My brother and sister in law are planning their wedding and my sister in law has 4 sisters, none of which she will allow to be bridesmaids because they are on the chunky side (sizes 12 through 16?) and she is rail-thin. Her sisters really wanted to be included in the wedding but she instead chose her close friends from high school who are as skinny as she is (about a size zero) She showed me the bridesmaid's dresses she picked, they were two-piece middriff showing little pink numbers, revealing but cute. Then she asked me what I thought of them, and I honestly told her that I thought it was inconsiderate of her not to allow her sisters to be a part of her wedding. She then told me that she had picked out those dresses before she was going to marry my brother and she had to find someone who would fit in them. I was sitting there thinking she is so materialistc and is going to bleed my brother dry. Now she hasn't spoken to me since and it's been a month.
2007-01-25 12:30:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She sounds shallow and selfish. Consider yourself lucky she hasn't spoken to you. And be extra nice to your borther, it will eat her up.
2007-01-25 12:36:22 · answer #1 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how close you are to your brother. On the one hand I want to say GOOD FOR YOU! Someone needs to stick up for what is right. But then again...is the cost worth it?
Do you want to be right, or happy?
If is important to you to keep peace so you can make things easier on your brother then you need to smooth things over.
You can find a clever way to apologize that her feelings were hurt, without really saying you are sorry. Tell her you didn't know the dress was that important to her and you are sorry that her feelings were hurt. It sounds like an apology, but you aren't admitting to any wrong doing - it is actually true.
I feel sorry for your brother - and it sounds like she does not value family in the least. She is likely to, over time, put a wedge between your brother and his family because she doesn't care. you are going to have to be careful to not fuel her fire.
You are likely going to have to do a lot of private eye-rolling over the years with her. Hopefully she'll either grow up or he'll see her for who she is before they have any children.
2007-01-25 14:32:05 · answer #2 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would send her a card. let her know that you might not necessarily agree with everything that she does or says, but you love your brother so in turn you also love her. let her know that you still want to be around her and to talk to her because you plan on being around for your brother. make sure she understands why you feel the way you do about the bridesmaid dress thing but then let her know that it doesn't mean that you hate her. i tell you this because i hate my little sister but i love her too. she is most materialistic, vain person that i know. i pretty much never agree with anything she does, but she is also the mother of my nephew and the only sister that i have, except for my brother, they are all i have. i can accept the way she is, i let her know i don't like it, because i want to be a part of their lives. i have children of my own and if anything...i can teach them love and acceptance, even if it's the most annoying, materialistic ppl in the world and believe no matter what you tell them, they will NEVER agree with you..lol.
2007-01-25 12:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by nlightnd26 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were honest and your future sister-in-law didn't like what she heard.
It's too bad she couldn't include her sisters in her wedding. She said she picked out the dresses before she was proposed to? Did she pay for them ahead of time? She could have picked a more 'flattering' style for her sisters. Too bad.
As for her not speaking to you, I guess you can apologize for hurting her feelings (but maybe not for your remarks about not including her sisters). If she doesn't accept your apology, maybe it's time for your brother to step in.
Can the sisters be included in the wedding some other way? Like doing readings at the church service?
2007-01-25 12:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by Lizzie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your poor brother!! The way I see it - She asked for your opinion and you gave it to her. She should have been prepared for that. I can't believe she isn't having her sisters in her wedding because of their size. She will probably regret that later when she isnt friends with those girls anymore.
2007-01-25 12:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by jenna11rn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apologize to her for hurting her feelings. Yes, you told the truth, and you had every right to say what you did. However, what you did hurt her. She will be in your family and will be at all family gatherings. Apologize for the sake of the future.
For the record, I'm not having my sisters in my wedding, but for different reasons. First, I don't have a great relationship with them, and want my friends, with whom I do have a good relationship. Second, I don't want a crowd at the front, and to have them would mean 6 attendants. They say they understand...
2007-01-25 12:40:24 · answer #6 · answered by janejane 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I would just look at her and say look i truely hope that you and my borther work out but if it doesnt how would YOU feel if your daughter said well Mom i have this beautiful mother of the bride dress picked out and its my wedding and i have decided it would be better looking on stepmom.
So sorry.
2007-01-25 16:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Johny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brother made a choice, and even if you dislike his fiance, for his sake keep a civil atmosphere. Try apologizing--it can be difficult, especially if you don't feel you did anything wrong (and considering her actions, I can definitely see where you're coming from), but try to find a way to sincerely say you're sorry. It can make a huge difference.
2007-01-25 12:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by kiss_me_over_the_garden_gate 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Buy dresses like that for her sisters and yourself. Wear them to the wedding and sit in the front row! That'll teach her. Anorexic witch.
2007-01-25 12:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I can understand you wanting to be there for your brother, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over making her upset.
2007-01-25 12:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋