He throws my kids around wrestles. He won't stop when they tell him to stop or when I tell him to stop.
He laughs at me and makes fun of me in and picks on me, even in front of my kids and other family members because he thinks it is funny
My brother also blames me when I get upset or stand up for myself and lashes out at me for being stubborn or sensitive.
He puts me in the position of defending my decisions and choices and who I am.
He won't listen to me in person so I wrote him an email. He wrote me back really sarcastic and thinks that I am making it up (blaming me again). I want to stop attending family functions until he can show repsect to me and my kids... but then I would miss out on seeing all other family. I don't want my kids to be bullied and I refuse to be bullied as well, especially in front of my kids... what to do?
2007-01-25 16:48:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Think of it this way. How would he feel if a giant was wrestling with him and wouldn't stop because the giant thought it was fun. How would he feel... would he be upset? Would he feel bullied? Would he feel overwhelmed, powerless? Helpless? At the giants mercy?
2007-01-25 18:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well!!
If you choose to forego any family functions
because of your 'immature' brother then you have let him 'win'!
I want you to see this is a 'power' game with him, and if you let him win he'll just keep going for more..
You didn't mention a husband so I'm assuming he couldn't come to your rescue.
YOU', therefore have to defend yourself.
I would 'not' stand for 'ANYONE', not even family, to bully my kids, especially throwing them around and neither should you!!
If your brother is so 'ignorant' that he can't understand a warning from you, and a real concern for your kids, then I don't think I'd allow
him in my life any longer, especially the lives of my kids. He might end up hurting them physically sometime, but then it will be too late!!
I would try 'one more time' to get through to him, and if that doesn't work take a friend with you (as a witness) and encouragement, and tell
him face to face how and why you feel the way you do. Then give him a ultimatum, 'he either
treats you and your kids with respect or you will
contact 'legal services' and report him!!
And i am real serious here, no joking!!
This man is a menace, and a potential danger to your kids. If your family turns against you for such drastic measures, then you have done whats best for YOU and your KIDS 'NOT THEM'!!!
2007-01-25 18:50:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing to do is don't go around your brother. If that means missing out on the family fish fry, so be it. Let everyone know the reason you aren't attending is your brother. Unless they think like he does, they'll chastise him and make him stay away so you and your kids can come around. If something happens again, and he's picking on your kids, get an uncle to step in and tell bubba to sit his butt down and behave. Put him in the spotlight of humiliation for a change.
2007-01-25 17:01:11 · answer #3 · answered by unclewill67 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you miss a few family get togethers because of him, everyone will see that you're serious and the rest of the family may help you by pressuring him to abide by your requests. You aren't being unreasonable to expect respect, especially in front of your kids. He wouldn't treat a friend the way he's treating you or he wouldn't have any! If you do show up for a family event and he starts his stuff leave immediately, just take your kids and go. Good Luck! =)
2007-01-25 17:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by DB 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I truly applaud for your effort in putting an end to this situation. This is really hard for me to address my advice to you because my suggest may back fire. Therefore, it is only best to read both ideas.
Sometimes the best way for a person to learn their faults is to turn the situation against him. Have your kids to really rough house with him including kicking him between the legs, and throw things at him. If wants to play rough, have your kids to teach him what rough is. Have your kids to understand this is only a manner of teaching him lesson only. Have them to understand this is NOT the normal behavior toward adults.
FORGIVE ME FOR THAT SUGGEST
My second suggesting is to find several family members who concurred with you and when he starts the rough housing with your kids, have those relatives to rough house with him, but moving your kids aside and watch what happens. Allow this to continue until he understands that crossing the boundaries can hurt!!! I really hope I have help.
2007-01-25 17:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my step father who likes to belittle me and be sarcastic too. I have refused to go to any more family get togethers. When asked why I don't attend them, I tell the truth. I visit my mom when he is not around. Good luck, and stick up for yourself you are being a good example for your kids.
2007-01-25 17:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to protect your kids. Avoid him or if he starts annoying them, leave. Don't bother trying to explain to that clod again-just don't tolerate his bullying you or the kids. Go, but leave if you have to until he gets the message.
2007-01-25 17:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by life coach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with "2Bme" I like her opinion and what she is doing and fully agree with her!
2007-01-25 17:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋