Help with 3 yr old son sleeping?

Question

I put my 3 yr old son to sleep at 8:00. That has always been his bedtime and he knows that. He will stay in his bed until he drifts off to sleep butbetween 1-3 in the morning he will wake up and won't go back to sleep. He will start crying until daddy or I get out of bed and walk him to the living room then he will go back to sleep on the couch. Even if we get out of bed and put him back into his bed he will not go back to sleep in his bed. And yes we just got him a bigger bed to see if that helps and it is still not helping. Any suggestions?

styree- he does have 3 nightlights in his bedroom and he does have about 10 stuffed animals in his bed with him. and he sleeps wit soft music on during the night too. and he still wakes up

i forgot to add he does have a bob the builder pillow and a spiderman pillow and he also has spiderman sheets and a thomas the choo choo blanket and still he wakes up and wont go back to sleep in his room

Heather P- 1st i should add hes not my real son, hes my step son but ive been there for him 2 yrs out of 3 than his real mother. and hes been doing it since i met him and my hisband says he had been doing that even before i met them too.

Answer 1

Three year olds have a lot of imagination.

Put him to bed with a light he can turn on himself without getting out of bed. A lamp, a flashlight, whatever. That helped our daughter.

You might also spend some time talking with him about what it is that freaks him out. It turned out that our house had an invasion of boxelder and lady bugs, and our daughter was obsessed with them "getting her." So we gave her an (empty) spray bottle filled with "magic spray"--guaranteed to repel bugs, monsters, and all others who try to scare her in the night. It really helped.

One other thing: our daughter's bed was custom-built by my husband into an attic wall. It had a sloping ceiling, and she could draw curtains closed along the long side of the bed. She loved that. It was like hiding. We've since moved, and we got her a crazy tunnel thing that fits over her bed (from IKEA) because I think that feeling of being in a tent or being enclosed in some way makes her feel safe and cozy. You might try that?

Answer 2

Our son will be four soon and he went through a phase when he was younger where he would come into our bed in the middle of the night every night. Initially it started with him coming in really early in the a.m. like 6 so I was okay with it. Then it kept getting pushed back until like 1 a.m. and that was hard b/c we couldn't get good rest. His dr. said that would go away on it's own around preschool age and sure enough now he dosen't want to sleep with us unless he's sick. If he was sleeping with you guys I would say it may just go away on it's own and that it's a separation anxiety issue, which is normal. But since he wants to be alone on the couch it may be one of those situations where you have to put your foot down and be consistent and make him stay in his bed. I know that's not always easy because you'll be up longer fighting him to sleep. So do what you are comfortable with. If you think it's just a phase then let it run it's course. We have to pick and choose our battles and if you get more sleep by just letting him sleep on the couch and not fighting him to get in his bed then maybe that's what will work best for you guys. Your dr. should also be able to give you good advice. Kids do strange things sometimes, you didn't mention how long he's been doing this? I would also worry a little about a safety issue with him being in the living room and possibly getting out the front door.

Answer 3

Perhaps starting a routine before going to bed. Get big brother in the game, by having him say how much he likes sleeping in his 'big boy bed' and that he's growing up because he doesn't have to sleep with mommy. Read some stories, whatever your nighttime ritual is (I remember reading at least 3 books, then it would be the getting of water, tucking in, bedtime kisses etc) when he does end up going to your bed, bring him back to his own bed (even when your exhausted and it would be easier to just leave him there with you) Unfortunately, he might be upset with this, take tantrums etc., but you must stand firm. When he does stay in his own bed the first time, make a point of saying what a big boy he is for sleeping in his own bed. He will grow out of it eventually. And of course, special allowances should always be made in case of really bad thunderstorms and nightmares.

Answer 4

Oh my can I relate to what you are saying. First of all I will let you know that this is a phase. You are doing nothing wrong. If I had to say, he is changing his REM sleep patterns. At this age he is changing his sleep pattern to where he is having more variation. Like how we may awaken and turn over he is starting to develop that. So, he needs to teach himself how to get back to sleep. A tough thing for a little guy to do. I found that a sleep chart worked for my daughter. If she stayed in bed she would get a sticker. After four stickers she could get a special something. Just an idea. Good luck

Answer 5

It's all in the routine of things.
Children need time to relax and unwind just like we do.
Having a consistent routine leading up to bedtime would help tremendously.
Around bed time keep things calm and relaxing in your home. (Nothing that's going to get him revved up)
Give happy warning IE-bath time in 10 minutes etc.
After bath time is story time ( have him choose a book or two)
Also, we created a chart clock with pictures of every stage from dinner to bedtime. Also, I would maybe reduce some of the lighting in his room and anything that creates scary shadows. Put yourself his shoes and lay his bed on night. Now take a look around. See if it feels warm and cozy and scary shadow free. Hope this was helpful.Good luck!

Answer 6

Try a feather mat on the bed under the fitted sheet. this worked for my 2 year old. I bought the mat and new soft pillows and before i go to bed (after she is a sleep) I make sure she is covered with the sheet and quilt. It is cuddly to her and kept her in bed during the night.

Answer 7

1st, you're his "real" mother now! (He may have two mothers in the picture, but when he's in your home, he's YOUR child, too!)
2) get Daddy to STOP coming to him, let alone walking him in the middle of the night!! He's simply reinforcing the waking up and crying!! The child is obviously not afraid or uneasy, as he goes to sleep in the evenings. Is your husband uneasy with the divorce? or his own role? or YOUR role as the "new" mother? 3) You may have to "ride it out" a number of nights! Most toddlers will arouse, cry a while and then fall back asleep if they are not stimulated by a parent coming and picking them up!

Answer 8

mine sons a lot younger at a year and a half and does the same thing. He cries and point to the living room and says couch. I can't figure it out either. Maybe your so is afriad. Try asking him why he wants to leave his room and maybe you will be able to sit next to him and hold his hand in his room. If hes like my son (stubborn hehe) the couch will probably be the only solution.

good luck and good night!

Answer 9

Sorry cant help, My 5 1/2 year old wakes through the night and gets in my bed everynight, so i need the same help as you.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

DEAR HE IS SCARED OF THE DARK PUT NIGHT LIGHTS IN HIS ROOM PUT STUFF TOYS IN HIS BED AND BUY HIM A BLANKET TRAVEL PILLOW USE IT AS A BABY PILLOW BUY PILLOW CASES WITH HIS FAVORITE CARTOON CARTER AND YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SLEEP WITH HIM MOM 2 NIGHTS UNTIL HE GETS USE TO IT BY HIMSELF OK THAT S WHAT IS HE IS AFFORD OF TE DARK OK AFTER READING MORE OF YOUR NOTE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO PAT HIM TO SLEEP TAKE CARE GOOD LUCK