My brother passed away last year. He has a son who is only 8 years old. His mother (one of my closest friends) is now living with another man who is violent with her and has hit her on more than one occasion. They argue and scream in front of my nephew on a daily basis. Many times I have seen my nephew show concern for his mother's safety and even tries to get involved in the arguements. I know this behavior is harmful to my nephew and I remember how I felt as a child when my parents faught. I fear that he will either grow up to be abusive like his mother's boyfriend or allow someone to abuse him. My brother was a stand up man and wanted better than this life for his son and so do I. I have voiced my concerns MANY times to my sister in law and to her new boyfriend but neither of them listen or do anything to change it. It only seems to be getting worse. Sometimes I think I should call child protective services, but I worry that could put him in a worse situation? What should I do?
2007-01-25 18:21:34 · 8 answers · asked by Aunt Buffy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
don't bother talking to him since he is abusive but talk to her and get her to stand up for herself. You can find information at sites like http://www.ncadv.org and even print that out to show her. She may be dealing with your brother's death in that way and if you can get her to go to counselling with you she would be better off. If your nephew is mature enough, tell him not to get involved in their arguments but to call 911 if he hits her and get the police out there or if you see him get violent with her you can also do that.
your sister may also remember how your parents fought and think that is normal so that would be more reason for counselling.
You might also talk to her, remind her of how our mother was in a similar relationship and tell her she needs to get out of that one so that her son doesn't continue the cycle all over again. If you call protective services, that should be only as a last resort and only if your name is kept out of that so that your sister in law does not hate you for doing that. Good luck to you!!
2007-01-25 18:40:03 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a very tough situation..
Sometimes, the only way to get help in this kind of situation is to call CPS or call the local police while a major fight is happening..
You can always go to the agency and have your nephew released into your temporary custody. They would always rather place the child with caring, suitable, and safe family members than to have to find a placement into an emergency foster home..
You just need to make sure that you are right there, within a few short hours, to get him released into your care..
Good Luck, and I wish you the best..
..and this might be the only way to protect your sister in law..she could be depressed over the loss of her husband and has taken up with the first man to show her any affection. I am sure her self esteem is wasted and she sounds like she needs some immediate mental health counseling.. and a safe place, herself, away from this abusive man...
2007-01-25 18:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can call the school the boy goes to and tell the school therapist whats going on. Or you can call CPS, by law they cant inform the mother of who called. If she asks you about it say a neibor must have heard them fight. What if this guys hits the child? You need to do something about this before the child is hurt or someone ends up dead. I think that the mother yes will hate you if she found out but she needs to get help and get out. Maybe ask the boy if he wants to stay with you. Dont talk to the bf but talk to the lady. Tell her that if she does not do something you will do something. Step up and take care of this because it sounds like the mother does not care
2007-01-25 18:48:24 · answer #3 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the authorities before things get real ugly....take your nephew away from them, perhaps you can be the guardian of your nephew, speak to counselors at his school, go as far as you have to, she will have to choose between this abusive idiot or losing her child....she is pitiful, perhaps she is so distressed over your brother that she just hooked up with the first person that showed her some kind of affection. God Bless you for being such a caring aunt, and your nephew who deserves more than what he is getting.
2007-01-25 19:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She will hate you if you call CPS as it sounds like she might lose her son because of it and you will have to prove her unfit
... no one here can really truthfully answer that you should or should not call them ...that is your call because there are many different ways that it can go .. including not being allowed to be a part of his life ...
Are there any other family members that know about this ? Is there anyway that you can gain custody of him ?
You might want to talk with a lawyer about this matter ..
2007-01-25 18:33:20 · answer #5 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what would be worse...leave him to watch that kind of situation or get him out and see about some sort of custody until his mom gets her stuff straight...your brother i am sure would not want that kind of life for his son and would do what he could to protect him...if you feel so strongly about the situation and his safety i dont see why you wouldnt try to get some sort of legal or social service info...i am sure his mom is still hurting from the loss of your brother and that is why she has fallen into this kind of relationship...she obviously cannot get a handle on the situation and for his safety i would step in.....good luck
2007-01-25 18:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by michele m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doctors have been known to be wrong, especially when the Great Physician is involved. I pray God give all of the care givers wisdom, and for your nephews complete healing. †Prayer Warrior At Your Request†
2016-05-24 00:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, call the cops and do it now. The child does not deserve this treatment.
2007-01-25 18:53:00 · answer #8 · answered by Deana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋