Help w/ rude people...?

Question

My daughter is four and a half and I tall for her age. I am always getting stupid comments from people, like isn't she to old to want that (little people) or isn't she to old to be acting like that (just acting her age) and the rudest comment we have ever recieved was the other day, my daughter was looking at a book in line at a store and someone said, wow, she really should be reading by now! I get upset, but usually just ignore it, however my poor daughter ends up getting very embaressed & crying. I try to explain to her some people are just silly (nice word). But what can I say to people to put them in there place without blurting something stupid, any advice welcome!

Answer 1

I feel for you - it must be so frustrating! Just remember to keep your cool (keeping in mind that it is just another of life's learning lessons for your daughter - as well as you too). So, how you handle it is important for both of you.
My only suggestion would be, the next time you have an encounter like the ones described - is to turn, with a smile on your face and pleasantly say - " Oh, I've learned earlier in life to not a judge a book buy it's cover". I believe this said will turn the tables and maybe they will actually think about what they said or assumed.
But even though you might get really mad inside, please remember that how you handle it is going to be watched and learned by your daughter.

Answer 2

OMG I would freak, but you cant because your little girl is there, look them in the eye, say "Excuse me, i would rather you not make comments about my beautiful 4 year old daughter, & instead of judging other people, take a look at yourself, how do you think you have just made my little girl feel, I think you need to grow up & think before you speak" anyway you have then stood your ground politley, & also let your beautiful little girl she is beautiful, & when you walk away you tell your daughter, people are just jelouse. People can be so nasty & they should just mind their own business. good luck, & dont worry about what people say, they are rude & have nothing else better to do, I could never go up to someone & say something about their child, I know alot of tall children your daughters age, my husbands cousin is only 1 year old & stands taller than my 2 and half year old neice, it is not a big deal, except when she is older, everyone will wish they were her, she sounds like a lucky little girl.

Answer 3

Always take the high road, don't get rude right back.
I always tell my students that it is more important to be kind than to be right.
Be calm and do reply with a neutral statement about her being 4 years old and lucky to be tall already.
You are modeling the behavior you wish her to imitate, and this is an opportunity to teach her that she is in control of herself when people push those buttons.
Also maybe read a book by Gavin De Becker, "Keeping The Gift", which is all-around great, and especially for learning how to be viewed as less approachable re. these types of remarks.
Hang in there Mom, you sound like you are doing a good job!

Answer 4

My husband went through this as a child also. He's now 6"8! Anyway, he was active in YMCA sports (regulated by age) and everyone would yell at him that he was too old to be playing with the kids in his own age range. He still remembers kid's parents getting so upset that he was playing but was so big.

His parents took it with a grain of salt. While my husband's feelings did get hurt they would just try to laugh it off and tell him he's just so much more "advanced" or "smarter" then kids his own age.

I know it's got to be tough but you'll both get through it. Try to explain to her that she is tall for her age and she does look older. You could even use it as an opportunity to teach her not to judge others. I'm sure after explanation as to why these people are saying such mean things she'll have a better understanding. Always give her praise about her height without making it a huge deal so she's confident about it.

As for dealing with her parents politely tell them that you find it very rude that they are asking things like that. Explain to them also that your daughter is just four and a half years old. Maybe it'll teach THEM a lesson too. Best of Luck!

Answer 5

Your response should be No. 1 She's 4 No.2 If I either desired or deemed your opinion necessary I would have asked for it.
If they get huffy to about being put in their place tell them stupid people open their mouth before engaging their brain.
Explain to your daughter that she looks older than she is so some people will say things without knowing the facts and without thinking.

Answer 6

my friend has the same problem. By two he was as tall as a six year old. When he threw a tantrum and people would give that look of "he's a bit old for that" I would say to the mum in a loud voice "don't you love the terrible two's" and you would see people's faces change and become more accepting . If people want to be rude though just be rude back. "shouldn't she be reading by now" jUst say" well at the age of 4 I don't want to put that pressure on her, I would rather wait till she goes to school" "too old to want that".."since when is 4 too old?" Always come back with a comment that has her age in it. And if people say I'm sorry tell them that maybe they shouldn't be so judgmental. Always remember they were rude first. As for the tall comment. Mine are 7 and get that all the time stil. I think people are just making a comment. Don't take that one to offensivly just say "yeah, she is isn't she. I love that she is" Your daughter needs to hear that you love she is tall so she doesn't get a complex. Mine have big fet and though it doesn't show thay have big heads too (all in proportion but adult size heads) I tell them we all have big feet , and if they had little feet then with their height they would look weird. My daughter,7, loves that her best friends mum can wear her new shoes. She plans to pass them on to her when she grows out of them. And big heads. I tell them it is because their brains are so big. Make her proud of her height and to consider herself lucky that she will never be short.

Answer 7

Ugh, I hate when people try to put "their 2 cents in" Our daughter was born with one leg shorter then the other, and wears a lift on her shoe. Last August she had a leg lengthening surgery, which required her to have an external fixator on the outside of her leg. While I have never gotten used to people staring (She hardly notices it, she's such a great kid!) When I see people staring (And it'smostly the adults, kids look, and ask, or just move along) I quietly without my daughter hearing say something like "Keep staring, she might do a trick"

Answer 8

Tell them that she isn't to old for those things and that she is 4 and half and just tall for her age. My friend's son looked like he was 6 at the age of four and people would do the same things. It's like they never had a kid before. I mean really what business is it if she is reading a book for a four year old. They don't know her age and they make an unfair judgment.

Answer 9

Ignore the rude comments.Just explain that she is naturally tall for her age.People would make comments about the height of my daughter and would mistake her for a school age child when she was at kindergarten still.

Answer 10

My daughter is short for her age and she gets upset because other kids tell her she's a baby (she's 3). You can try smiling at that and saying that your daughter is a normal healthy four year old then walk away with your head held high.