So I broke up with the guy I was seeing and I found out today that I'm pregnant. I tried to tell him and he won't give me the time of day and actually got his current girlfriend to call me back to tell me to stop calling. What do I do? There is no way that I can raise this baby on my own. How do I get him to listen? Help!!
2007-01-25 16:57:03 · 19 answers · asked by typical_mandi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just wanted to add the reason as to why I broke up with him. It was because he cheated on me with his ex (and now once again, current) girlfriend.
2007-01-26 02:10:57 · update #1
Well, there is a law thatyou could press on him. He has to pay you some money if he refuses to be apart of the childs life...I say take him to court.
2007-01-25 17:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well there are a lot of options.. We are out of the dark ages.. I would pay some one to deliver a letter with the information so you know he received it..{it's only a few dollars to ask some one in the neighborhood and every one is nosey by nature.. Thats the easy part.. I would do it if I was his neighbor, I like to know whats going on around me.. Give him a few days to think, try calling him again and if he stil doesnt answer you know that you tried and you can go on and make the decision that is right for you at this time.. I have a daughter that is 9 and I have raised her on my own and it is very tough and I never thought I would be on own a few monthes after she was born.. He is not there now!!
Where will he be when the child is born?? I bet he wont be there.. Do what is best for you, and IT is very hard and stressfull here in the middle of the night whenthe first of the month is around the corner and I am redoing my budget again tonight just to squeeze clothes and grocerys.. Best of Luck Rach
2007-01-25 17:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by rrcbrownbunny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well give yourself some credit - you're probably much stronger then you let yourself believe. While it's not easy raising a child alone - many people do it and their children turn out wonderfully.
The fact that he had his current girlfriend call you is silly - does he actually KNOW you're pregnant or have you had the chance to tell him? If he won't talk to you - call again and when his gf calls back tell her. I advise that you keep track of where he's working/living so when the baby is born you can take him to court and get him to pay child support.
2007-01-25 17:05:09 · answer #3 · answered by karespromise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't get a guy to be a daddy, but you can make him pay!
For now, I would suggest relaxing a little and taking care of yourself for the baby.... then when you are a little more relaxed, just keep trying to talk to him, calmly. He needs to know that he has a baby on the way. Hopefully he will come around and start talking to you.
If he doesn't - try not to stress too much. You can worry about the $$ a little later on.
Try to enjoy your pregnancy - it is an amazing experience that you don't want to ruin by getting sucked into a battle between you and the new couple (ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend)
All the best to you and Congrats!
2007-01-25 17:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by michellecdnd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is have the kid and order a dna test. Ya'll broke up and the "I'm pregnant" line is a well known trap. Once you do start to show, he'll probably deny it being his. That's where the dna test comes in. I'm assuming you are talking financially when you say 'raise the baby on your own'. If you're talking emotional support, the only thing you can do is get a backbone in 9 months....or find an understanding new boyfriend.
2007-01-25 17:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by unclewill67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there isn't anything you can do until the child is born and you submit for a DNA test to prove it is his child, and then go after him legally.
Until then, rely on friends, family, church, etc...anyone else for support during your pregnancy.
Give him a little time as well to process the news....it's probably just as unsettling for him as it is for you...and there really isn't that much to talk about if you have already made the decision to keep the child, until it is born. You aren't doing your baby any favors by stressing yourself out by calling him constantly.
You have at least 7 or 8 months right now to work out details...there is no need to talk right now...let things calm down a bit. Wait a month or two then call, and talk civilly...invite him to a dr appointment, then to coffee to talk. If he still doesn't want to....then deal with him after the baby is born and make your and the baby's health your #1 prioroty...which includes NO STRESS!
2007-01-25 17:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force him to listen to you. You can take him to court for child support once you give birth.
You should probably consider your options right now assuming that he's not going to be with you (and why would you want him around anyways?.. you broke up with him for a reason).
It's a tough situation you are in and perhaps it would help if you went to a clinic to talk to a counselor about your future.
I suggest you write your ex a letter telling him of the pregnancy and your plans and then leave him to do as he wishes until you take him to court for support if that is what you choose to do.
2007-01-25 17:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me very carefully:
He will never help you.
He doesnt want to help you.
If you fell off a cliff, he could care less.
Slap Dead Beat Dad with a child support order
Find some one else that will love you for who you are, not just anyone that is willing to help take care of your child.
You will raise this child by yourself and you will do a good job. This is the decision that has been made, therefore you must follow through. Or the other option is, give the child up for adoption and be ready to kiss it goodbye.
Time to grow up and be responsible for your actions, life is not always fair.
2007-01-25 17:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by bluestar_dreamsx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine that he is probably hurt that you broke up with him. How about sending him a letter w/ the info? Try calling when his new girlfriend isn't around.
While it is emotionally draining, you have plenty of time to worry about how you're going to get through to him. I'd say be consistent, don't apply too much pressure right away & he will probably turn around quick. Sounds like he is just hurt. Give him time.....
2007-01-25 17:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by Becca Lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go throught the pregnacy if you chose to once the child is born get a DNA test proving he's the father once you do that he may not have to spend time with the child but he will have to pay child support. Just remember to stay healthy that child did not ask to be made.
2007-01-25 17:04:07 · answer #10 · answered by Forsaken Rose 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have a lawyer call him. He's going to have to pay child support or sign adoption papers. What about going to a pregnancy center. Have one of the women there call him. (make sure it isn't one that does abortions. they will just pressure you not to call him and have an abortion.)
Or when you see him shout it out.
2007-01-25 17:04:22 · answer #11 · answered by Peggy Pirate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋