2007-01-25 16:48:10 · 27 answers · asked by Abigael P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
hi,
Its your choice hun if you're not sure then maybe your not ready for marriage just yet but thats not to say you won't be in a few years time. I'm 20 and planning with my fiance to get married in two years time and we've been engaged since we were both 18 so have had a fairly long engagement. But its up to you theres no rush to get married and if you love each other you'll be able to wait until whenever you feel ready. Don't be pressured into anything, take your time and just enjoy your engagement.
Good luck.
2007-01-26 03:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not sure then don't do it. You know in your heart what is right. You are still young. I know you think your not so young, I was 21 not too long ago, I remember. But in a few years you will look back and see the difference in yourself. I am thankful that I waited. We have been in a committed relationship for a number of years and are now getting married. If we would have married at 21 we'd probably not still be together. Now I'm confident that we were meant for each other and that is a wonderful feeling. To know that it's right and your excited about spending the rest of your life with that person by your side. Marriage is a binding contract to be taken seriously, if your not 100% sure don't marry him. Don't wait until and year after being married and decide I don't want to be married anymore. On another side make sure it's not just cold feet. Are you nervous?? Why? Are they serious issues. Talk to your fiance. What does he have to say??
2007-01-26 02:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by tiger4mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that statistic about 50% of marriages ending in divorce? I recently read that it's an average - the average divorce rate for people who get married before 25 is over 60%. If you wait until after you're 25, the divorce rate is 25%. So, you drastically change your odds by waiting.
If you think about it, there's a good chance our generation will live to be 100. When our parents were getting married it was closer to 70, so getting married at 20 was not out of the question.
There's so much you learn about yourself in your early 20s. I've been in that situation - but the BEST thing we ever did was spend some time apart (even if it's 6 months going to school, or moving to a different town - just something to separate you). I found I was often wondering, "what if I met someone else?" or "is this the best thing out there?" and I knew I'd never find that out if I stayed together with this person.
A good friend of mine is now married to someone she dated in high school - they broke up after school, did their own thing in college, and 4-5 years they were still interested in each other. They both said they had experiences they never would have had if they had stayed together during those years, and there's no doubt about their marriage because of it. It'll work itself out if it's the right thing. The hardest part is taking the step away!
2007-01-26 01:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by Pook 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
21 is really young to be engaged and/or married.
You and your spouse will change so much in your twenties that what you think you you know and want now will be vastly different than what you will want 10 years from now.
It all depends how much you love each other and what your relationship is based on.
Ask yourself this question.................
" Do I love this person enough to live under a bridge in a cardboard box?"
If you answer yes you love them very much
If you answer no you're not ready to commit to a life with this person.
How well do you know each other?
Do you have similar interests?
Do you laugh together?
Age is one thing but maturity is a better measure. Are you both mature enough to get married and ready to raise kids if any come along?
Do you have the financial funds ready to live together?
Will getting married prevent you from reaching other goals such as school?
You can ask close friends and family how they feel about you getting married. I'm not saying to let them answer the question for you but others can sometimes see things you may not.
Engagement is a time to get to know each other. Take the time needed until you know for sure whether you are ready or not ready to get married and if it's the right person.
If you have any doubts don't be pressured into doing something you don't want to!!!!!!!!!!!
Follow your heart but think with your head,and you will find your answer.
2007-01-26 01:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by Susan C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hiya
I was almost 21 yrs old when I got married. Don't get me wrong, it felt right at the time and I honestly thought that I could see myself being with my hubby for the rest of my life.
Now 16 yrs down the line and 3 kids later, sometimes I'd wished I'd held off and 'lived' a little for a longer time before getting settled or even perhaps lived with the guy beforehand. It is definitely hardwork and the responsibilities that come with marriage/kids can really push you to your limitations.
You are already asking that question and to me you've answered it yourself. Prevent any heartbreak before you get married as it is a lot harder to deal with afterwards.
2007-01-26 04:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take if from someone who has been married several times (ME) if you really are NOT sure don't go through with the marriage at this time. You will only hurt the ones you love and if a child is coming right now before you say I do it's what's in your heart that matter's most. Talk it over with your intended and explain your feelings. What's the worst that could happen you don't get married right now? Be true to yourself if you want a long long marriage and a happy one too.
2007-01-26 01:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Diana T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are having second thoughts you should break the engagement or just post pone it. The longer you wait the harder it will be for you to decide what to do. Until the actual marriage you have to look out for your best interest. You need to make a list of the reasons for getting married and the reasons not just to make sure that its not pre wedding gidders. This is a very important choice on your part. It is better to stop it now than to wait until their are children and other things involved to make the choice harder. Nothing worth having is easy they might not be the right one.
2007-01-26 01:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by unicorncaptin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if you have doubts talk with your partner about it. If the doubts are very high, then break it off. This will be a difficult time for your partner, but break it slowly and with kindess and patience. Explain how you feel. Be ready for crying, anger and resentment.
Also at 21, you have plenty of time to get married. Don't rush into marriage especially if you are unsure, because no matter what, you will be dealing with that person for life, even if you get divorce.
2007-01-26 00:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by wknightf3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have these questions in mind and you don't know the answer for these questions, then I don't think that you're ready to get married. If you love your partner then you should make a long engagement though so you will think about it.
2007-01-26 02:24:09 · answer #9 · answered by Falcon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't go the whole way, and see how things progress. As some have said have a long engagement although the breakup will probably be just as upsetting at least there will be no necessity for divorce.
2007-01-26 01:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋