My bf is very shy and i really want him to open up to me♥?

Question

my new bf is very shy! and i am drama queen! i love attention! (opposites attract) but n~e~ways he never really talks to me! I HATE IT! all he does is smile at me and stuff! how can i get him to open up to me♥

Answer 1

How did you become Boyfriend and Girlfriend? You had to communicate somehow.

I would continue to encourage any communication as it is important in every relationship. You can start by asking him questions about himself and his family. Get to know him slowly. What he likes, what he dislikes.

Remember that shyness is just being scared when you're around other people. Just about everybody feels shy sometimes. If you're the new kid in class or your great-aunt Betty wants to give you a big hug, it can make you feel shy.

Nobody sits around and says, "Well, I think I'll be shy today." It is just something that happens. It can just sneak up on you. You might feel fine practicing your soccer kicks, but you feel nervous when the coach comes over to give you a few pointers.

But being shy isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's OK if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it.
What Causes Shyness?
Some kids are born shy and more sensitive. Sometimes even babies act shy. Have you ever seen a baby hide his or her face from a stranger? On the other hand, another baby might kick, smile, and wave at everyone, even strangers.

But if you weren't shy as a little kid, it's still possible to be a shy person. You might have learned to be shy because of experiences you've had at school or home. And sometimes you only feel shy for a short while, like the first time you get on a new school bus. This type of shyness often goes away after you get adjusted. For instance, after a few days, you'll probably have a seat you like to sit in and you'll get to know friends on the bus.

The more time you spend him, the less shy he will feel around you. You might even tell him about a time that you felt shy. It will help him to understand that everyone feels shy sometimes, even you!
Here is another website that gives insite to shyness: http://www.shyandfree.com/html/principles.html You might have him read this. It talks more to shy people, like:
You are responsible for your actions, not your feelings.
When you feel safe you do not feel shy.
Success is available every moment.
Your beliefs create your reality.
Nothing is wrong with you.
You are loved for your flaws.
Extraordinary effort is required.
You are as important as anyone else.
Not everyone was meant to be your friend or partner.


It seems then that "shyness" is a survival mechanism --- for the individual --- and for the entire population. Perhaps for humanity, “shyness” is also an evolutionary mechanism because people who are "shy" also tend to be searching for truth; people of high integrity; leaders by example; thinkers; advisors; healers; compassionate; fair; and have many other positive qualities and have many positive impacts on society. Shy people are greatly needed by the world!

Why do many shy people feel bad about their shyness? It is easy to feel bad when you appear different than other people because we assume different means something wrong. People who are shy have a special issue in that it is difficult to connect with other people of similar natures because shy people generally keep to themselves or a small group of close friends. The chances of meeting and getting to know someone who is shy is actually much smaller than the 20 percent figure would seem to indicate. Think about it, as a shy person, how many new people do you come in contact with each day and how approachable are you to a potential friend? Even though there are actually millions of people of a similar shy nature, the shy person’s experience of the world is that everyone else seems different than them.

To make matters even more challenging, not only are 80 percent of the population different than them, but 42 percent of the population is totally the opposite --- insensitive, without the ability to understand how their words and actions effect someone else (Aron 1996). To a shy/sensitive person this is completely unimaginable and meeting such people on a regular basis, in such stark contrast to themselves, only serves to reinforce self-protecting behavior.

What will help a shy person feel better? Realize that you will need to meet many people before you find someone of a similar nature (20,30,40,50+). Seek out groups and organizations that attract caring, sensitive people as this will increase you chances of meeting people of a similar nature. Learn to quickly remove yourself from an insensitive, unfriendly situation so that you can maintain your energy and remain open to more compatible people. Also realize that balance is important, and that having friends who are less sensitive can be mutually beneficial.

Answer 2

it sometimes takes longer for the guy to open up to a girl. i guess what you can do is show him that you trust him and that you can open up to him and maybe then he will open up as well. tell him how you feel, as well. talking helps a great deal.... and communication is the key to a good relationship. Best Wishes.

Answer 3

Give him time. you just cant go around changing people the way you want them. It is very self centered. you BF is probably not used to people being so open to him or him being so open to others.

Answer 4

Hmmmm
try talking to him about things he likes
once he starts telling you about the newest book he is reading or what he is working on... then he will naturally chatter and you will be able to pick up the conversation enough to lead it

Answer 5

wow..i know the feeling.. all my boyfriend si had was shy my last ex.. well the one i was engaged too..he was very shy.. its best to let him warm up to u..like flirting helps by holding hands etc..but dont go too far.. its like a tease..lol.. that will get him to slowly speak up.. that always works..:) good luck!

Answer 6

Us guys really like things like holding hands and kissing... walking up and occasionly doing one definitly will get his attention and he will talk to you more.... beleive me