnel (eg doctors, nurses, etc) have something called a patient confidentiality thing, where they cannot tell others what their patients tell them. As for your family, unfortuneately if this baby is yours, the right thing to do would be to take responsibility for it, as hard as that may be, due to fears of how your family would take it. I dont know if you do or did use it, but there is protection against this as well. Unfortuneatley, as i am sure you know, sometimes things only have to happen once, and no birth control is 100% effective. First thing would be to try to find out if this child is yours, then go from there. Perhaps just try to be a little more careful in the future. As for marrying her, if it is something you do not want and or cannot do, do not let her try to push you into it. Stand strong on that.
2007-01-25 19:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by anna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-24 01:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you think of the consequences before you had a sexual relationship with her? Call a doctor and inquire into a DNA test with both of you. That's the only sure way of proving who the real father is. If it is you, you will have to behave according to your customs, your conscience, and what is best for the child. You can't "get out of the situation". You have to deal with it as soon as possible.
2007-01-25 19:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir, I sympathize with your plight, but I also must remind you that you didn't take into account your "orthodox background" when you were having "casual sex" with this woman. It's funny you are taking that into consideration now.
You seem to be concerned about your parents acceptance of your situation, and you did not consider their feelings while you were engaged in a sexual relationship with this woman. That is something you should have thought about beforehand.
Ok, let's assume this woman is pregnant. You need to take her to a medical center and they can determine if you are truly the father. I think you need to be worried about the welfare of this woman and the child, rather than if this scandal is going to come out into the open. This is time for you to be a man, and not a child. Take responsibility for your actions. If you are indeed the father, then you have to assume that role. If you are not the father, then your "good name" will obviously be cleared.
It sounds to me like you're very self centered, and I'm sorry for saying that, but nevertheless that's the picture you're painting. You need to see past yourself and your "reputation" and do what is right for the child you have created. It takes two to tango, brother. Step up to the plate and do what is right, and be a man.
2007-01-25 22:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by C J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're in a whole lot of mess right now. the only option you can get out of this mess is to get a DNA test. don't worry about what others would say anymore. what you need to do is to find out if the baby is really yours. if yours, then be man enough to accept responsibility. you brought this on yourself by having casual sex with others without protection.
2007-01-25 19:50:20 · answer #5 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get DNA tested. What if the baby is yours?
2007-01-25 20:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by manjari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you should have thought of the consequences before having casual sex. If you don't marry her, she will probably get mad & tell your family. Your family will be unhappy, i'm sure, but it would be better for you to tell them than if they found out from her.
2007-01-25 19:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
da only thing i can say is dat u sud B da 1st one 2 tell ur family because it will b worst and bad because she can add more stories to real 1 and it will B betta because wen dey kno wats up den dey wud hav 2 live wit da stiuation, "kno wat i mean?" dere fore wen da baby is born u can take a DNA test. it wud B betta. jus tryna help and gud luck :)
2007-01-25 19:43:40 · answer #8 · answered by martha f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a dna test, it might answer your question
2007-01-26 00:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont know how you are going to get out of this one, but good luck!
2007-01-25 19:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by its_just_me_218 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋