I have not allowed my son to be baptized. I know it is useless and I do not want to half-drown my young son. My son can baptize if he wants it a fter he turns 18. But my wife and relatives are Christians who wants him to be baptized. My marriage has almost reached a divorce due to this issue. How can I explain to my wife and relatives?
2007-01-25 17:52:15 · 33 answers · asked by Born again atheist 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You get a court injunction prohibiting your wife and relatives from violating your son's constitutional right to freedom of religion. He has the right to choose his own path, once he is capable of making an informed decision. Your wife does not have the right to impose her religious beliefs upon him.
2007-01-25 17:57:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 8⤋
I was never baptized and I'm glad for it but I don't see how it would have mattered if I was. It's not like it would have changed me in any way. Baptizing a child is meaningless to me but it's a tradition and it's very important to some people. I don't believe a baby/small child should be fully submerged but I didn't think that was a requirement at that age. I don't know how old your son is but when they are babies, a few sprinkles of water means nothing to them so it wouldn't bother me that much if I were the parent.
I don't think you can explain it to them in any way that they will understand. If you say it's 'useless' they will respond with a comment about how it shouldn't bother you then since there's no actual harm in it (as long as there is no complete submergence in water) I agree that it's something that a kid should decide to do on his own when he's old enough to understand exactly what he is doing. Personally, I'd just let it happen since it would make my family happy. If it's useless, who cares anyway? It's not like the kid is suddenly going to become possessed by Christ or anything.
2007-01-25 18:08:47 · answer #2 · answered by Pico 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your son be baptized it can be the best thing that has ever happened to him. He can decide what he wants when he grows up. They are not going to drown him. Baptizing wont brand the boy. I was baptized when I was five years old. I went to Church and bible study two days a week for eleven years then I became an Atheist when I was sixteen and haven't been to Church since. It has been very helpful knowing the Bible though it makes me relies how silly the hold thing really is. I have read the entire bible three times over in addition to my bible studies, I know the bible better than many Christians who does not read the bible at all as evidenced by some of the questions and answers on this page.
BB. Boop Oop A Doop!
2007-01-25 18:16:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your son wants to be baptized let him. They do not half drown you at all..and God is so wise that in the bible it says for people to not be unequally yoked in marriage. Perhaps this is something you should have discussed before you married.
Besides, what do you think it will do to your son? Will it change him from loving you if he loves you now? No it won't. I honestly cannot see what the problem is..him being baptized will not affect your personal life any..and I do think a young person knows if they want to get baptized or not.
Please realize that they have this "interest" apart from you. You probably have intersts of your own that they are not a part of...this will not harm you or your child. Being baptized and being a christian is about love..whether you agree with it or not. If people genuinely love God, then their behaviour will change for the better..what is so wrong with that? It's not as if they are forcing something on you.
2007-01-25 18:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hold up, dude. If you feel so strongly about your son not being a Christian, I don't understand what "common basis" you had for getting into a relationship with your wife. I mean, if it's okay for you to marry a Christian, it should be okay to have a son who is one, too.
I agree with you - Christianity is dumb. But you wouldn't see me marrying a devout Christian, either. I want to have little non-Abrahamic babies with a good pagan woman someday. See, this is why people who have common beliefs get together, so they can have that type of harmony.
But then, maybe your wife is just seriously hot.
That could be, too.
In which case, I'd say deal with it up, baptize the kiddo, and tap that.... you know.
Hail Satan,
Lazarus
2007-01-25 18:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by The Man Comes Around 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never in my life heard of anyone being half drowned during a baptism. Lutherans and others just sprinkle a few drops of water on the baby's head. The churches who dunk people are the ones who do NOT do infant baptism-- they are the ones who do wait until the kid is old enough to make his or own choice. Have you seen a baptism at your wife's church? Maybe you have the wrong idea what it's like? Are you sure this is not just a power play? Your will against everyone else's?
2007-01-25 17:59:31 · answer #6 · answered by Cookie Preston 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did you love your wife when you got married? Do you love her now? Well, in a marriage everybody needs to make compromises. You can compromise and let your child be baptized. For you it means nothing, it is useless, but for her it means everything. She believs she is saving him and cleansing him of all sin. So, why not allow him to be baptized if it would make her so happy. And if she's happy, you'll probably be happy, too
2007-01-25 18:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by Ana 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Very much depends if you want to save your marriage or allow this issue to destroy it - if you split and your wife obtains custody you won't get much of any say.
If you're willing to bargain, then allow the baptism, after all it's little more than a naming ceremony, but explain to your wife that you don't agree that her beliefs should be imposed upon your child and that he should get to make his own decision, what ever that may be, when he's old enough to make it.
Look on the bright-side - she's not Jewish and about to cut half his cock off!
2007-01-25 18:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by BOB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?
These are the options your question sets before you.
If you want to be right is it worth your love for your wife, in laws, and your child to cause a major division over something you believe is not reality.
If ultimately you want to be happy is this worth having your son go through a simply family ceremony that increases peace within the relationships in your life.
Married Love is agape love. Self sacrifice for the other to the point of laying your life down for your spouse. Do you Love your wife enough to allow her this peace of mind and soul? Or does your rightness prevail.
Decide your path. It is that simple.
2007-01-25 18:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lives7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, do you have a tough road ahead of you.
First, baptism is only meaningful to those who want it to have a meaning. If it doesn't mean anything to you personally, its just a priest telling a story, and sprinkling a few drops of water on the child's head. Personally, I agree with you, but its not my child or marriage on the line here.
Explain to your wife (no offense but you don't owe anyone else an explanation on this) that you want to raise your son to be a strong individual who can make important decisions like this, on his own. You want to give him the chance to explore his world (physically, mentally, and spiritually) and allow him to choose his place in it. You don't want to deny him the christian part of his upbringing (which your wife brings to the table), you just want to allow him to present all sides of the issue to him, and allow him to make an educated decision. Let her know that you want to allow him to exercise his free-will when he's old enough to do so, and that you're not rejecting her beliefs outright, but you'd rather he come to them himself, instead of arbitrarily selecting them for him. Explain that this is a decision that the two of you have to make regarding your son, not your relatives or her's...just the two of you.
You really have 2 possible courses of action here, providing she doesn't come around to your wishes:
First, you can concede the point. Allow your son to be baptised, but still allow him to explore and decide for himself what's right for him. It may be worth it, if your marriage is truly in jeopardy. Like I said, its only meaningful to those who want it to have a meaning. Your son may reject it himself later in life, which would make it a void gesture anyway. Given your explanation of the situation, this may be the best if talking doesn't do any good.
Second, you can play hardball. Most, if not all, churches require both parents (providing they are both a part of the child's life) to consent to the baptism. Withhold your consent, and the problem of the ceremony is taken care of. Unfortunately, the consequences appear to be bleak from what you say.
2007-01-25 18:26:20 · answer #10 · answered by Bill K Atheist Goodfella 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is... why did you marry a Christian.. and have children.. Now you want to do and say something about it!
Should you have not spoken of this earlier.. I would have to tell you that you lack a little wisdom here. And rather than trying to control this issue.. You should spend more time thinking about your outlook altogether especially when you say it has brought you to almost a divorce.
It will not hurt you! if he was circumcised... trust me that hurt tons more!
Now think right! Get right!
2007-01-25 18:07:36 · answer #11 · answered by Esther J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋