Is it wrong for you to want to cut your family off when you don't like them and you know they don't like you?

Question

We argue, fuss, and fight all the time and it's draining me mentally and physically. I'm tired. What should i do?

Answer 1

It may be viewed by some as "wrong" but, you need to realize just how taxing families can be on one another. I come from a family of two older brothers and three sisters (one older than me). My oldest brother, older and middle sister are all deceased. Their deaths traumatized each of us, but I seemed to be the one the rest looked to for support. When my mom and grandfather passed in the mid 90s it got even worse. I did what I could but I had to grieve, they wouldn't give me a seconds rest to come to grips with these major life changes. As a result, I have not spoken to my only living sister or my Step Dad. I don't lose one minute of sleep over it. If we reconcile I would be fine with it, but, if I go to my grave without ever speaking to them again it wouldn't even rate a footnote on my tombstone. In one word, it's STRESSFUL, and stress can be a silent killer. You gotta live your life. It's short and you need to be having fun not being a scapegoat or a pincushion. In the immortal words of Snoop, "Drop It Like It's HOT". Good Luck.

Answer 2

No it's not wrong. Nobody should be in situation where they're drained mentally and physically. But I would send them a Christmas card every year or in some way keep in contact just once a year. You might have kids someday if you don't already and when they get bigger they will ask about family. Then you can introduce them just once. (And they'll see what they're not missing.)

Answer 3

Hmm.. I know it can be very hurting but there is no need for any cut offs with whoever. You can slowly cut down contacts and don't fight back when they're asking for it. I mean, concentrate on other things which make you happy and be the best you can be as a person. If they're bringing you down, leave them aside. After cooling down from them, you may realise that it isn't that bad. From the things you hate about someone else, often help you learn new things about yourself. Anyway, just keep the relationship as healthy as possible. Think outside the box.

Answer 4

Hi
No its not wrong to cut out your family,
I did it 18 years ago, took me a few years to get over doing it, but it was the best thing I have ever done.
You need to start thinking of yourself. whats best for you mentally, dont you think that you deserve the rights to start living your life, a life that makes you happy.
If you have children, it effects them too, if your not happy your children arent either.
By taking that step might effect your family, and if they love you it will it them hard and hopefully they will stop doing what their doing and they will change, if not its no loss on your account.
Hopefully you have good friends out there that will listen to you when you need a shoulder, makes a lot of difference.
Good luck with what ever road you go down and keep your head up high.
Sonaya

Answer 5

Ask them if it's worth it to them to act this way. If they wouldrather be 'right' or antagonistic towards you, instead of working equally as hard to get along, then you'll simply remove yourself from the equation. I did, and haven't spoken to my sibling and her family in almost 8 years...the hard part(especially for a woman) is going to be when you realize the birthdays and holidays you would normally be incontact and spending time with them are no longer an option. It is hard at times, but not as hard on you as the battles...good luck and choose wisely!

Answer 6

As long as you are not talking about your dependant family, like hubby and kids, I say cut them off. Do what's best for you.

On the other hand, maybe instead of completely cutting them off you could move and distance yourself to ease tensions. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I agree with The Nth Degree. Take a break! Don't cut them off totally. Reply if they need to talk to you and they're sounding civil.
Do NOT burn bridges with your family. Just take a break like it was said. That way no love lost really, and you can still be there for each other in case there's a need for that.

Answer 8

My husband and I did. We still love them, but we wouldn't still be together if we hadn't have done so! I cried for six months afterwards and blamed myself, but now I realise they are the ones to blame, as they never respected us or the life we have made for ourselves and our kids!
If you think that you would be happier, not to be involved in the arguments and the fights then get out! Just do what is right for you........

Answer 9

I don't think family is forever. I don't think you should be nice just because you're family. I think family is what you're born into, but if they treat you badly, why endure it and stick around? My father does some crazy criminal things, why would I want to stick around that? I think it would be weird to never talk to my family ever again, but I also think that if they ever did anything to upset me I would be gone and not regret it. They are just other people that are on this earth and to me, that's it.

Answer 10

Assuming your an adult, then you need to set up boundaries with your family. If certain family members want to pick fights, then you need to tell them that you refuse to be around them. Don't let family walk all over you. I realize when it comes to family we want to try to please everyone, but it's just not possible. If you do have to around them, try to be kind and courteous to them. Show them that you won't stoop to their level of behavior. Maybe they can learn something from you.