question for mothers......?

Question

i have 2 sisters and 1 brother. for as long as i can remember, my mom has been partial to them a lot more than she has me. for example, my younger sister told me that she paid her $500 electric bill the other day and she (my sister) just got a $6000 loan a week ago. she constantly buys things for both of my sisters kids, but not mine. she also watches their kids for them so that they can go out and have a break. i do live 4 hours away, but i see her about once ever 2/3 months and she NEVER does this for me. my little brother gets everything he asks for and when he doesn't get what he wants he tells my mom he's going to take it anyway... and he does. i'm 26 years old and it has been this way ever since i can remember. i don't mean to sound like a brat, but it really hurts my feelings that my mom never does anything like this for my kids and i. are there any mothers that have gone through this and can maybe tell me why my mom does this? maybe if i understand it, i can get over it? thanks

Answer 1

This may seem strange to some people,
but it does happen!
My mom 'always' did more for my youngest sister than the rest of us.
Keeping the kids, buying/doing more for her and her kids than the rest of us.
Some of my siblings got really tired of it and told our mother how they felt.
I did ask her why? she did so much more for
our youngest sis and hardly anything for the others. She told me it all had a lot to do with her being the youngest, and admitted she hadn't been able to 'cut the apron strings', (let her go), even though my sis is married with three kids now.
I don't know the circumstances to your family
problem, but in my case it was losing our dad when my youngest sis was only 3 months old,
and mom said she (sis) was a lifesaver to her
as she became an important focal point for my mom after losing dad.
Think about everything and see if there might be a significant reason why she does this.
It may be something you've never realized before!

Answer 2

I am 36 yrs old and I only came to realize just a few years ago how my mom really is. I am convinced she just don't like me. I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers and my brothers are mamaboys big time and always have been. My mom has always favored the boys and treated her daughters crappy. My sisters will kiss my moms butt if she is mad at them or something, I don't and won't ever. My sisters are fake and try to impress people with material things they have. I am the blacksheep of the family not only by looks but by who I am. I know this is not the religion and spiritual forum but I have to be honest and tell you that everything you are going through I have been through, I found all I need in the love of Jesus Christ. When I need a mother to talk to or be ther to comfort me, I turn to the Lord and sure enough every tear is wiped away and he reminds me how much he loves me. I can't even tell you how many years might have gone by now that my mom has even said she loves me. I am a mother of 4 beautiful daughters that she treats unfairly. My moms excuse for being partial to the boys is that my dad was too rough on them. My dad was only trying to make men out of his sons. She treats my brothers daughters very well, and talks so kind to them and shows so much interest in their lives. My daughter is 15, the oldest of the girls and it is so obvious my mom resents her because she is so much like me,not by looks, but person.

Answer 3

First, have you ever talked to her about it? Maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it. Second, if your siblings are younger than you, she probably is in the habit of giving them what they want since they are smaller (although she should have stopped doing it as they got older).

Don't worry about it. You may not be able to change your mother's treatment of you, but you can change your reaction to it. It sounds like your siblings are spoiled, and the fact that you don't act this way shows that you are more mature (do you happen to be the oldest kid in the family?). Try asking your mom to help with your kids, or drop them off at her place. It is hurtful to think that your mom cares for your other siblings more than you, but I don't think she's doing them any favors. They are less independent than you are. What you achieve, you will have achieved by yourself and nobody can take it away from you.

Answer 4

sounds like you have the middle child syndrome, as people like to call it. I have 4 children all grown 2 boys then 2 girls, My oldest is used to getting everything he wanted from his grandmother, 2nd son is slow so these things don't bother him, 1st daughter was my first girl and i loved her dearly as i do all 4 of them. last child i almost lost at birth so i was very protective of her. My first daughter was and is so jealous of her and i try to explain its because i almost lost her so many times (everything bad happened to her) but that doesn't help so I try to spend more time with the older daughter and I hold her every chance I get and reassure her of how very much i love her as well as the her siblings...talk to your mother because I'm sure she is unaware of how you really feel as i was...hope it helps you because i know its a hurtful feeling

Answer 5

It could be that she sees you as a lot more responsible than the other three, and that you are not in need of her help and support as much as they are...so why don't you do yourself a favor, stop pouting about it and go sit down with your mom and tell her what you see and how you feel..

Answer 6

Sounds alot like my Mother-In-Law, we tried speaking to her about it more than once but she just got overly defensive.
All I can suggest is to tell her how you feel, ask her if she has any reasons not to want to look after your children........without ruffling any feathers, and without making her upset!

Answer 7

IT happens all the time..........favoritism. since you mom doesn't favour you, you need not favor her. When she needs help, let her go to your sister and brother. Let them take care of her.

Answer 8

i feel for you.i really do.i go threw the same thing and around christmas.she gets my kids nothing.i try not to let it bother me but i cant help it.i cant understand it.but i guess we have to deal with it,take care