Family Issue?

Question

My mom is going through a crisis right now, I wont go into detail but it's pretty bad. I still live at home with her and my dad working on getting a college degree. Well the other day, my mom asked my for money, well not money money but cash off of a credit card. Just for some reason it didn't sit right with me...I feel awful that I would think not to give her the money I really do. But it's not every day parents ask YOU for money. I asked her to let me think for a second and all of the sudden she freaked and was like "NEVERMIND" and when my father found out...I got in sooo much trouble. I still want to help my mother out but in a different way..not through a credit card, but she wont even talk to me, and to top it all off...my dad has called my selfish at least 200000 times in the last 2 hours. I love my mom so much I would do anything for her, please guys give me your opinion! Was I being selfish? How can I make it better and offer her my help? Thanks!

Oh and by the way...my mother is someone who hold grudges! BIG time...I mean like crazy...

I never said I wouldn't give the money... I said I needed to think about giving it to her "that way". Through a money now credit card would cost intrest and the bill would be higher then it needs. I offered her my credit card that has zero intrest right now so that she wouldn't have to over pay. But the way I said "let me think" made her upset...I really don't know.

Answer 1

Try to talk to her calmly, without being judgmental, especially if she is going through a crisis. I know the asking of the money didn't sit well with you but obviously she felt she needed it. If asking for money like this is a pattern with her I would say nope, don't give it to her, but if this is a rarity then you need to let her know that you are there for her. I am assuming that she is not hurt by not getting the money but by possibly the rejection from you. Good Luck to you!!!

Answer 2

I think it was wrong of your mother to get so angry with you regarding such a personal matter. I can tell you care for your parents a lot and that is another reason she should understand. She shouldnt use her crisis against you and you shouldn't have been treated with this disrespect that she showed you. I think that when such a big decision is to be made you should be able to say I need time to think and they should respect your decision no matter what you may decide. Your parents should also be thankful for you willing to give them a monetary support instead of blowing up and making you feel like you are selfish and you are a good person for being there and helping them in anyway you can. Hope that makes sense and helps you in some way.
Take Care!!

Answer 3

I don't think you were being selfish. Your mother didn't give you a chance to say or do anything after you said let you think about it. If I was your mother I would have listened to why. I think she should have been willing to have cash money not credit card money, paper money is so much easier to deal with. My mom don't ask me for money but she does ask me to buy things for her (little things like pop, cigs, milk) & Im 37 living away from home. I don't mind buying things for her. I think your mom just handled it wrong. I think you should talk to both your parents & explain that you didn't say no to the money.

Answer 4

first of all....what kind of parent would ask their child for money? I don't care how old you are, but you are entitled to your gut reaction to stop and think about it. Do you know how many families quarrel over money issues? Do you know how many families don't talk to each other because someone cannot or will not repay a debt? I'm not saying that you shouldn't loan your mother money, but you do have the right to think about whether or not you should take a cash advance from your credit card....after all YOU are the one that is responsible for paying it back and it is YOUR credit that it will affect if you cannot re-pay it. You have to ask yourself, what is it that she needs this money so desperately for in the first place. If it's to pay another debt, then maybe credit counseling would be a suggestion. Will she borrow money from someone else to re-pay you? Anytime ANYONE asks to borrow money, think about whether or not you have it to lose, because chances are you may never see it again!

Answer 5

If it didn't sit right with you then that is your instinct, and you should never go against that. That said if it was weirding you out that a parent would ask a child for money then that is kinda selfish.

Maybe you try sitting your Dad down and explain to him that it felt weird, and describe the feeling you got. Explain that you weren't trying to hurt her feelings. Ask you Dad what she needed the money for and go and do the errand she needed doing.

Your Mum just needs some time to cool down before you are able to discuss this with her. If you offer her your help now then you are going to make her feel worse, because then she will feel that you are doing it out of duty.

Ask you Dad the best way of helping.

Answer 6

moral dilemma I know...but...

did you stop to consider exactly how much money was spent by your parents raising you getting you things you wanted before you could support yourself...we're talking tens of thousands here...

now since you didn't go into detail of what your mother is going through, provided you know the money is going to something importnat, and not to aid in a drug habit (or problems caused due to one) then you should find a way to help your mom out...be it an advance on your credit card or some other means.

Answer 7

It's sounds like your parents might be having a money problem. Maybe you can help by cutting way back on your spending and maybe help them have a garage sale, sounds dorky but anything helps. Parents do crazy things when they get stressed out and I can guarentee you that it's not your fault. Parents should never tell your their problems because you have your own life to live that can be extremely stressing, and can cause alot of grief. So tell her you love her and you will try and help on finding ways to help up the budget.

Answer 8

I don't understand why you wouldn't give your mother money, especially seeing as how you still live at home with her. Honestly, I think it was selfish... Why don't you just go ATM out the amount of money that she requested and give it to her and say "My mind was on other things earlier when you asked for this, really it had nothing to do with you, here's the money."

Answer 9

If she is going through a tough time she may be a little edgy about everything. Give her a hug and tell her you love her and show real emotion...that melts a mothers heart..I would know..
Just tell her she caught you off guard and you couldn't think.
Which I'm sure is true...you do not sound like an unfeeling person. I understand how this could happen.

Answer 10

Your under there roof, if they need the money there should be no questions asked, if it where a sister or brother then yes find out what it's for but your mother and father, just give them the money.