I have been going out with this one girl for over a year and 2 months. Over the last little while, I have lost a lot of trust in her. She has started to break promises and lie to me. When we first started dating and for months after, she had a lot of trouble trusting me and so she asked tons of questions about my past and made me give tons of detail. When ever I asked her, she wouldn't answer with the details I did. Now in light of losing a lot of trust in her, and realizing now that a lot of my questions are still unanswered, I have asked her to let me read a journal only from when we started going out. When I do, she flips out and blows a nut. It ruins my trust even more because she can't give me straight answers as to why she won't let me read it, which makes me believe there are things in there that could be damaging. I've always told her my true feelings, she said her journal has her true feelings, should she let me in so we both know eachothers true feelings?
2007-01-25 10:39:22 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
..you guys have no chemistry whatsoever..
..best thing to do would be a break up..
2007-01-25 10:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by moonlit soul.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, but let me say this. First of all, you don't have a right to read your girlfriend's journal, I agree with her there...and that's the only thing I back her up on. Besides, why read her journal when you have already seen her dishonesty with your own eyes?
Second of all, if you can't trust her, then why are you with her? Of course you love her, but really it only seems one-sided. Love isn't about lying and deceiving. If you feel like you could marry her down the road, take this as a big warning sign. You would be living a lie. If she's this way now, she's not going to change. She'll just get worse in time and marriage.
Rule with your head this time, not your heart. I think you know deep down.
2007-01-25 18:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok
whats a relationship without trust
Instead of demanding to see the journal... tell your girlfriend honestly that her refusal to let you into her life and past is upsetting you and making you doubt her which you havent done before. That whatever behaiver is making you loose trust in her is not helped by her refusal. Tell her she does not need to show you her private thoughts in writing but could she share them to you. You want to know what is going on inside her head and would rather hear it from her mouth anyway. Tell her you adore her and that whatever it is, hopefully you guys can talk about it. Remember the key is calm communication. Do not get aggressive because that may rile her up. Some people are just private so do not take the ban on the journal to heart. Just find out why is she being distant. You never know it could be something to do with her family and nothing to do with you
2007-01-25 19:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by holly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, you are so going for the drama!! No you should not read her journal. What are the things about which you and she have no trust, no agreement? What scares you? What do you want that she is not giving you?
If you really truly do not trust this woman, then forget it, take a break from the relationship. Take a long vacation with your phone turned off.
If and when you give it another try, be willing to ask for her love and her kindness and consideration. Always confront a lie, always confront a broken promise, be ready to resolve and forgive.
Keep down the angst, man. Ease up. Stay honest with yourself first, and don't be needy. If she doesn' give you what you want, back off.
2007-01-25 18:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by Arlosmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! I have never been unfaithful, but I would completely freak out if anybody I was dating asked to read my journal. Not because there was something "incriminating", just because my journal is a place for my most private thoughts, not to be shared with ANYONE.
I understand that you're hurting, and that you feel a lack of trust, but definitely don't push this particular issue. I'm not saying you don't have a reason to be suspicious, but this is not the solution. If you feel like she is being evasive with questions, or even outright lying, you definitely need to confront her. And, if she refuses to acknowledge her deception or her action, then maybe it is time to move on.
But no matter what you do, reading her journals is not the answer! Good luck.
2007-01-25 18:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by Jolie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you should not read her journal, and it's unreasonable that you should expect to do so. She is fully entitled to have her own thoughts and feelings, and be able to keep them private, even from you.
A journal is often an explosion of feelings, and reflect a *process* of thought, not the final thought (ie, she may write about how she hates her boss, but the truth is that is frustrated with her stagnant career, and she can only come to that realization by writing all this stuff down).
You DO have the right to ask her about the broken promises and lies, and to request the truth, but let it come straight from her, not the chaotic, emotional, personal scribblings of her journal.
2007-01-25 18:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's hiding things from you. You shouldn't be allowed to read her journal but you shouldn't have to want to, she should be open and honest and she's not so there's your first clue. Your second clue is when she wanted to know about your past and had to know every detail, she probably needed amo so she wouldn't feel so guilty about whatever she's doing or planning to do. Let me give you some advice for your next relationship, and there will be another one cause this one doesn't seem solid. NEVER tell your past and give details about it! Every time you fight it will get thrown in your face just to make someone else feel better about themselves and chances are, their past is alot darker than yours.
2007-01-25 18:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by Whiteangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont read her journal. if you see details that you never wanted to hear then the trust thing will get worse. is better if you insist in listening the words out of her mouth. if she is liying to you how would you rather find out, her mouth or a second source????? and also beware of the diary because it might cause more questions. just talk to her as long as you have to. she will either get really angry and tell you the truth in a harsh way or she'll agree to talk to you. believe me when a woman is angry they say even what they fear to say. is a bad way to find out but works. in the end you'll come out with the truth and some more even if it hurts. i think you must know that truth is a bit.ch and it hurts. good luck, it happens with me and my gf
2007-01-25 18:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by MAX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.
you never read a girls journal without her permission first. Instead of invading her privacy, you should talk to her about your trust problems. Tell her how you feel about her not being open with you. If you read her journal, what little trust you have left is going to be gone. Trust me, just talk to her.
2007-01-25 18:55:47 · answer #9 · answered by kt_876 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't keep a journal but if I did I would NEVER let my boyfriend read it. Sometimes somethin just "aint yo business" if you get me.
However, you already know something is up. If you can't and don't trust her, and she's lying to you and breaking promises you don't need to be with her. End of story. You don't need to read her journal to know that.
2007-01-25 18:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by Jadalina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry sweetie but a journal is a girls most personal thing and if after only two months and you don't trust her it wil never work sorry i know it sucks but it is her own journal and you have no right to read it.
2007-01-25 18:45:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋