evil stepmom?

Question

why do my stepchildren think im out to get them

Answer 1

Well, we all think that...I'm 13 and I have a stepmom and stepdad. Sometimes I feel like they are out to get me but it's only because we want our real mom and dad to be together...don't take it personally...it's not really you....just give it some time.

Answer 2

It's a common reaction of the children of the natural parent, they are used to getting all of the attention and running the show and they see you as a competition, hopefully things will settle down, or you may just want to go to a counselor, someone third party that has no invested interest.

in a lot of cases not matter what you do you will be the one who took dad away. especially if you have a child together.

Answer 3

Some children will feel that way because of what the mother tells them. They feel like you are coming in between their parents and they see that they're not going to get back together. The best way to handle this situation is to show them that you're not out to get them. Question them on why they think you are out to get them.

Answer 4

Good question. I often wonder the same. The only way I get through it sometimes is to try and think about how it is from their point of view as stepkids. It's very tough for both sides. You can only do your best. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

My brother is a step-father. The oldest boy was hesitant at first to trust him to stick around as his father was hardly ever at home or around. The boy learned to trust my brother and realized he was going to stick around and not leave. Then he started calling him Dad. Maybe the kids need to understand that you aren't going anywhere and that you love them and want what is best for them. My brother treats his step-kids like they are his own and they realize that. Good luck.

Answer 6

Its hard to answer your question with no details. Age of you, kids, relationship they have with their father, their own mother, etc...

My 2 kids love my husband, their step father. They are 8 and 10. If you came into their father's life when they were teenagers, you might be met with more resistance, but its hard to say since I dont have any details to form an opinion.

Answer 7

I'm a stepmom also. I think it is the evil-X's that give them that message. They just think that since you are not their "real mom" that they don't have to listen to you. My 17 yr old stepson is finally realizing what a bit_ _ his mom really is, so now we are close. I try to spend some one-on-one with him to see what his is like and him with me. One-on-one does wonders...have a fun date with each one. I do that with my stepson and the others individually.

Answer 8

Because they feel threatened by you... their Dad left their mom... and now he's with you... Unfortunately, no matter how much we tell them it's not true, they fear that, at some point, he'll leave them, too.

The more you include them in household decisions and in your life as a blended family, the more secure they will feel.

Answer 9

It just goes with the territory. It's nothing personal. I'm a stepmother (ten years now, one boy, one girl) and they eventually grew to like and love me. People told me it would eventually work out, and I seriously doubted it, but it did. I tried to compliment them and to get them to talk about things that interested them. I guess they eventually figured out that I really do care about them.

Answer 10

Let me answer this from personal experience. My mom remarried when i was seven. Depending on how old your step children are they probably think you are trying to take their biological mothers place. I htought my stepdad was tryin to take my dads place for almost 5 years. but now me and my stepdad are like best friends.