I was married recently. It didn't turn out the way I wished it would have especially since I had no help. (My mom was married in city hall). Does any else out there think that a wedding is too expensive/complicated. I should have just went to City Hall!! Has anyone gone through this bad experience and if so did you have another wedding later down the road or did something else special. I can't stop regretting. I'm happily married but embarrassed.
2007-01-25 15:54:27 · 15 answers · asked by Cristina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Get over it, half of marriages end in divorce so your next wedding you can go all out with the money you saved from your first marriage
2007-01-25 16:01:45 · answer #1 · answered by colbydog43 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Weddings have got more and more showy as the years have gone by, the tradition to spend one month salary on an engagement ring has gone up to 3 months according to this site (although one month is a lot of money and I would not expect or desire a ring that cost that much!) People place too much importance on the showing off and having the most lavish event, if they can afford then good for them, but so many couples get into huge debt. I have had the big white wedding, and my marriage was over in less than 4 years, so there is no guarantee that a fairy tale event will keep a couple together. This time around it will be small and intimate, with the emphasis on us actually getting married, rather than having a big showy day.
2007-01-25 22:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We got married at the justice of the peace, and married 18+ years.
Yes, the value of the wedding event itself is exaggerated/overrated.
Yes, weddings are too expensive and lavish, as a rule.
Yes, an expensive, perfect wedding won't make a better marriage.
Yes, a cheap wedding or one that doesn't go as planned is not a bad omen.
Yes, an expensive lavish wedding that goes off like a Hollywood top production may end in divorce a year later anyway.
It's about commitment, and working at it. Happily married but regretting what? The prize is the happy marriage, not the happy wedding, and few there are that ever get both.
That about covers it.
.
2007-01-25 16:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by gene_frequency 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't be blamed for the way it went. Weddings have a way of getting waaaaay out of hand with everyone else's influence. I'm sorry you're unhappy with how it turned out, but nothing can change that. Usually the best thing to do is just let it go. If your embarrassment needs a fix, then have a nice first anniversary party done the way you want it. Make all the plans then tell people about it. They'll see your style then and know that the wedding was overblown.
2007-01-26 04:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't regret it! My boyfriend and I have not married because of the cost. He is begging me just to go to City Hall, but I do want something a little more romantic. I have been to many weddings and they were a lot of fun, but very costly. I know at least three people who are paying off their $20,000- 40,000 debt. If that is what you did then I take it back, you should regret it.
I've decided to have my wedding on the beach. They set up a nice place to marry and outside tents for your reception (should be und $2,000) My dad is getting a casual restaurant to cater (will be cheap, it's my dad's friend). I found a casual white dress for $50. We have someone in the family who is a photogropher and will take the pictures for free. So, I'll have a day to remember for under $3k.
2007-01-25 16:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My wedding didn't turn out bad, but I wished I would have had a very small church wedding with a small reception afterward. Leaving out the band, the huge meal, etc. I did have help from my parents and they let me do pretty much what I wanted, but I wish now I would have done it much smaller and taken the left over money and put a down payment on a house or a new car or something. I have urged my daughter to do the same.
2007-01-25 16:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad you didn't have the wedding you wanted; I guess you could have thought it through or planned better. Hope it's not a bad omen for you, but I'm sad you are left with bad memories.
Of course no one would have another wedding down the road... that would be silly. Once married, that's it ... no matter what the circumstances were the first time, that's the ceremony which was important.
I have tremendously good memories of our wedding, and most things turned out just as we wanted. It was just a nice, traditional family wedding, with just under 200 guests - nothing fancy-dancy, but just nice.
2007-01-25 23:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel your pain. I had 3 months to pull off my formal wedding and I did it but I now say that I wouldn't recommend a wedding to anyone. We should've gone to Vegas! I also had no help and ended up doing my own cake (3-tier!!) and bouquets. I personally would never get married again, and antbody reading this, it's not worth the hassle. We would've been just as happy and saved a lot of money with a civil ceremony at the courthouse!
2007-01-25 16:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by bigclaire 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to see examples of weddings gone wrong (or tell your own sad tale), I highly recommend Etiquette Hell:
http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_main/gen/eh_index.shtml
Yes, I think weddings are far too expensive and complicated. My husband and I looked into things, and decided to elope. I think we made the right decision, at least for us.
2007-01-25 16:06:48 · answer #9 · answered by stenobrachius 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget About it. You're probably thinking that everyone was laughing at you, when really, they don't care. Soon as something else happens, they've forgotten all about your wedding.
Done is done. Remarrying now would only make the first time seem worse than it was.
Maybe think about renewing vows on the 25th or 50th anniversary. Other than that, forget it.
2007-01-25 16:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh, what happened?
Yes, I do think that weddings are too expensive. I'm not sure about complicated since I'm not doing the planning myself.
2007-01-25 16:02:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋