WHAT DO I DO WITH 14yr. SON WHO IS ABOUT TOO GO WRONG?

Question

HE IS ON A 6 MONTH PROBATION FOR STEELING. HE DID NOT TAKE ITEM BUT WAS THERE. SO NOW HE IS PAYING THE PRICE. DON'T GET ME WRONG, HE DID WRONG FOR BEING THERE. HE WAS BEING A FOLLOWER NOT A LEADER LIKE I HAVE TRIED TOO TEACH MY BOYS TO BE.

Answer 1

you may think i am being harsh, i promise i'm not. i'm a mother too! at 14 he is still young. i would try things like this. prison or jail tours...


This 30-minute documentary was produced primaily by prison inmates, showing the reality of being confined to prison: life behind walls, the daily monotony, no freedom or privacy, and loneliness. You Don't Want to Live in My House was created by the inmates to deter juveniles from crime, by giving them a first hand look at what it's really like behind bars. Inmates give heartfelt confessions about missing their families and a truly eye-opening tour of their dreadful living conditions. They talk about how doing drugs, being in gangs, and just hanging out with the wrong crowd got them in the position they are in today.
http://storesonline.com/site/917676/product/936

http://www.teenhelp.us/index.php?source=google>htrak=at
risk+teen&gclid=CJqovrqf_YkCFSmBFQodbUCyRw

http://www.parentteen.com/atriskteens.html
The fact is, all children, especially at-risk teens need their parents to establish clear rules and expectations. Research confirms that “hands-on” parents are more likely to have a solid, healthy relationship than permissive parents (Hands on Parenting). Validate the teen’s feelings. Sometimes teenagers react to situations in ways adults think are inappropriate, overdramatic, or silly. This is because teens don’t have the benefit of adult experience. What is minor to an adult may be very important to them. For example, if the teen says, “Mrs. Jones doesn’t like me. She gives me too much homework,” don’t dismiss them by saying, “That’s ridiculous-everyone gets the same amount of homework.” Instead validate the teen’s feelings, investigate the situation, and guide them to a better understanding of the situation (Keeping Youth Drug Free).

http://www.focusas.com/Parenting.html

i wouldn't do anything really drastic yet but if it comtinues, mention and research boot camps! get a grip on it now while you still can !

GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

Hopefully this will teach him a lesson. Just make sure you know where he is at all times, and if certain ppl he's around cause trouble, then don't allow him to be around them- now I know you can't really do that at school, but for a while, I'd keep him close to you at home so he doesn't get into much trouble. Have his friends come to your house for a while if you have to, and get to know them. If he realizes he was wrong not to step up and say no, or leave that situation, then this probation might teach him a good lesson. Tell him you love him, but stealing won't get you anywhere but jail in the real world. You have to work hard to get things you want. And by working, you take pride in what you do have. So when he's of age, try to get him to work... and for now, maybe he can clean, do yard work, babysit if he's responsible, things like that to make a little extra cash. Keep teaching him right and wrong, but let him know you love him, he made a mistake, but now he needs to prove to you he will do better next time. Goodluck!

Answer 3

Okay, he made a mistake and is paying the price. He needs to look at the people he is hanging around with and decide if that is the kind of life he really wants. You need to let the past go and start to get more involved with his decisions and what he is doing. Just because he made this one wrong move doesn't mean is "Going Wrong" and he should not have to hear you say that....it could end up being a self-full-filling prophecy. Try to limit the time he is home alone (if he is at all) and get him involved in activities that involve good kids doing good things like scouting or a church group. Good luck.

Answer 4

A co-worker grounded her 14-year old son for the entire summer after he stole an item at an amusement park. He was not able to play outside with his friends (but he could cut the grass and do yard work). She also took away his media (computer, video games, tv) and telephone time. Her ex-husband reinforced the rules when he visited on the weekends. It was harsh, but she was trying to teach a lesson. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

kick him in the gonads! Let him get in trouble for it, tell him that him being there is just as wrong as it is if he stole something. He needs to go through this probation to set him straight. tell him if he keeps hanging out with the people he does, and keeps on doing wrong things, he will end up behind bars, be on probation. Since he is only a follower he will soon realize it's not worth it. he'll grow out of this stage and be smarter about it. He's at that age he's scared not to do something he's told. Tell him to be his own person and do his own things to stay outta trouble.

Answer 6

Difficult age. Try to be compassionate and understanding...not of his actual behavior, but of the difficulties teens go through in this day and age. It is absolutely treacherous to grow up these days and trouble is around every corner.

Try having a few of his "better-liked" adult males, that you agree to, come around more often. If these are few and far between, please seek them out, for his benefit. Kids need positive role models and parents, while they are the most important, are often the ones the kids most reject (at least outwardly). Try to find some adult males in your place of worship, at your job, in the neighborhood, etc. that can both keep an eye on him WITH you (not for you) and also spend some quality time with him.
I know this is hard and frightening, but keep your chin up and your heart open.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

ground him. Ban him from being with these "friends" put him in Scouts where he can make friends and keep very busy. Put him in a couple of sports. Keep him so busy that he doesn't have time for anything else apart from school and homework

Answer 8

WOW. 14 that's a dangerous age.My mom told my brother she would send him to a military school that scared him so never got on trouble again, wasn't a A student. Talk to him see what he wants to do in life

Answer 9

I suppose that you did about as good a job of teaching your son to be a leader as your parents did of teaching you how to spell.

Answer 10

Pay special attention to who he is hanging out with and what they are doing. I hope he stays out of trouble after this.