10 Questions to ask mate before marrying?

Question

My fiance and I have planned a tenative wedding date of May 19, 07. I would like to compose a list of 10 really good questions to have him answer to make sure this is something that he wants as much as I do. But I'm stuck... I want the questions to have multiple choice like answer. I have 1 question so far:

When a couple gets married, what is the groom suppose to do?
a. Run like hell!
b. Hang himself because he just ended his life.
c. Depart from family and became one with wife.
d. Lay down the rules of the house.

The correct answer is C. It's located in the Bible. All the questions doesn't have to come from the Bible or be religious based. Just something that questions morals, values, trust, respect, committment..etc. Any suggestions, would be great!!! Thanks in advance! :)

Answer 1

Here is a list of questions you can read:
http://marriage.about.com/od/engagement/ss/tenquestions.htm


And this website also has other questions:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/life_questions.shtml

1. Do we love, trust and respect each other?

2. Do we share the same expectations of marriage?

3. Do we share things in common that make us shout, cry and laugh?

4. Do we agree on major life issues, such as children, family and friends, where we'll live and style of living?

5. Do we have a way of managing conflict?

6. Do we share the same views on infidelity and commitment to avoiding temptation?

7. Do we love each other just the way we are today, without any hidden agenda to try to change the other?

You don't have to agree on everything. The important thing is that you and your partner have talked through these questions and both feel confident you can live and work together, knowing what the other believes.

Answer 2

Personally if u need to have him answer these questions u
have insecurities yourself.There are no handbooks out there
to make marriages last. U need to work out the kinks before
hand.Go to your paster and have some marriage counseling
done before u play with this questions idea. Marriage is not a light step and is suppose to be till death. U need a best friend, a lover, afather to children, a provider, etc. Someone who will be commited to your relationship, not run in trobled times and men
are great saying yea, yea! You both need to grow at the same
time within the relationship because its ever changing and the
bible is very hard in the real world. Life would be great if we could
work with people that believe in the same things as us but its not
happening. I hope u get the pic and see your pastor on this before
playing with the por guys mind, remember he loves u and of
course men are taught to answer what they think we want to hear.

Answer 3

uhhh...how long have you known your sweetheart? Are you planning on answering the questions too? Or does he get to make up his own? While I think communication is crucial to a successful marriage your question raises a lot of red flags. You don't seem too sure. Lots of churches have pre-marriage counseling services that help couples prepare and ask questions that people who haven't been married wouldn't necessarily think of. Perhaps you should consider something like that. I just find it extremely curious that you think coming up with a multiple choice test with right and wrong answers is a good idea. If you must make up a test be sure to include questions about finances, children, religion, politics, fidelity, and anything else that is particularly important to you. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a. Ephesians 5:31

Answer 5

Kelly's post is great. You need to make sure you both have the same values and goals and expectations for the marriage.
It does sound like you have a good sense of humour about this based on your first question...
so have fun with this and Congrats!
Sorry I didn't offer any suggestions...but after seeing Kelly's post, I didn't think there was much more to add.

Answer 6

I would ask just one question - why do you want to get married to me? Correct and the only correct answer is....because I love you - nothing more, nothing less.

A lot of folks will talk about family, security, a nice thing to do in one's life, family pressure, youre pregnant, youre from a nice family, etc, etc, but none is the real correct answer though as noble as they are.

I hope thats why you want to marry him. I wish you well. PS There is NO fear in love.

Answer 7

I like that first question! Do you want to have any children? If so, when? a) one year 2) five years 3) whenever you are blessed by them showing up. You can choose the answer you want, see how close it matches with his.Congrats! Take care.

Answer 8

Maybe you have talked about some of these issues by now, maybe not. I agree with a previous poster who said that someone can lie when answering these questions but I think you will have to assume that your intended is sincere. Of course BOTH of you should answer these questions openly and honestly. Some disagreement is OK as long as you agree to work things out. Some of these questions are practical and some are more life-changing.

Do you want to have children? When? How many? What do we do if we want children but cannot conceive (a question near and dear to my heart)? Adoption? Infertility treatment? Surrogate? What do we do about child care if we have children? Day care? Who stays home with the children? Can we survive on one salary? What do we have to do in order to survive on one salary?

What church do you attend? Will you continue to attend church after marriage? What faith will we raise the children? Do we send our children to private or public school? Are you willing to sacrifice vacations to start saving for our children's college expenses?

What is your income? What savings do you have? What debts do you have? After marriage who balances the checkbook and pays the bills? Are you the type of person who cannot sleep at night if you do not have $10,000 in savings, because you just never know? Are you the type of person who cannot sleep at night if you do have $10,000 in savings because you want to run out and spend it?

If (insert family name here) becomes seriously ill can he/she move in with us so I/you can care for him/her. If (insert name here) dies will (surviving spouse) live with us?

Who's job is it to cook dinner? Clean the house?

Are you willing to put your spouse's best interest before your own? Are you willing to put your childrens' best interest before your own?

I am only scratching the surface here, but I think you get the idea. I do not want to overwhelm you but these are things that some couples do not even consider before they get married and then these issues cause unhappiness in later years.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You should be discussing things like finances, debt, working, education, children, how he is with his family - and yours, what he wants out of marriage, what he thinks the duties of a husband and a wife are, does he want a SAH wife/mom of his kids or a working wife, how you will raise children, eg. religion, discipline, values, etc.
However, lots of these things should have been taken into account even before you got engaged!
It's better to have open-ended questions than multiple choice, because then he has to explain himself.

Answer 10

Question:
Your wife is staying at home for the first two years of your child's life. Your wife's car is wrecked. Do you:
a. buy a new one
b. to save money don't buy one cuz she ain't working anyway
c. fix it
d. have her drive you to work if she needs a car that day
I wrote this question because I've been stuck at home by my first and second husband. If you don't want to experience hell first hand, then he better buy a new one or fix it. Kind of a trick question.