What should I do?

Question

Here is the issue: My wife of 9 years is bi-polar. She is chatting with a lesbian in India, and now my wife thinks she is bi. she cyber on the net with this woman, and recently asked this woamn to cyber marry her. I love my wife intensely, but feel betrayed and hurt. what should I do. her psychiatrist thinks this is just part of bi-polar and just ignore it, but it still hurts. She is on meds, but her Dr. say this is behavior and not something meds can take care of. she is also not sleeping right and not eating right too.

Answer 1

this is REALLY a hard case to handle! the bipolar is telling her that she loves that woman.then she want to believe the bi-polar side of her.this sounds truly too me that this very well may be a "TRUE" psychoses a "delusion" you may want to do some research on psychoses.and the psychiatrist she has is REALLY missing the true problem here!she really doesn't LOVE that woman the delusion does.she really loves you :)she is having severe bipolar symptoms she will get sicker if she doesn't get real help.tell her psychiatrist about what i said about her. PLEASE

Answer 2

Hello............. If your wife's doctor says that her over-active libido is not a symptom of her bipolar disorder, I believe that he is mistaken. It sounds as if he would like you to ignore this particular symptom, does he also tell you to ignore the fact that she is not sleeping or eating well either? Can you be 100% sure that your wife has been totally med-compliant? If she has been taking her meds and still exhibits these types of behaviors, perhaps the meds which she has been taking have lost their ability to keep her level. This is common, and years of stability on a particular medication can be upset by something as simple as hormonal changes or stress. I would say that your wife is relapsing, and to ignore any of her symptoms would be foolhardy at best. As for her lesbian friend in India, I wonder if she even knows of your wife's condition. If there were a way for you to contact her yourself and make her aware, I'd say go for it. She needs to know that their relationship could be nothing more than a fantasy, If she is any kind of woman at all, she will understand and break it off. Your wife is vulnerable now and will most likely need you more than she ever has if this should happen. If she continues to live in a world where fantasy rules, things will only get worse. It isn't easy loving someone with bipolar, it takes nerves of steel and a heart of gold and unfortunately, your relationship stopped being about you the moment she was diagnosed. It isn't fair to you, yet imagine how hard it has been for her, living with this wicked illness. She doesn't understand why she does the things she does anymore than you do. She can't even see how much this is hurting you, so you can decide to be strong and be proactive, or allow your pain to rule. There are no easy answers, but once you have gotten her the help she needs, you will never regret it. It's never wrong to help someone who desperately needs help. Good luck to you and take care.............

Answer 3

Don't listen to your doctor, in reality if your wife doesn't enjoyed you the she may be in high risk for cheating or divorce.

I am very positive that Bi-Polar is not the cause and ignoring is a terrible advices.

Bi-Polar is the most compromising mental illness ever known in the United States. Not everybody who have Bi-Polar, are the "real" Bi-Polar. I personally have a grudge against Bi-Polar for that reason.

The side effects of Bi-Polar is huge mood swing.

Answer 4

I see why you would be upset it really isn't right even though she is bi polar. I would say you should get your own therapist to help you deal with her and your own feelings. Just because someone is sick doesn't mean you just have to swallow everything you have your own boundaries that need to be set and marrying someone on the computer should be one of them. Seriously good luck, you do have the right to take care of yourself it doesn't mean you love your wife any less.

Answer 5

well, talk to her. really talk. even if she has a bipolar disorder, taht is no reason for you not to be able to have a rational talk with her, she is on med so let her take her meds regularly. most of all, ask help from friends you can trust. invite them over to your house, have a socialization to divert her attention from the net. have a vacation, rediscover again the pleasures of being newly weds. you've been together for 9 years, that's a whole lot of years already and maybe you have developed a monotonous lifestyle and she recently discovered a diversion (that is, chatting with a lesbian) and must have discovered it an ice breaker to your monotonous lifestyle.There is still hope. you said you love her. YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT LOVE conquers all difficulties. you are at a point of a major challenge, why let a stranger snatch your wife right at the tip of your nose? start courting her again, or you must have forgotten those little love whispers you used to give to her? the loveletters you used to write? the flowers you used to give? the gifts you used to wrap? there is HOPE for you. there is HOPE for her. there is still hope for your marriage.. fight for it.. fight for her.. fight for love.

Answer 6

Even if it's cyber-cheating, it's still cheating, and I totally understand how you are hurt, hun.

I am sorry that you have to deal with such a loser for a wife.

Next time, try to pick someone more normal, because dealing with someone with mental illness is just too hard and makes life miserable!

I'm usually not so mean, but mental illness is NO excuse for this type of behavior.

Take Care, hun God Bless and *hugs to you*

Answer 7

Pray for her and try to make her understand that it is wrong to do such things; may God help you both and all those with this kind of problems!
Take good care!

Answer 8

since u've already consulted a psychiatrist,just follow what he said.i think she should be ok.u just wait patiently.but one thing i w'd like to ask u,r u ok on bed with her?try to arouse her interest with u dearly.

Answer 9

she's totally crazy...