how am i supposed to get through it? HELP PLEASE?

Question

my grandpa is on his death bed from cancer.
i watched my friend get beat up and couldn't do anything for her.
my good friend decided to drink and drive and got in an accident.
my other really good friend committed suicide.
and my parents are arguing like never before.

how do i get through it without making other people feel bad or anything. i don't want a pity party...

I DO PRAY. OFTEN. IT FEELS LIKE NOTHING IS WORKING. not even anyone at church can help me...

Answer 1

I feel bad for you. There's far too much stress going on in your life right now.

Take a deep breath and deal with everything one minute at a time if you have to. I know it doesn't seem like it now but you will survive and will probably be a stronger person as a result.

For your grandpa... There's nothing you can for him but you can spend as much quality time with him as possible. It will make him happy and give you some good memories for when he's gone.

Your friend who was beaten up... Don't feel guilty if there was nothing you could do. Just be supportive of her.

Your good friend who got into an accident... You sometimes get what you deserve. Drinking and driving is stupid. I hope your friend learned his/her lesson. Don't waste time worrying about this person. They just need to clean up their act.

The suicide... You'll miss your friend but she/he obviously had a lot of problems and was very depressed. In time you'll feel better and have only good memories. Until then you'll just have to deal with the hurt when it pops up. If you were that close you might want to spend some time with the family. Seeing you might help them.

Your parents... There's not much you can do here except to remove yourself from the room or the house when they fight. They shouldn't be arguing in front of you anyway.

Try talking with the parent you are the closest to or even someone at school. You could also ask your parents if you could see a therapist. They'll listen and help you through all of this.

I wish you well. I know it hurts big time. My mom died suddenly when I was in high school (sophomore year) and a year later my aunt died. I thought it would kill me but I did survive. These things get easier with time.

Answer 2

WOW!!! I am so sorry to hear about all that you're coping with!

How you "get through it" is by talking to someone like a counselor, a therapist, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. You need to tell someone how you feel and give you professional advice on what to do. I want to add here that a psychologist cannot prescribe medication, if that's what you're looking for. And I really don't know if you need to take an anti-depressant or some other type of drug.

But DO talk to someone about what's going on in your life. Hopefully they can provide you with an outlet of some sort.

Answer 3

You need to sit down and really think about what you can control and what you can't. Realize that some of the things happening in your life you have no control over, but some of the other things you can sort out..My advice to you is the following:

Grandfather: Spend more time with him. Help his suffering a bit more tolerable by being by his side and comfort him. I wish I would have done this with my dad but I refused to see him like that, Now I wish I was there to comfort him. Show compassion towards him.

Best friend: You could have stepped in but remember, what was the fight about. Stepping in could have been 2 people badly hurt, but my point is....if you can fight then defend, but if you can't don't hurt yourself

Good friend: Could have gone with that friend and drive yourself to prevent an accident.

Suicide is a touchy subject. Look for the signs. If you can't help......tell someone to report it.

Talk to parents individually and look for the sorce of problem.

If all fails, pray to God and ask for wisdom. Read psalms 59:1 -9 it should help you.

Answer 4

Pray to change your situation. Know that you are really a strong person that God is not going to give you more than you can handle. Really try to pray, ask God to give you the strength to handle all the challenges you have to face. Ask for grace to be able to help others in their time of need as well you seem like you are a helper to many. really at this moment I do want you ask for peace, Peace of mind means everything. Never let that Go. GOod Luck

Answer 5

kayla,

i totally understand how you feel. i am so sorry for everything you are going through. i am really sorry that you are suffering through the loss of your granddad and your good friend. it is so hard to lose the ones you love.

my dad died suddenly from an aneurysm eleven months ago, i was in a accident in june, my grandma had a massive stroke in august, then she died in october, and my boyfriend and i broke up on saturday. it has been one hell of a year. it can be very overwhelming emotionally and it might seem like you're never going to get through it.

i know how hard it is when your parents are fighting...between them my parents have six marriages and five divorces!!

don't worry about making other people feel bad. you're going through an extremely difficult time and need someone to listen to you and validate your feelings. it is okay to be sad, to grieve, to feel overwhelmed and broken. it is normal to feel this way when you're dealing with so much stress.

many people expreience profound depressions when facing less than what you're dealing with. so, i think you need to talk to someone who can effectively help you soon. please don't do anything to hurt yourself.

try to do something to distract yourself from the emotional pain until you can get help

watch a funny movie or sitcom or stand up.

listen to some uplifting music

if you have a religious faith--read somethign inspiring and hopeful from your scripture, koran, buddhist text...whatever you believe.

take a nice bubble bath or shower and use some nice scented lotion.

try aromatherapy--lavender is nice and calming.

drink some herbal tea like chamomile to calm your nerves.

i am praying for you!

please contact me. i want to help you. i've dealt with depression for years and i really want you to be safe.

sara




sara

Answer 6

You have to take care of yourself in this case. I would think that you may need to get out of the situation between your mother and your father. The fact that they argue in front of you is ABUSE. I sincerely suggest that you call a Domestic Violence Hotline and see if they can help you. I would do it on my own, and not depend on your parents at all at this time.

Answer 7

There are people who love you and it would not be a burden for them to help you. When people care about each other that is what they do. Also there are crisis lines you can call if there is no one that you can think of to talk to.Or ministers, teachers, school counselors....I will say a prayer for you.

Answer 8

you need to talk to someone who can help you sort through this and make you feel more confident.
A therapist or psychologist can help you deal with the greif you are going through
YOu shouldn't depend on your friends if they don't know what you are going through
some people to talk to
someone at your church or religous leader
a therapist
there are also free hotlines you can call

please talk to someone.. you don't want to let this stuff build up
there's nothing wrogn with seeng a therapist
a hospital social worker, a grief counselor

Answer 9

You need someone to talk to. Anyone. Maybe someone you don't even know. Don't let the anger/hurt build up, its not healthy. Is there anyone that you can talk to? Hey, if you need someone to talk to, I listen! Keep a blog or diary and let your feelings out that way if you aren't ready to talk to anyone!

Answer 10

Wow, sounds like the revelations live
U just need to pray to God and things will
dramatically get better.