do men that reject and deny the pregnancy tend to change and love the baby once he/she is born?
my husband wants me to give the baby up for adoption, and this is very upsetting. this was a planned pregnancy and now that im about 7 months he tells me that he doesnt want to have a child this early. he has yet to tell his parents and thinks that he can put off the fact that come april we will have a baby. every time i ask about getting baby stuff he changes the subject or ignores me. i just hope that once the baby is born he will be able to open his heart and actually love our newborn.
has your husband or boyfriend ever try to ignore the pregnancy but turn out to love the baby?
2007-01-25 16:30:02 · 12 answers · asked by tru_blu 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
yes sometimes it does happen. but you need to make a plan for yourself and your baby without him right now. so you are not left confused and alone if he doesn't come around. adoption is a very personal and brave choice, only if both parents agree to it. and it sounds like you do not have any intention of doing so. your hormones are racing right now, so just tell him what you think, and what you are going to do and be done with it. i know it's easier said than done, but don't spend precious time with your newborn worrying over wether or not the baby's father will step up or not. he's just as responsible as you are, and should be held to that. good luck to you.
2007-01-25 16:38:19 · answer #1 · answered by cagney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes someone can change, but from the way you say he is acting, i highly doubt he will. One of my friends had a baby, and her boyfriend was great, very supportive until they had the ultrasound and found out it was a girl. Now he refuses to take care of the baby, and if he is left alone with it, he takes it to his mothers house and says he can't deal with it. Did this happen to you? Did you find out the sex of the baby and then he became uncaring??? You say he hasn't told his parents yet? So if all of a sudden overnight he now has a baby, how is he going to tell them? Oh by the way, we've been avoiding you for 9 months and now we have a kid, sorry we didn't let you know you'd be grandparents, but now it's kinda sprung on you. That doesn't sound good. And if you're married, why haven't YOU called the in laws and told them yourself? I'm not blaming you for this situation. He has put you in a rut. If the time comes and the baby arrives and he is still not supporting you, i would suggest leaving him to do what is best for your child. If he really does not want the kid, i'd be afraid of its safety and what he might do if you weren't around.
2007-01-25 20:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes, I haven't had that problem, but after having my son, my husband was really scared that he wouldn't be a good father... yet it came so natural, and he did so well even though he had no idea how to even change a diaper. Now, our son had colic the first 2 1/2 months - crying non-stop for hours later at night- we'd do everything, and the crying wouldn't stop! And it's been so much work... even when our son is teething it can get really bad. My husband (which breaks my heart) has told me he NEVER wants another child... never. he said he just can't handle the crying,a nd wouldnt' be able to do it again it was too much... (my son is 15 months old now- almost 16 months). Anyways, it kind of goes along with this, just at different times... there are times I feel like a single mother because I make my husband leave to go for a walk, go to a store, something to get out of the house... I'm more patient- babies way of communicating is crying, so I can handle it much better- wish I had a way to help my husband. So yes this is difficult for me at times.
Let me say this though- the love you feel for your baby when he/she is born is amazing-undescribable... you'll see soon.. and so will your husband. I think he will come around, he may be scared. Either way, try to hang in there. I keep telling my husband all babies are different-our next may not be as fussy or have colic... he doesn't wanna listen to me right now :( But I'm hoping in a few yrs he will change his mind- once our son gets to the age where he can communicate with us more, it will be sooo much more easier I feel. Yes, teaching them from right and wrong will be tough, but they are learning... so I guess it all depends on the person and how well they can get through the tough times. I truly hope for you your husband will come around. You and your baby deserve it. I really wouldn't give this baby up- seriously, I can't describe to you - I cried after my son was born (it was a c-section and I was put under-but once I first saw him and got to hold him) it was a blessing, he was so beautiful, my own baby that I helped make, so precious, so innocent, a part of me. My son brings me sooo much joy even through all the crying. He can't help it. He gives me kisses, hugs all the time. He says de do for thank you- it's just too cute. He's so kind and caring. You'll get a great joy from your daughter/son when they are born. Stick with it all, you will make a great Mommy, and hopefully your husband will turn around too.
2007-01-25 16:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by lovingmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he's depressed. additionally, you weren't in any respect married. you probably did each and every thing at the same time, yet on no account made a continuously dedication. i'm no longer announcing you ought to get married now, purely stating what occurred. maybe you may first discuss with a pastor concerning the main needed relationship, that with God. Secondly, discover some stability on your existence, guard your toddler and your self. If the toddler's father needs to get well and make a dedication to you and your toddler, attempt him for an suitable volume of time. don't be hasty.
2016-11-01 07:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by trevathan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not gone thru this, really. The only thing I can really compare is that my husband really wanted a boy for our 1st child. When we went to the u/s to check to sex, Doc said it was a girl and you could just see the the excitement drain from his face. He was so disappointed. I was afraid that he would not love our baby when she came or that he might be distant or even mistreat her. But from the moment she was born he was the 1st to hold her and she's been daddy's little girl ever since. He even said he wanted a girl the 2nd time around but he ended up getting his boy after all.
My heart desparately hopes that he comes around. But like the other person said...Scott Peterson....take care of yourself
2007-01-25 17:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by LYRICSORUS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2007-01-26 10:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by Garnet A 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you HUSBAND wants to give your baby away? seriously? why did you marry someone like that? i wouldn't wan to guess whether he will love the baby later or not.. some men do and some cant seem to form an emotional bond to anything.
2007-01-25 16:36:03 · answer #7 · answered by Mina222 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, sometimes they love the baby more than anything after it's born and sometimes they don't.He's probably just nervous, especially if this is his first child.I'd just wait and give him time.
2007-01-27 05:27:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scott Peterson ring a bell........
you married an ***.......let the people around you know what is going on...maybe they can talk some sense into him......
and if his feelings don't change..If I was you, I wouldn't stick around......
2007-01-25 16:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by LeftField360 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he doesnt take care of the baby find someone who will
2007-01-29 08:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋