What do you do if your mom is waaaayyy overprotective and tries to prevent you from learning things that..?

Question

you need to learn. Kind of like the mom in Waterboy.

note: I'm a guy

19, in college, and she won't let me carry stuff, tries to stop me from filling out forms, tries to prevent me from making food for myself when I'm at home (she makes the food for me which would be nice, except that it's so nice as to be somewhat manipulative. She keeps telling me to stop talking every time I am talking with my dad at the dinner table (not to chew my food, but to actually stop talking and just stare at my food). She always does laundry, dishes, every chore, so I never learned how to do them. If I spill something she doesn't make me clean it up, she chases me away from it and cleans it up herself, which implies she doesn't trust me to clean it up.

So basically she is doing things that are nice, but she is using them in a very manipulative way.

Any other thoughts?

Oh and I almost forgot: sometimes when I go to play sports she implies that I should stay home instead. She also constantly nags me about how I should stay at home instead of going back to my dorm whenever I stop by my parents house (3 times a week, I live lose to college).

Answer 1

time to get away from momma

Answer 2

I know that film, and the character was very extreme. All mums are protective, but if you are trying to say she doesn't want you to socialise with other kids (I'm guessing) then is there a good reason for this? I mean, have to had a bad time with kids in you neighbourhood in the past...? It's not easy to answer really without more information about what she doesnt want you to do.

As a mum myself, I know that safety is really important to me or just can't relax knowing my son playing out.
What I would suggest is that you show her things you can do that require some level of responsibility, even if its just showing her the good grades you got for your home work. Also, offer to do the odd household chore without being told and she'll start to see you as more self-reliant.

Or offer to get some shopping (if you're old enough). Once that level of trust has built up a little she may just ease up and see that you don't need to be protected as much as when you were little. Good luck x

Answer 3

I have parents that are similar though not quite that extreme. First I would say thank you for doing all your chores. Than I would get to a book store and have you buy, Boundaries, by Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend...This is a subject I cannot clearly explain to you in a few paragraphs on the computer. You are of age legally. Get a job & save up your money & move out. Your parents are not reponsible for you legally anymore. You need to just tell them how you feel and educate yourself, so that you can see all the ways they manipulate you, so that you can call them on it. I am 25, married with one child & my father & paternal grandparents are very manipulative. I hope you can read that book! Good luck!

Answer 4

That depends, Earl, on how old you are. If you are say 8, then you need to learn to be patient. If you are 12, then it might be time to talk with your mom about some new responsibilities and privileges. You are growing more independent every day moms sometimes get "stuck" on old rules that no longer apply (or at least they shouldn't). Most likely your mom just needs to be clued in on things going on with you and wants to feel a part of the process.... the two of you need to agree to times that you spend together and times apart. If you are 16, start looking for part-time job and ways to earn that learner's permit. If you are over 20, you might just need to learn some of this stuff on your own cause its apparently freaking out your mom. And if you are over 21, its time to move. lol Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

I had an over protective Mom too. Now that I have teens of my own I can more understand her point although it is frustrating. She has been there and knows the consequences of certain actions and just wants to save you some heartache. I tell my kids to always use their heads. I can't be with them every second but if I raised them right, they have enough sense to know right from wrong. Talk to your Mom in an adult way to show her you are smart enough to experience some things and come out ok. Good luck!

Answer 6

Depends on how old you are. Are you doing good in school, are you doing your chores? Things like this factor in. If your older say 16 and up sit down and talk to her. If your only 13 or something like that, then your still young. At least your mom cares about you.

Answer 7

You need to tell your mom that you are growing up and there are some things that you need to know in order to grow up and be able to function with everyday life. You need to experience life outside and see the good, the bad, and the ugly. It would be safer if you knew certain things so that way you make the best desion possible in certain situations.

Answer 8

sit your mom down and explain to her that you respect her and you would never do anything to hurt her or disrespect her but she needs to light-in up on you a little because there is things you are needing to learn about and you would rather talk to her about them but if she won't give you some breathing room then you will find out the information some where else.

Answer 9

like what earl? like what?