I was going out with this guy for a year and then he got in a car accident just after our aniversary. He lives in FL and was driving to meet me when he crashed. He was in the hospital from June until yesterday. I hadnt heard from him in 5 months so I thought he was dead. I finally decided I count wait anymore to find out so on New Years Eve I decided I would move on. The next day I asked out this guy I have known for a few years (He lives in NC) and he said yes. We have been going out for 25 days now and then all of a sudden my old boyfriend called today. I want to be with him again but I dont want to just leave the guy I'm with now. I really love my old boyfriend but I dont want to seem heartless and leave my new boyfriend. My newboyfriend is suposed to visit me this Saturday. My old boyfriend wouldnt be able to see me for a long time still. I have never seen any of them in person or on a webcam or anything. All I have is pictures. What should I do?
2007-01-25 18:30:56 · 15 answers · asked by oykawoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want to be with one of them for sure, dont string the other along..
It sounds like you want to be with your old boyfriend, so do the right thing and tell the new guy the story. If your open and honest about it then nobody can really blame you. You felt you had to move on and thats what you did.
Unfortunately.. or fortunately....the past has come back to you, so maybe you should see yourself lucky enough to be given a second chance.
2007-01-25 18:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly, you don't have a conventional relationship with either of these guys. How can you say they're your boyfriends if you've never seen either in person? I guess the best thing you can do is tell the new bf about your old bf and explain the circumstances. Tell him exactly what you posted here and let him know that you're not sure what to do yet. Then tell the old bf that you'll meet him but explain the situation to him as well. You didn't intentionally set out to hurt or dump anyone but at some point, you'll have to drop one of them. The only thing you can do is meet them both and see what your real feelings are them. You can't make a choice until you have a real life connection to these guys. Other than being honest with both of them, I don't see how else you could go about this. Good luck.
2007-01-25 18:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have strong feelings for the old boyfriend and the new one is suppose to visit you on Saturday, sit the new one down and explain the situation about the incident he should understand that you thought that you lost the guy in a car accident and decided to try to see someone else and now you know that the old one is still alive and you want to be with him. Tell him you are really sorry and you never meant to hurt him but you want to be with your old boyfriend.
Good Luck
2007-01-25 18:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you lost me at the end. You are calling guys your boyfriends that you have never meet in person. Im not sure whats the deal with this but I think you need to find a nice guy in your city that you have seen and talked to in person.
Ok so this is my advise minus the issues I have with not having seen the guys. I would have to have a good reason as to why I didnt get a phone call. Was the guy in a unable to call, write something? If he was able and didnt then go with the new guy.
2007-01-25 18:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by 2Negative 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi don't worry, it's very simple. be honest in your actions as you have been so far. after all you haven't done anything purposely. it happened eventually. there is nothing wrong from yourside.
Just let your new B.F know the truth but politely. tell him that it's your responsibility to get back to your old B.F. convince by saying you would have given the same patronage even if it was he (new B.F) in the old B.F's place.
Thank him for the patronage he showed you and wish him all the best for his future. He would definitely appriciate you and let you free.
Instead if you ever have an idea of simultaneously going out with both and trying to get out of it later. please give up the idea. there's no short cut for a permanent solution. all the best
2007-01-25 19:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..he was hurt trying to come and see you. I'm sure his injuries were pretty severe to keep him hospitalized for so long. Obviously he still cares to have called as soon as he got out of the hospital. Maybe he was not well enough to contact you before. I think it's not fair to brush him off for some new guy...but hey this is just my opinion. You technically didn't go out with him for a year...you said you never met him in person, lol... oh my, now I am getting all technical...it's time for bed! best of luck with all that.
2007-01-25 18:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
weigh your love for your old boyfriend... and do the same with your current one. think twice but not once. try remembering the things you've had with your ex and compare it with your new one. you said you still love him but you can't leave your new boyfriend, right? people say that what's in the past, is the past. what's today is today. let it be.. it doesn't really matter whether you've seen both of them or not! love isn't all about the physical characteristics of the other. love is real. and love is faithful. in the first place, you shouldn't have left him. you should've understand that he's badly hurt... knowing that he was actually on his way to see you! now you're committed to someone else already and your ex just called... and you still love him. what to do? talk things out with your close buddies and ask for their advice.
2007-01-25 18:44:12 · answer #7 · answered by CB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi folk u've already made a mistake in the first place by not confirming properly if ur old boyfriend is dead or not, all u have to do is to explain the whole situation to ur new b/friend.
try to explain with a gentle voice and with a pitiful look on ur face,tell him u still loves ur old b/friend and tell him to reason with u if he happens to be in ur own shoe.
2007-01-25 18:41:59 · answer #8 · answered by olawale michael 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart. visit with the new boyfriend and see what he is like in person if you don't feel the same way about him like you did when you seen the pictures then let things go from there.if your old boyfriend calls ask him why he hasn't called you in so long.and if you still feel the way about your old bf then casually break things off with the new one.
2007-01-25 18:45:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say stick with the new boyfriend.
The feelings for your old bf will eventually die because you do not have him with you physically. And you were apart for 5 whole months.
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it makes you move on with your life.
Good Luck and *hugs*
2007-01-25 18:36:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋