control freak parent?

Question

hi im 17 and my parents are control freaks!!! They want me to get a job and nag me about it countless times, yet at the same time they govern when i can and cannot sleep and take naps even when i am physically fatigued. They tell me that i cannot watch tv after 10 and my mother must watch with me the tv show for her approval. I have a car that my grandmother purchased for me and they will not let me use it to my benefit they feel they are in need of it more, meanwhile i have paid for many of the repairs on the car. They are always looking for ways to ground me from the car so they can use it, I may even get grounded for posting this when they read it. My mother considers me an adult when she wants something done yet i am a child when she wants me to be a robot and do what they instruct me to do. Is this all contradicting to their beliefs? They bestow on me a great deal of emotional distress. What shall i do? (Keep in mind I will ask them to read your responses)

My parents justification for all of this is the fact that they are Christian and they are protecting me from the iniquities of the world.

Answer 1

Wow, you have some real issues. I have to ask you this...do you do drugs, smoke, drink, have sex, gotten someone pregnant? If the answer to these questions are no, then your parents have a done a great job raising you. I know it is hard to know this at 17 as I too was in your same situation with over protective parents. It wasn't until I became a parent that I appreciated everything they ever did for me. It will make you a better person and hopefully one a better parent. I know its not what you wanted to hear and will not get your best answer vote, but you will look back one day and agree. Just think how you would feel if you had parents who didn't care at all or god forbid where not even there for you. Take care and good luck!

Answer 2

Some things you listed here that your parents do are, believe it or not, for your benefit. Such as having to approve of the shows you watch. There is too much violence and sex on television these days. However, at 17, they should have more trust in you to be able to make good descions on your own. If they raised you how they wanted, then they should be able to trust you. Getting a job at 17 would also be for your benefit. Think about it. You could get a decent part-time job, save money for school or something else you enjoy, and learn the value of work. As far as the car, I would sit down and speak with them about this. Why is it that they don't want you using the car? Do they really need it? Do you really need it? Could you set days where you could use it no matter what? Show them some good maturity and hopefully they will respect that and come to some understanding. Keep in mind I'm not saying that you are not being mature. In fact, I think from this post that you are very mature for your age. Most 17 year olds can barely type an understandable sentance, while yours is clear and uses far better grammar than most college students. I think your parents did a good job with you but need to back off a bit so you can grow into the adult they hoped you would be.

Answer 3

Well I am not an expert but I am able to add a little insight into the situation. Even though it seems like your parents just want to control you but they really want whats best for you. You can try a compromise with the car set out a schedule discuss when you each need to use the car and takes turns when you want to go out with friends or your parents need to use it designate a time to have the car back just sit down and converse as an adult.About the T.V shows that can be a compromise with that watch what educational or good for you shows for a time and then watch the shows that you enjoy so you are all getting what you want. Bed time can also be a compromise don't worry you are not alone on this when I was 17 my parents did this with me.You can start by maybe finding a part time job but also no disrespect to the parents because I know you will be reading this don't put so much pressure on your child it is very stress full just being 17 if you add stress then it will make the situation that much more difficult.You have to remember every bird has to leave the nest and learn how to fly on their own.Just try sitting down and making compromises that everyone can be happy with. Even though it is your child you have to start the guidance into adulthood which I am sure you know that.Just try talking most of the time everything will pan out .Hope that was maybe a little bit of help.
In addition wanting to protect you is one thing but you cant possibly do that he is not 7 but 17 and needs more trust and understanding you cannot possibly see the young adult you raised him to be if you don't let him off his leash forgive the phrasing.there are no drugs, sex, or teenage pregnancy involved
then why not trust.No disrespect meant.

Answer 4

I myself had a job at 15 while in high school. The job part I can understand. They want to teach you to be responsible. Even if it is only working 15-20 hours a week. If you did get a job you would be out of the house more often. If you show them your responsible, they shouldn't have any other reasons to complain. Now if it true about them grounding you so they could use the car. That is wrong. They also need to understand that the more they control you, the worse it could get. I left home at 19. I wish I could of stayed home longer. I had a different issue, controlling crazy step-mom. And your 17 and they have to watch t.v. with you. That is way overboard. good luck

Answer 5

Being a parent is not exactly an easy job You have to make sure your children get good educations You have to make sure they do not do drugs or alchol You have to protect them these days from child predators drug dealers people who do not have there best interests at heart You have to have rules and regulations Install and keep curfews Curfews keep you from being killed raped beaten or in a car while someone is driving drunk If you are lucky you end up with a child who gets good grades behaves and goes by the rules These days there is much more out there Human traffiking rings where the buy and sell children like cattle Child predators who dequise themselve on the web as your friend and then you go meet them its a 52 year old perv Before you knock your parents walk in there shoes for one day dont even get me going on feeding you driving you around putting clothes on your back and a roof over your head can you afford all that

Answer 6

I think that your parents need to be more trusting of you. If they have done a good job of raising you then they should trust you to make the right decisions. You will never learn to trust yourself if they don't trust you. At the age of 17 you are almost an adult. They should be phasing you towards independance. Keep in mind that I am a Christian and I am careful about what my kids watch, but my oldest is only just 14. Still they are making decisions and we talk about things that we may not agree on. Sometimes they present a valid argument and sometimes they accept why I am right. This is how they are learning to make good decisions and learning to trust themselves.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry to hear that your parents are control freaks. If they won't let you have freedom, earn their trust and if you do something wrong, ask for forgiveness (Warning: DO NOT BEG FOR FORGIVENESS.) If they don't accept it's their problem. Remind them that you are 17 and that they are overprotecting you. You need your personal space. Mothers always are proud of their kids when they do something right. Just try to tell them that you wish to have a little more freedom. If not, well, when you're 18 you can get out of the control-freak house :). You should probably get a job. Concedering I'm young, and have a job, I think you should conceder it so you can make your own money and feel happy when you get to spend it, knowing you worked for it.

Answer 8

well I see your parents as a bit overbearing .I think when you are 18 it is time to hit the road.I do agree on you getting a Job and putting some Money in the bank,I Think you are old enough to take a nap when you want and to watch tv Without your parents sitting beside you.The car your Granmother Bought is your not your mom and Dad.If you drive it you should pay for gas and Inc your self.I am a Mother of 3 ,children they are 21 and 14 and 11.and My oldest is married and turned out to be a fine young man.

Answer 9

I think they need to be a little more leniant towards you. If they use the car more, then they should be the ones to pay for the repairs. They need to know that you are almost a grown man. If you are still in school then yes, I can see them not letting you watch tv after 10. I think they are being selfish.

Answer 10

wow it sounds awful I wish more parents were as awful as yours hmmm lets see they want you to get a job that's called responsibility they don't want you to use the car for your personal benefit do you know how many children have died in car accidents together just out messing around I'm sure when you get a job you will be able to drive to work maybe they are using the excuse they need the car to keep you out of it and keep you safe the 10 o'clock TV sounds reasonable you didn't say if their bedroom was close to the living room maybe its a respect of noise situation maybe I'm just an overbearing overprotective mother