How do you handle the situation where the uncle is wrestling with the kids and won't stop when they say 'stop'

Question

I can't physically stop him. He won't respect my 'no' and he won't stop even when my kids say 'owe'. It starts off fun and he gets carried away. He is an adult, but won't respect it when I say enough. He throws my baby around and I tell him to stop and he laughs at me for being an overprotective mom. He thinks he is doing what all guys do, and that kids need to learn to be around a man... (their dad left). He once fed my 1 month old whipping cream behind my back of course because he'd knew I'd be upset. I tell him to stop, and he turns around and lashes out at me. How do I stop him... I don't want to miss family functions and miss seeing everyone, to set bounderies with him. Although I would love to say. 'when you can respect us, then you can see us'.. but then I wouldn't see other familes either.

i have told him in a letter and in person (both in the moment and out of the moment). He won't listen.. he thinks I am the problem... I am too sensitve... I am too gentle... I am to overprotective

Answer 1

put yourself in your child's shoes. This man that she adores.. is suddenly playing with her. It is fun. Then he gets rougher... so you say 'ouch' and he keeps hurting you. Now you panic. You say 'stop' and he laughs and your mom sits there.... It needs to stop. Even if you stop seeing him

Answer 2

If you do not get him to understand now. . you never will. Tell him that these children are your children and that if he can not respect you and quit when the kids ask him too that you will have to ask him not to come over anymore. This will make things tense.. but your children are your wellbeing and he needs to back down. I would have been furious if someone would have fed my son whipping cream at 1 month as well. Do not let him take over your children.. once they see him lash out at you .. your children will follow his doings and lash out as well. Tell him to leave, and take a break from you and the kids for a while till he can respect you and if that does not work .. get other family members involved to back you up.. so maybe he will catch the hint!

Answer 3

Your kids, your rules. Real simple. Sometimes you have to get tough and it sounds like you need to have a real heart to heart talk with Uncle without children around. Be clear, consise and set boundries. Don't make a threat you can't or won't follow through with. But don't let this continue...even if you do have to limit visits for a while. You'll be better off in the long run. They are not learning anything from his behavior. Good luck.

Answer 4

IMO... i wouldn't have my kids around him.. I child needs to know when He says stop that person should stop.. It's abuse if he is hurting them, and I think you might feel the same way.. you don't need that kind of man around your children even if he is your brother.. maybe you can go to family functions after he leave for don't give him a chance to be around your kids..
And if other family memeber don't like it then I guess they don't respect you .. Good Luck It's hard to be a single parent.. but there are alot of rewards that go with it.. Infact I find it too be much easier.

Answer 5

Noone-and i mean NOONE is gonna do something to my kids that I don't want them to do. Family or not. Obviously he doesn't respect being a family member or he would respect you. Why are you so afraid of missing being around him if he is really just tormenting your children. You need to get a grip and take care of your kids. They can't help themselves. It's up to YOU! If you don't protect them, then who will? It is a natural motherly instinct to protect your kids. Even animals do that with their babies. This question just did nothing but aggravate me. Take care of your babies. It is your responsibility. If it p***** the family off because you stay away, then they have problems too!

Answer 6

Don't be around him, and tell everyone why.

My kids had a couple of uncles that concerned themselves with whether my well behaved sons and their reserved father were the makings of "sissies" when the boys became grown. It was not as all as serious as the situation you describe, but I got sick of hearing that I was over-protective. My sons are grown and as masculine as any young man should be. They are not mud-headed goons, but being a goon does equal being a masculine man.

Your children's uncle has no right to touch your children, to feed them anything with you permission, or to have an opinion about what they do or don't do. He is a brainless goon who does not respect you, and his actions have the potential of causing harm to your children. Firmly tell the relatives you aren't going to be subjected to his ignorance and lack of respect for you, and you're not going to subject your children to the influence of a goon; and if he wants to shut up, leave your kids alone, and behave maybe you'll consider showing up for Christmas dinner next year.

See the other people separately; and if you can't see them its unfortunate but not worth what you're going through and the risk to your children, particularly your baby.

Answer 7

I agree with everyone else, this guy is doing more harm then good being around your kids, the other family members ( if they really care ) will have to come see you and your kids some other time....do everything you can to avoid that MANIAC until he is ready to respect your wishes - geez stand up for yourself and your children!!

Answer 8

your kids come first. Stay away from him but invite the rest of the family over so you see them. He will get the message . Also have a chat to your parents on how to deal with him. Hopefully they can back you up

Answer 9

Think about it this way: How would you feel if something were to seriously happen to one of your kids during one of these wrestling sessions? I'd not only tell him seriously (and while he's not wrestling) that you mean business but I'd put it in a letter too. You don't have to be mean but you do have to be firm.

Answer 10

Since you are the parent (or at least CLAIM to be) Then you DO have control over the situation. "I don't want to miss family functions and miss seeing everyone" This one statement says it all. It's NOT all about YOU, it is about your chldren and them being ABUSED, yes abused, anytime they get hurt and you do NOTHING about it that IS abuse. You are allowing this "uncle" to abuse your children because YOU don't want to miss family functions. So which is more important, your CHILDREN'S physical health or showing up at family functions...

Answer 11

Your children are your first priority ahead of your parents and siblings and it is your responsibility to raise them as you see fit. being a sole parent you are your own boss and dont have to answer to anyone. Say what you feel to him and as for others who may not like your decision ask them if they would allow him to throw their children around stand up for yourself this will make you stronger and your children will respect you for it. This is about them not him he sounds like an idiot who needs him.