Is it wrong to have a big family if you won't be able to afford the special things for them?

Question

Is it wrong to have a lot of children if you aren't going to be able to buy brand new clothes for them, or name-brand food, or separate bedrooms for them?

Answer 1

I say a person may like a Brand-name item for a little while, but love is eternity, so the bond you have with your children, and the value of love- along with providing for a child's needs-the essentials in life is more important than pricey items- that's all they are- things. I shared a bedroom with my younger brother for at least 6 yrs until my parents could afford a larger home with more bedrooms. We didn't have any problems. Then we outgrew the next house when my mom had another child who shared it with my brother and I had my seperate bedroom... by then, my parents were better off, and could afford to sell this house and buy an even bigger new one. So I say just remember "things" come and go, but love is always there- at least I hope! :)

Answer 2

Absolutely not! I mean, I think it's horrible and quite ironic that the most poverty stricken always seem to be the ones with 10 kids, but if you're just talking not able to go to the movies all the time and buy clothes from Nordstrom's...Brand new clothes aren't a need, and with kids who grow constantly it's not even practical. Name brand foods often are no better than the off-brands, the only thing you're paying for is that name and the pretty package, which isn't important. As for separate rooms, I don't think boys and girls should share rooms, but I think many a grown-up has fond memories of sharing a room with a same-sex sibling, especially one close in age. The things you've mentioned aren't important things in the world of child rearing. Now, if you couldn't afford somewhere to live, that's definitely not the time to decide to go out and have unprotected sex allowing another child to possibly enter the world in poverty. But if you have food, shelter, and the ability to clothe your kids, great! Also, if everyone waited till there was enough money to have kids, most of us would never have them, b/c there will always be something that needs paying.

Answer 3

No. If you cannot afford food for them that's a different story. Call me cheap but I don't really care what brand food goes into me as long as it's edible. Many kids aren't interested in name-brand food at all! Brand-new clothes I can understand why that is questionable though consignment stores and good will do have some pretty good bargains a lot of the time. As for separate bedrooms--my sister and I shared a room [by choice!] until I was 15 years old! We preferred to have the extra room as a den for when friends came over.

I feel bigger families do not even realize what they don't have. Many people don't realize what they DON'T have until they lose something they do and have to budget.

Growing up I didn't realize food cost as much money that it does nor did I care what I ate. I didn't care if I got hand-me downs from my sister. I was just grateful for everything that I had.

Answer 4

The things you mentioned aren't really important and shouldn't take priority. However, kids do need many things simply to have a good start in life. Your responsibility doesn't end with just getting them fed and clothed for right now. What about the long-run? Have you checked into college tuition lately? Already it's hard to get a decent job without a college degree and in 10-15 years it will be worse. Do you want your kids to spend the rest of their adult lives barely breaking even, unable to buy a home, or afford their own family?

I also think it's selfish to assume that because YOU are ok with making it on so little, your kids will be too.

Sure, looking back we were growing up very happy because we didn't know what the real world was like, but now all of us are very frustrated adults who had to give up a lot of our dreams because we were given so little to start out with. I find that the whole "family love is all you need" formula only works in theory and in reality constant economic hardship causes stress and misery like few other things.

Just food for thought...

Answer 5

I learned early that having money and all the finest things is not everything in life. I still know people who haven't realized that, and care more about what they have, than who they have. It makes me want to scream somtimes! lol...If you want a big family, have a big family...Just make sure you can give them everything they NEED, and a little of what they want. That's how I was raised and I wouldn't have it any other way. It tought me how to be independent and self sufficient. I shared a bedroom with one of my siblings and it was great...we are best friends today....and so what if you can't have the finest clothes...There's nothing wrong with hand me downs, and you can get some great deals at outlet stores! Name brands without the price! I have learned how to bargain shop and it makes me feel good to find a good deal...I don't think your kids will be deprived in any way...as long as you give them a loving home, teach them good values, and emphasize the important things in life. It's sad that some people never grasp what's really important and meaningful. Hope this helps you out a little...Best wishes to you and yours :)

Answer 6

It depends. I grew up 1 of 6 kids. We weren't well off or anything, but we weren't poor either. We definately wore hand me downs and made the best of things. I remember times that I wish we had more, but I wouldn't change my childhood in a big family for anything, because the people I have in my life are far more worth any brand name clothes or anything like that.
BUT on the other hand, you have to be realistic with it. Children need health insurance, food, clothes and alot of things. Whether it be brand name or not. I also think brand name things are overrated, but kids go to school and see other kids with those things and other kids can make them feel inadequate just because they don't "fit in". Trust me, I know the feeling. And it's hard to go to school and wish you had things others have and you just can't afford them. I think everyone should live within their means. I don't believe in bringing children into the world and maybe have times they have to go to bed hungry or anything like that (never experienced that). If you have the means to support them, then okay, but if you are like poverty stricken, then definately don't bring a household full of children into that misery to suffer with you, because they have no choice. Nuff said...

Answer 7

No it isn't wrong & U don't need name brand items as well the store brand items are the same just cheaper & they taste great the store brand clothes are just as good as the name brands and you don't need separte bedrooms we shared when we were growing up & I had 2 sisters & a brother plus step sisters 4 of them & 8 step brothers lol

Answer 8

wow. You base a good life on material possesions don't you. Haveing a family is more than a lot of people out there. Brand names are over rated and many kids share a bedroom and look back with fond memories. Kids get too much these days that they don't need. I would have loved to have more brothers and sisters growing up

Answer 9

It's not wrong to not have "brand name" clothes or toilet paper. Weather your family is large or small. There is nothing wrong with sharing a bedroom...the problem comes in when families live on welfare for years and years.. No matter the size of your family you should be prepared to support and protect your family. Not depend on the government to do it for you.

Answer 10

I didn't have brand new clothes or a separate bedroom, but I do have three siblings who I love dearly and can't imagine life without.

It's one thing to not be able to afford insurance. But those things that you list are not so important.