Money Dance?

Question

What do you think about doing a money dance, where at the beginning we announce that all the money goes to a charity?

If you are wondering which foundation we would give it to, starlight starbright which helps children who you are ill and have a four star rating (meaning they are . My fiance and I are going charity work for them. We have them as number 1 on our registry because we are older and we really do not need gifts from our guests. When we were thinking about a money dance, we were thinking people donating $1 each dance. It really isn't something I want to do, but my fiance suggested it and I have been on the fence about it.

http://www.starlight.org/site/c.fuLQK6MMIpG/b.1038035/k.BDF4/Home.htm

Answer 1

I've included links to sites that help you set up a money/charity gift registry, it is NOT uncommon now-a-days. However, it sounds like money trees are done more often than money dances ... plus it's easy to include the charity on a gift registry ahead of time & you'll probably raise more money for your charity including it on a gift registry (I read that one couple raised $8,000 for their charity).

BTW, other ideas I read about include (after the wedding) donating the flower arrangements to a convalescent home, and left over food to church soup kitchens.

I felt uncomfortable at the wedding I went to when they had the $ dance (maybe it was just the way that particular couple did it, plus I never carry cash) ... I did not feel uncomfortable at all w/ a money tree.

However, like other people have said, it is your wedding, do what you want - I wish I had. (EDIT) I like to provide as much info as I can & have back-up to my answers, so did a little research overnight & found that wedding charity gifts have become very popular, here's a link that I thought looked most helpful and will help you get started in setting up your charity gift registry: http://www.idofoundation.org/welcome/registries/donationregistry.html
Here's an article from CBS News about wedding charity gift registries:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/08/04/earlyshow/contributors/lauriehibberd/main759243.shtml

I wanted to have a money tree at our wedding, my mother-in-law told me not to, & I wanted to stay on her good side. Ever since, I wish I would have done what I wanted and had the $ tree, because instead we ended up with a bunch of stuff that we couldn't use or already had (we both had separate homes before marriage). I felt bad that people had put time & thought into picking out gifts for us, then we went and returned just about all of it (we were living in a 642 sq ft house at the time so nowhere to put the stuff).

We did invest the money from the returned gifts & were able to buy our first home for our first anniversary :-) I think our friends/family would be happy to know they actually helped us buy our first home.

I think true friends & people who honestly care about you will respect whatever your decision is ... and it sounds like you're putting a lot of thought into your decision.

Answer 2

I really do disagree with these people calling it "tacky" and acting like you are begging for money by having a dollar dance. I don't know why people make such a big deal about it, it's not required and if you don't want to participate or are "put off" by it, that's fine. Just step aside and let the other people have fun. I would like to do it at my wedding, I like the idea of having a "dollar optional dance." For me, it would be more about having a little one on one time with the bride and groom. In a reception line you barely get one word in to the couple before you have to move on. At least with the dance you get a few seconds to say your congrats. If I care enough to come to the couple's wedding, I have no problem with giving them a dollar. It's only $1! And if a dollar is that big of a deal, then spend one less dollar on their present or on their card. The charity idea is a good one, but if I were a guest, I'd much rather the money go to the couple to help with whatever they need in starting their new lives together.

Answer 3

I like the idea of giving to charity but not a money dance. In my family I was brought up not to ask for money (has been a problem in making a gift registry). My fiance wanted a money dance but we decided not to, not everyone has money and most have to fly or drive many hours to get to our wedding.
A good option would be putting a charity on your wedding registry I know the www.weddingchannel.com will donate money to a charity of your choice when you sign up there and your family/friends purchase from your giftregistrys there.

Answer 4

I think that it is fun and everyone that is a normal person shouldn't think it is tacky to have a money dance. I also think it all comes from your family traditions. If your family is a custom to traditions and they have always done this in your families weddings you shouldn't feel bad at doing this. I think you should announce that your having the money dance and after you have finished have someone count the money and when they are done have the dj announce that you guys got a total of $$$ and that you have decided to donated it to such and such charity. I am sure everyone will love it especially if its a charity people would like to give to. Good luck and I think its a great idea.

Answer 5

We did a "dollar dance" - but we did it as tounge-and-cheek as possible. Because it was common to do in the time and place we were married - we were "talked" into it, so we put our own spin on it.

We played "Private Dancer" by Tina Turner and more or less made "fun" of it - everyone had a laugh. I hammed it up and we had fun with it so no one minded. My dad even paid my father-in-law for a dance!

If it were now, I think I'd still do it the exact same way, but do as you say and earmark the money for charity. And let's face it - no one really knows if someone paid a dollar or not...

It could be great fun if you don't take it seriously.

Answer 6

I think if its not done in your social circle you should steer clear of it for two reasons #1 alot of people wont know what it is and will be flustered by the pulling out of money, how much money it should be, and dancing with you (if they even carry any money, I know I never carry cash anymore) and #2 if they arent used to this kind of thing they might be put off by it, even though you are saying you are donating the money, you're still out right asking for it.

I also think the money dance puts alot of pressure on people, if they dont do it they feel as if they are the spoil sport. You dont want to make your guests feel uncomfartable, so if this isnt a family tradition dont do it.

Answer 7

I think it's great you guys want to donate to charity. I don't think a money dance is tacky at all. Guests don't have to dance with the couple if they don't want to during that time, to each their own, respect it.

Nowadays they are calling it a 'honeymoon' dance. The extra money you get, after paying the whole expense of paying for a wedding.

It's your wedding and do what you WANT to do is perfectly up to you, that is why it's your wedding and not someone else's.

Answer 8

The dollar dance is sometimes the only way for some people of the opposite sex to talk to the bride and groom at the wedding. Heck, when I get married, my fiance already knows (and supports) the dollar dance. We are going to call it the "dollar optional dance" just so that the girls that Im friends with can dance with me and the guys that she's friends with can dance with her. Aside from that time, we dont plan on letting anyone cut in during a slow song.

Answer 9

I think the dollar dance has good intentions but feel funny about actual money being involved. I really like your idea of it going to charity though, I am actually going to run the idea by my fiance. I have talked to alot of friends and family and we have agreed to do the dollar dance only because it is nice to be able to have a few seconds of one on one with the bride and/or groom.

Answer 10

It's a Polish tradition that was started so the couple would have a little extra cash for their honeymoon. If you want to do it, do it! (sometimes if you don't have a receiving line it's a good way to get a little 1-on-1 time with people at your ceremony).