older woman with a young man?

Question

i am an older woman who has fallen in love with a man 15-19 years younger than me. (from another country, so his birth certificate says he was born 4 years younger than his actual age.) he is charming, romantic, and makes me laugh. i have even considered having another child. is this some sort of middle age thing? i really would like some serious answers from women who have faced this situation. thank you
in peace,
lily

Answer 1

I'm 46 and is in the same situation. The only difference is that we live in the same city and work in the same office building. He's half my age. I've heard of friends experiencing this type of relationship but never dreamed it could have happened to me. You did not specify your age so am not sure what type of response I should provide about having another child. I've already been there done that in my previous life and don't intend on going there again. I love this young man and I know he feels the same way about me. We are very emotionally involved and have never been physical. I can wait it out. There's no rush!! We spend at least 4 days each week talking and getting to know each other. I have not put any pressures on him that I want more from this relationship. He's young, still out there seeking what he wants and I don't think putting it out there on the table to him about too much commitment is what he wants right now (he's just another guy). He should understand though that this type of relationship is a different type of relationship, one that warrants some tactics in dating methods which should be shared as well as patience on both sides as to how fast things should move along. I know how you feel. It's exciting!! My heart race, palms go sweaty and I shake just knowing he's in the room. I've observed too that he experiences these very same things when I'm around. He's also a very strong young man. They feel proud and appreciative that someone respects and adore their manhood. Guide your thoughts carefully there Lily. Nurture your new found relationship. Age is just another number as one of the readers have replied. He will always look to you for reassurance, satisfaction and just plain whole warmth. Enjoy him. Best of luck.

Answer 2

I am in a relationship with a man 10 years younger. I am 43 years old. Before that I dated someone 11 years younger. To me age is just a number after about the age of 30 for both involved. The biggest issue you face is the child issue. My children are 16 to 19 years old. I really am not interested in that again. You have to ask the baby possibility question early and decide if it is a deal breaker. If it isn't, I see no issue with age. It hasn't been for me.

Answer 3

I dated a couple of older guys at least 10 years older than I. Some were really great, others were horrible about the same as guys I've dated around my age. I don' think the relationship's last because of the difference in thinking, I think older guys like the fact they can still attract older women, but older women are more what they want because they can relate better. Older women who date younger men, those relationships do well because women adjust better to different situations. (as long as they don't try to be a "mom") Just my opinion here, but this was a very good question. Take care.

Answer 4

I sometimes date younger men. I'm 46, a widow and after finding myself out in the world again, wanting to be social with men, I have found men around 30 or so delightful.

I am not in love with my current younger lover. I'm not looking for marriage or even a commitment so I differ from you in that respect. But, I do find younger men bring a kind of energy, fun and excitement to a relationship of any kind. He is my friend first and my lover only incidentally.

I don't find it a middle age thing. I am not "hooked" on younger men, date around and also have seen men my own age and older. They all seem to have their good points just as individual men have their positive and negative qualities. It just happens that a couple of the men I have found with the most to offer in friendship and intimacy are younger.

So, I say go with it and don't let the numbers hamper your feeling or your intent. Whatever two people feel together is what counts. I don't find age to be a social problem so far. His friends occasionally tease him and "Mrs Robinson" jokes and the title of "cougar" have come up, been laughed off and disappeared as I am well received by his friends and family.

Live , laugh, enjoy each other and my very best to you both. Love is too precious to let go for a number. Be happy.

Answer 5

When I was 20, I had a "thing" for a woman who was 50. She was absolutely gorgeous (especially in a bikini) and absolutely the nicest person I had ever met up to that time. She was married so nothing ever happened but I had the chance to tell her that I was VERY attracted to her and she kissed me and said she was too but she was a married woman and there couldn't and wouldn't be anything ever between us. Now I am 50 and she is 80 and retired in Florida by now. But I still get "butterflies" as they say when I think about her. I'd still love to see her again!

Answer 6

The love of my life is 9 years younger than me. I wasn't looking for anyone when we met, but he is my soulmate. Love has no age issues. The reality is, there will be maturity issues that arise, but I found similar ones with men twice his age too.

Go for it and enjoy yourself! And there is nothing about your relationship that suggests that you are "desperate", so ignore the other comment posted here - that was weird.

Answer 7

if anyone's birth certificate info does not line up with the info the person gives you, then something is very wrong. not to sound prejudiced, but from now on we really have to be careful of who we let into our lives. not just of people from other countries, but especially from our fellow citizens. this said because i used to be the hairstylist for a few fellas that were foreigners. they would talk to me about hooking them up with girls i knew and didnt know. i never got in the middle of their wants for american gals tho. come to find out later on that these guys were possible gofers in the 911 plot. obviously trying to get citizenship to do their dirty deeds here. we just have to be careful regarding the terrorist issue and everything else.

Answer 8

i would suggest u take the relationship slow... age is not a big deal.. but there are so many con-ners in this era.. find out more about each other before jumping into a relationship because he is charming and romantic.. that could be a very persuasive trap!

Answer 9

This situation comes with hormonal imbalance.Dont take it seriousely.You can be friends,and have a nice relationship without getting involved .

Answer 10

love is love, not even a bullet can stop it. if he loves you and he is in legal age then go for it.

Never let anyone tell you different, live life the way you want to live it, life is a 1 time thing.