My girlfriend and pretty much all of her friends think that I am kind of controlling (which I am) and I don't want to be like that but I can't help it. What is something that I can do to stop being so overprotective??
I am a REALLY insecure person (kind of)
2007-01-25 13:57:25 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we don't really have different friends...sorry...i made that unclear.
2007-01-25 14:11:21 · update #1
WE HAVE THE SAME FRIENDS
2007-01-25 14:23:10 · update #2
Well, I think you realize what your problem is, your insecure. Your afraid that if you aren't with your g/f she will cheat on you. Guess what if she cheats on you then she isn't worth it. So does that mean that you watch her 24 hours so she doesn't have the opportunity to cheat? Not a good thing, give her space to be with her friends too, and you go out with your friends. Trust me, you will test the waters and see how you both do. Don't smother her or she will eventually hate you, don't make her choose you over her friends then she will blame you later. You have to TRUST her. Good Luck:)
2007-01-25 14:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tricky. See, overly insecure people tend to end up with overly neglectful people. It's quite possible that your girlfriend really is being somewhat neglectful. But if you're insecure you can never really know for sure, right?
Spend some time around YOUR friends. They're on YOUR side. See what they think. I thought I was being oversensitive with a girl I dated until we went out with a friend and my friend got offended at how the girl was treating me. I realized at that point that feeling like I was getting up was perfectly justified, because I was!
Of course, if you really are controlling, the best thing to do is give every shred of benefit of the doubt. If she wants to go out with friends the third night in a row, smile and say "Have a great time" even if you spend the whole night going nuts. That will hopefully take some of the pressure off and she'll spend time with you because she WANTS to.
2007-01-25 14:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Beige Lantern 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too am an insecure person so I kind of know where you are coming from.....I started becoming abit less "overprotective" when first I met some of my mates friends ( trying to do so as if I was meeting them on my own) and I got a hobby to take my mind off of what they were doing when I wasn't with them.
2007-01-25 14:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by notpetrpanswendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have friends of your own? You only refer to her and her friends. Seperation is needed to keep a relationship fresh. Learn about her. Ask her what she would like to do or where she would like to go and so on. Trust me, if she really likes you, she may try and look over your insecurities and then in the long run she will be miseriable. You don't want that either.
2007-01-25 14:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by lil bear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for yourself is, to STOP being controlling. When you say that you are controlling, how are you controlling with her? Can you give an example. Because, there are women who say their man is controlling, but he is not. They just see a different perception.
2007-01-25 14:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do to be controling? Email me and i will help you the best i can i was married to the most controling man in the world! I could help you from my perspective on the other side if you would like!
2007-01-25 14:11:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn to love yourself. find some friends of your own to hang out with at timesand then also the two of you can do things together with your friends and hers. if that doesn't work see some self and relationship counseling. congrats! recognizing the issue is the first step...i am sure you don't want to loose her due to insecurity so now you must do something about it.
2007-01-25 14:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by Butta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you're not alone. There are a lot of control freaks out there.
And a lot of insecure people too. Perhaps, a mental health therapist could help you with these issues. Good luck!
2007-01-25 14:12:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well what you can do first of all is ease up...cause no one likes a controlling person...and no one should try and controll anyone....just ease up a bit you will find that you will be a happier person take care
2007-01-25 14:12:15 · answer #9 · answered by blugeanie923 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
those are issues that you would have to deal with and being in this relationship is helping you realize all of your insecurities..you have to ask yourself why you feel that way and then change it..you just have to always ask why when you start feeling insecure..if your afraid of losing her than you ask yourself why?..its really all about your self worth..if you feel like you need someone else to complete you instead of you completing yourself than you'll always feel insecure..when you feel a lot of self worth other people see it too
2007-01-25 14:17:40 · answer #10 · answered by gemstone2421 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋